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Love is Mutual

The bride delights most in his love and he delights most in her love.

Filled with God’s Spirit and flame the bride to be says of  Israel’s king “your love is more delightful than wine” Solomon’s Song of Songs 1:2

The queen of Sheba even knew God gave Israel such a wise and great king because of His Love to them and gives praise to the LORD

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Praise be to the Lord your God, who has delighted in you and placed you on the throne of Israel. Because of the Lord’s eternal love for Israel, he has made you king to maintain justice and righteousness.”  1 Kings 10:9

The husband delights most in her love.  “for your love is much more pleasing than wine” Song 4:10.   Their feelings are mutual because they are both sensing God’s Flame in them if the feelings are based on objective Truth.  They both delight in the experience of God’s love through their spouse.  She delights to submit.  He is happy to have her submit.  Both are happy and fulfilled doing their role in marriage.   He is delighted that she is his because he loves her.  Due to their union in love, they have mutual delight in each other’s love.  When she is loving him he is delighted.  When he is a loving wise king she is delighted.  Both are delighted experiencing God’s love in Marriage.  The fruit of the Spirit is love, Joy…  or delight.  Delight in God primarily, yet God desires and commands them to delight in each others love more than wine.  Even God’s greatest delight and their greatest delight are the same delight.  God knows Himself and His Delight is in Himself.  Is His Delight in you?

They sense God’s love through the one they love and it is most pleasing and more delightful than wine.  He senses or experiences God’s love when she lovingly submits.  And she experiences God’s most delightful love when her husband is ruling in the marriage according to Scripture most lovingly and wisely.  Oh, the sweet harmony between a wise king and loving subject.  Oh, how sweet the harmony between a husband and wife.  Oh, oh, oh how much sweeter is the harmony in the relationship a humble believer has to His Wise King of Kings and Savior, the LORD Jesus Christ!

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Love is an emotion.  A Holy Emotion.  God is love.  Sinful lust is evil, but holy love is good.  Love, joy, peace, delight, grief and sorrow are all emotions.   Since love is an emotion it can be felt.  God is love and we partake of the His nature,  when we partake or are partaking of His Nature or Love, in his presence is joy.  You sense God love when you have a feeling that is delightfully based on Truth.

So to have joy in the heart having the idea that Israels wise king, God’s son, the king of peace would rule over you during a time of love, joy, peace and rest.  That experience of God’s love through his son is more delightful than any other experience.

(Having an idea similar to Jesus Christ is the same as having a shadow of the idea of Christ in the mind, for Solomon was only a Type.  Jesus the Anti-type for He is “Greater than Solomon.”  Matt. 12:42

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Thinking of the holy character of Israel’s king and Messiah and remembering and desiring more experiences of God’s love through His son, by him bringing love, joy, peace and rest through by his unmeasurable wisdom and love.

Complete practical oneness in marriage depends on both having the same feelings based on the objective truth/Truth and reality of their union.

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Love binds true lovers

Love binds the servant joyfully and delightfully to God’s wise son and king on earth.  God’s flame of Love is effective and powerful in a marriage between two believers!  The bride wants union and communion in love with Solomon, the king of peace.  She has love to God in her heart Song 8:6 and Ez. 36:26   Since she has a love to God in her heart then she will also have a love to His son, for Jedidiah is Solomon’s other “name.”

Notice also that this union is one of a kingdom.  The context of Song 1:2-4 is that of a king in a kingdom with Jews and Gentiles persons and Nations able to have a closer more intimate relationship with God through his son, the king of peace.  Other kings would submit to Solomon.  Therefore peace between nation and nation.  Each king had a kingdom, each kingdom was to be ruled by God.  Solomon’s Kingdom was the most perfect theocratic monarchy.  Peace through unity.  United under God in love.  Therefore Song 1:2-4 is the context of a Gentile enemy slave girl desiring Solomon to be her king in 1:2-4 and desiring even further intimacy in hopes of marriage 1:4.  They started off as enemies!  They start off the furthest apart you can get in many respects and then are drawn closer in many respects due to God’s Flame of love dwelling in each of them.  8:6

So their is a social union of king and subjects. 1:2-4.  A marital union desired in 1:4.  There is a social union or fellowship in God’s love desired between true believers in God’s kingdom 1:5-6

