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“My Beloved is Mine, and I am His”

King Solomon who was a type of Christ wrote 1,005 Songs.  The one that made it into the Bible was the one that illustrated love in marriage better than any of the other’s.

Chapter one starts off at a time in history when Solomon was a child and David was about to die.  David said that Solomon was to be the next king and they anointed him before David died.  Solomon would be the 3rd Messiah of Israel.

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At the time of his first anointing (Solomon was crowned king a “second time” “on the day of his wedding” after David died.   2 Chronicles 29:22 and Song 3:11.  The Gentile enemy slave girls response to seeing the new king anointed and smelling the aroma is recorded in Song of Songs 1:2-4.

At this point she knew of him and he didn’t know her as of yet.  She was immediately in love because he had a “name“, a good reputation that was as pleasing to hear as his anointing oils were pleasing to smell.

The born again Gentile sunburnt slave girl desired the king to be her husband and have him show her love over and over again because his love was more delightful than wine, thus drawing her to himself as quickly as possible.  Song 1:2-4.

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Since she was a Gentile and the king and his people were Jews, the daughters of Jerusalem stared down at the sunburnt slave girl as she desired to be in the closest most intimate relationship with their new king.  She wanted to be accepted into their fellowship with the king and be out of slavery and experience peace and rest in the promise land beside the “flocks of the kings friends”  1:7.

Solomon as a child was also a shepherd.  The first conversation the slave girl has with Solomon is when he is co-regent and shepherding his flock.  She is still in slavery and wants to be out of the hot noon day sun and sitting next to him at perfect peace and rest where he shepherds his flock.   He lets her know where to find him and they have their first date.  The first date goes so well  from first conversation to first time looking into each other’s doves eyes, then a walk through the most beautiful garden all the while they are adoring each other, then time under the apple tree then he takes her to the banquet hall where his banner over her was love and she passes out in his arms due to the overwhelming effect his love has on her.

Just at the right time he comes to propose to her, she hesitates a little and he gets her to talk to her while she felt safe saying,

My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places on the mountain side, show me your face, let me hear your voice, for your face is lovely and your voice is sweet.”

She desires to marry him and wants to be a close to him as possible but there are foxes in the relationship that are hindering them from enjoying the blessed fruits of their friendship that was soon to be and engagement.  So she says to him,

Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.” 2:15

So what we have here right before engagement is a proposal by the shepherd king and the bride to be is wanting the relationship to blossom but their are foxes, little foxes that she would like caught before engagement.  He must have agreed to catch them because in the very next verse she glories in the fact they they own each other due to their love for each other.   She says,

My beloved is mine and I am his.

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They are engaged and the wedding isn’t until later in 3:11.

He gives himself to her and she gives herself to him.  Love gives.  Also notice the mutual ownership and possession of the one to the other in her words,  “My beloved is mine, and I am his

She has great reason to boast and glory in this fact.  The one she loved is now hers!!  The king of Israel is hers!  A Messiah of Israel has just given himself to a Gentile slave girl because he loves her and she gave her life to him and was his because she loved him.  She glories in the fact and says “My beloved is mine and I am his

The man of every woman’s dreams just gave himself to her and she is the happiest woman alive.  On her mind is the fact that he is hers, particularly in context to “catch the foxes” that would otherwise keep them apart.  He will do his part and she promised to do her part.  Her part was to be his.  Her part was to deny herself and do his will not her own, thus making sure the two were bonded in love as tight as possible.

Sinful boasting.

There is a sinful boasting or glorying in a fact and there is boasting that is not sinful but righteous boasting.  Sinful boasting comes from a proud conceit, is ostentatious, often has external manifestations of it and has a selfish motive and ambition as a primary goal and not the Glory of God.  Sinful boasting is exceedingly sinful.  Also to not rejoice with those who rejoice is sinful.  Rejoice with the bride who is in possession of her beloved and who has given herself to him.  One might think that she was sinfully boasting if she only said “My beloved is mine…” as if she of herself got him to love her,  but still happy she says,  “…and I am his.”  She doesn’t just take in the relationship she also gives.  He gives himself 100 percent to her and she gives herself 100 percent to him and no agreement is made as if there was a price to their love.  She doesn’t say if you give yourself to me then I will give myself to you, then this would make her love conditional.  But her love is not conditional but reciprocal in nature because she loves him.  For her to not boast in her current situation would be an unworthy treating of the work of God in their relationship and a not giving God what is due His name.  She may esteem the honor that is from God and in subordination to the honor of God.  Its a heart issue not the words she says.

Godly boasting.

Godly boasting is lawful and pleases God.  A glorying that is proper and fitting for the godly comes from a humble heart, that signifies a rejoicing in and making much of any privilege and honor that one is possessed of before other’s for their notice and esteem of that privilege for the glory of God.  Ps. 34:2, 44:8, 64:10, 106:5; Isaiah 45:25.

Here she is rejoicing and delighting in a mutual giving of one person to another.  A most beautiful act of love for love gives.  Her boast is in the outward expression of love.  Any outward expression of love is due to an inward working of God in the heart for God is love.  She makes much of the situation, rejoices in it and does so in a way that lets us know, implying that we take notice of their privilege and may highly esteem it also due to the praiseworthiness of the occasion.  Phil 4:8.

There is nothing wrong with a bride to be going home and telling all her friends and family, “We are engaged, the one I love gave himself to me and I gave myself to him.” “My beloved is mine and I am his.”  Our response is usually something like “I am so happy for you, praise God!”  and we give God the honor due his name for God is love and is Sovereign.  Love binds and sin separates.  Here God dwelling in their hearts binds them together in love for love gives.  He gave himself to her and she gave herself to him.  This is a very joyous occasion!  Those who take notice of their high privilege may humbly and highly esteem it.

Tis a real Privilege & an Honor worthy to be made much of that is chiefly Gloried in, a proud glorying is more generally in that which is indeed not worthy.

Though God is not mentioned directly in the verse love is.  We can see what God is doing.  He is uniting two lovers by the power of His love in their hearts.  The reason for their closer and closer union was because of love Song 8:6.   He gives himself to her because his love is strong as death in its purpose and unquenchable in nature.  She reciprocates for the same reason, because of the superlative characteristics of the love they shared.  Love is the cause of their union, therefore the love of the king is rightly to be praised.  Love is an attribute of God, when love is praised so is God.

God delights in our happiness, seeing it as a work of his own goodness.
 God may have a real and proper pleasure or happiness in seeing the happy state
of the creature; yet this may not be different from his delight in himself, being a delight in his own infinite goodness, or the exercise of that glorious propensity of his nature to diffuse and communicate himself, and so gratifying this inclination of his own heart. This delight which God has in his creature’s happiness cannot properly be said to be what God receives from the creature. For it is only the effect of his own work in and communications to the creature, in making it and admitting it to a participation of his fullness, as the sun receives nothing from the jewel that receives its light and shines only by a participation of its brightness.  Jonathan Edwards

Love delights in the happiness of the object of its affection.  We must see it as an act of God’s own goodness when those who are engaged are happy!

God exercises that glorious propensity of His Nature to diffuse and communicate Himself in the free giving of one spouse to another in engagement and marriage.  The point is to see God on display in their engagement.  The giving of oneself to another is and expression of true love.  Love is an attribute of God.  Any manifestation of love is an act of God.  To delight in God is the same as a delighting in any expression or effulgence of love.  A delight in the expression is a praise of love.  Speaking of the king the people say, “We will rejoice and delight in you we will praise your love more than wine.”  Him giving himself to her, giving his life to her for her good and her giving herself to him is a proper effect of love and is praiseworthy.  We are to think of those things that are worthy of praise.

God would delight in the manifestations of his love and so should we.  The same disposition that inclines him to delight in his glory causes him to delight in the exhibitions, expressions, and communications of it.

First person language.  “My beloved is mine and I am his.”