Application

Husbands are to be a type of king in the relationship.  A wise king.  A holy king.  A loving king.  A king who’s ruling is so good that experiencing his rule over was more delightful than more. 1:2-4

For the Husbands

  1. Be a Christian and resolve to be the king or Leader in the Family.  Know that you are king.  God’s representative in the union.  Your role is to put the Glory of God on display by being a wise, good and loving ruler or decision maker.  You do this by living according to Scripture.  In the Bible contains knowledge by which the husband/king obtains information on how to rule wisely.  Since he loves God then he will be guided more and more often by His Wisdom in all his decisions.  God gave Solomon unmeasurable wisdom to love his wife Biblically.  Wisdom is skill for living.  You must get skilled at loving your wife.   Follow Solomon’s example in the Song!! 40319618_m
  2. Learn, get corrected, or rebuked then trained in it.  Think of Jesus Christ as King of Kings and His love as a Wise, Forgiving, Loving and Good King who loves His Bride and love your wife the same!  Love her as King as Jesus Christ who is King of Kings loves His Bride.  See also Solomon’s way he ruled the kingdom and his family, see wisdom.  You need wisdom to guide your marriage.  Worldly wisdom will destroy your marriage and Godly wisdom will make it all sweeter and more glorifying to God at the same time.  You will be most satisfied in her submission when she is most satisfied in your Leadership or Headship skills.  You must endeavor to have her explain your headship like that of “purest gold”  Song 5:11  She needs to see your leadership as flawless and valuable in the marriage and herein are both of you happiest and God most glorified in you because you are most satisfied in Him alone.

Application for the Wives or Woman in Courtship

Your role is to submit to your husbands as the church submits to the Church.  Look at how the Bride of Christ is supposed to submit to Jesus and seeing the Bride’s love to Jesus, love your husband as the church or bride in the Song delightfully submitted to her king.  Here is power to love.  Sense the love the church has for Christ.  Sense it and know it and out of love to Jesus Christ prove your love by submitting to Him in every way and your husband for God’s Glory.  Okay she sins 2x in the Song but she learns that nothing can stop her overall growing love to him because Love or God’s Flame lives in her 8:6.  Feel the love the bride has in the Song.  What she feels, love is the same feeling 1,500 years ago as it is today.  The Song is in the first person so this is often easy to do.  Yet that subjective feeling needs to be based on  the objective Truth or Jesus, who is the way, the Truth and the life, no one goes to the father but by Him and not lies.  The bride in the Song believed in The coming Messiah and loved the king who was like him/Him.  Are your feelings for your husband based on the fact that he is like the coming Messiah?  Or are your feelings for him based more on what you can get from him verses loving him for who he is and his christ/Christ like character.  Solomon in the Song had a Christ like character until he grew old 1 Kings 11:4.

Application for Believers

The bride desired king Solomon because his reputation was pleasing to her and love coming from a wise king like him was more delightful than wine.  The young king was the most desirable single man.  Can you see the love she has for the king?  She is a nobody, a Gentile slave girl and he is Israel’s Messiah, wise and loving king.  And she desires the closest most intimate relationship with him as soon as possible and to experience closer and closer intimacy over and over again because his holy love God’s flame of Love is in him and it is more delightful than wine.

Now argue from the lesser to the Greater.

Solomon was a great Messiah, but no The Messiah.  Jesus is Greater.  Jesus was God and man and Solomon was just a man, yet gifted with unmeasurable wisdom.  Jesus is Greater also because He fulfilled all prophecy about The Messiah to the fullest.  Jesus is infinitely more desirable than Solomon was to his bride.

Do you desire a closer more intimate relationship with Jesus more than the woman does to the wises king?

Of course you love to Jesus is not up to par.  Or you would be perfect.  You know your love isn’t what it ought to be, yet you want it to be up to par.

Use of information

To believers

To encourage believers to have a more intimate relationship with Jesus Christ by learning more about Him.  The name of the king was pleasing to hear.  In order to have the Name Jesus Christ be the most pleasing name to here, you must grow in your knowledge of who He is and what he has done for you.  Growing in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior will bring your bond of love tighter, closer and more intimate especially as you submit to Him as King of kings because you love Him and it is right and your greatest joy to lovingly submit to Him because He is the Wisest, most Loving King and beholding His Moral Beauty is really all you desire.

To the non believers

You do not have Jesus as King.  You live your life however you want.  You may look good on the outside but your motives are selfish or out of fear of punishment.  You are not in a love relationship with Jesus Christ, though He does love you with a love of Benevolence not due to any complacency in your character, you have no moral beauty or excellency, His Wrath abides on you and the lake of fire is your destiny.  You continue to believe the lies of the devil and your righteousness or supposed righteousness is like the most disgusting and repulsive garment worthy only to be burned.

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Separation from God’s Love and union with His Wrath

I urge you to repent of being king of your life and submit to Jesus.  You whole life, not just parts of it.  Submit your mind to Him and think Truth.  Submit your feelings to Him and Love and Delight in Him and hate sin.  Submit not only all your heart to Him but all your words and actions.  Submit to His Rule it is a loving rule not for selfish gain but for your good and  God’s Glory.  It is good for you to obey Jesus.  Its in your best interest to change your life.  Stop the sinning, misery and unrest and find holiness, happiness and peace through a loving intimate relationship with Jesus Christ who died in your place for your sins and lived a perfect life so that that perfect life or righteousness, His Righteosness could be credited to your account as your own, as if you lived His life, the God treats you as if you lived His life, not by you supposed good works do you earn heaven.  You know you have not done good and that your are a sinner.  By your own merit you have earned only greater and greater hell fire with no chance ever to get out.  God is Great, much Greater than Solomon.  Imagine no taking the advice of Solomon.  You would be stupid to not take the advice of Solomon, well you would be even more stupid “more stupid than any man” Prov.  if you were to not submit to the King of kings and LORDs of lords.  How much greater is the offense to Jesus Christ than an offense to king Solomon who sat on His Throne. 2 Chronicles. 9:8

Jesus Christ is the most desirable King of Kings.  Your father king is the devil and you believer his lies.  Jesus Christ is Truth and rules accordingly and most beneficially so go to Him and submit all yourself, both inside and out to Him in Love for Christ’s sake not just your own.  Christian submission is sweet and not burdensome, His commands for believers with a new heart to love the one they love is not burdensome.  Go to Him for he is humble and loving in heart.  The sooner the better!

So that you could sense and know God’s Love, He sent His one and only Son into the World, put on flesh and lived a perfect life then our sins were place on him and he felt the punishment for our sins, died and rose again.  Proving His work on earth was “finished” in full.  He has given His life for you, now give your life to him and say…

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Other thoughts

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.
God sent his son and showed His love among us.  Love is seen in God giving for love gives, yeah gives Himself Completely to the one it loves.  God sent Jedidah, Israels Messiah and king into the world to sit on God’s throne in Jerusalem and demonstrate God’s intimate love to them by loving his/His bride/Bride so that as true Jews got both the sense and idea of God’s love demonstrated or illustrated in their holy union and communion.
God is in her.   God is love.   God lives in her and God lives in him.  And she is in God.  Her delight is in Him and His love.  1:2
“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”
When God’s love dwells or lives in the union of a believing husband and wife, the purpose of His indwelling Spirit will accomplish it’s end or purpose.   For when they love one another love is made complete in them or in the relationship.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

Application

In order to the fullest assurance of your salvation you must be assured that God lives in you.  That Jesus is yours.   He gave Himself to you and for you.  You know, by both feeling or sensing and knowing in the mind the love of God.  Love to God includes both knowledge of Him and love, joy and delight in Him.  Truth based on the person and work of Jesus Christ, God’s Son of Love, the Prince of Peace, our Good Shepherd, Savior and Friend.

 

They commune, one with the other in love.  Their is a mutual sharing of love which they both delight in.  Communion is a mutual sharing of those things which delight those in that relationship.  There is a relationship between King and subjects that is similar to the relationship between husband and wife.  In that relationship their should be love on both parts.  King loves God’s people, God’s people love the king.  Love is reciprocated for true love reciprocates.  God loves the king and the king loves the subject.  Therefore the subject experiences God love through the king.  Her love delighted in the strictest union with the king in his role as king and as close and intimate as possible “in his inner chambers”  She doesn’t want to be far and hating him but near and expressing her love to him.

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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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