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Take note that she doesn’t say this to him nor the anyone else.  She speaks in the first person.  Like watching a movie when the main character talks expressing their thoughts so the audience can know what she is thinking and feeling.  Generally this is done so that we, the audience, can get a glimpse into the heart of the bride.  Other first person verses are 1:2-4, 12-14, 2:1, and now 2:16.   The first person in this love poem is used because just giving a description of an engagement won’t give us enough information about what the bride to be is thinking and feeling at a certain time.  Rather than leaving us to guess, Solomon lets us know what was going on in her heart at one of many high points of emotion in the love Song.

Taking the bride to be’s request of him to “Catch the little foxes…”  Together with “My beloved is mine…”  gives us the impression that he has given himself to her in order to further the intimacy of the relationship by catching the foxes or enemies of the blossoming relationship.  He sincerely asks her to talk to him because he loves her and she gives her answer and he goes to work, thus catching the foxes.  It was  a husbands job to catch the physical foxes.  She had no husband to help her with her own vineyard but now they both have mutual possession of each other’s vineyards and a team that will do the work to produce fruit in that union.  Meaning she does her part in cultivating the vineyard and he does his part in catching the foxes.  Together their will be fruit of their labor in love.

He gives himself to her so that the foxes get caught and she gives herself to him so that the vineyard is properly cultivated and taken care of so that it keeps on blossoming.  Ps 92:4  “I will triumph in the work of Thine hands.”   God has united them, let no one separate them.  The work God does is enabling them to love each other and the work of the husband is to give himself to her and the work of the bride is to give herself to her husband.  Everyone is doing their job in the relationship and therefore she, in her heart, most triumphantly glories in the closer relationship that is achieved.  “My beloved is mine, and I am his.

Satan does not want God glorified.  In any all unions where two become one, God is glorified, therefore there is victory over Satan when two who truly have love in them give themselves one to the other.  Love is manifested, gloried in and then praised, thus God is glorified when two enemies truly give themselves to each other in love.

Reasons for her to Glory

Advancement of intimacy and commitment in the relationship is achieved. Engagement is a big step.  They have advanced in intimacy.  No longer is he hers as just a king.  No longer is he hers as a spiritual shepherd. But now he is her fiancé.  The relationship is moving on and things are getting more and more intimate.  What woman wouldn’t glory in the advancement of a relationship in which she so earnestly desires to be as intimate as possible as fast as possible with the greatest type of Christ alive?

A child would glory in the advancement of its parent.  A servant the advancement of her king.  A follower would glory in the advancement of her teacher.  One friend would also rejoice, be happy and glory in the advancement of another friend.  So also those in a love relationship would glory in the advancement of the level of commitment between the two.

Another reason to glory is that such a high and honorable king is hers.  Solomon had unmeasurable wisdom.  Was a Messiah of Israel that came with promises of peace and rest during his reign.  Being his wife she would be a mother in the line of the Messiah which was one of the greatest honors and privileges at the time.  She had a husband who loved God and her.  She would inherit Israel.  She would be co er to God’s kingdom on earth.  She would have the happiness every woman dreamed of in marriage.

The king who had many choices chose her among all the women to give himself to.  He would rule during a time of justice and righteousness for God’s people.  He had peace with God and so would she.  She also glories that she is his.  She is his friend.  She is joyfully his servant.  She is joyfully his follower.  Not only is it her great happiness that he is hers, but it is her joy to be his as well.  I suppose their to be many other reasons for her to rejoice and glory in the new found deeper relationship, but this is good enough for now.

What great reason is there her for her to be humbled.  She didn’t deserve any of this.  She was a slave.  It is only due to love being in her heart that she could enjoy such great privileges, otherwise she would still be in slavery under the hot sun.  For her to be in such a low position and exalted to queen of Israel during a time of peace is a great honor.

Application

Those who are married.  Have you given yourself completely to your spouse or where they just words when you got engaged and married?  Love gives.  Give yourself without reserve for the good of the one you love.

Those in Christ.   Since Christ is yours and your are his then glory to God in the fact, but look closely at your life.  Is it true.  Could you say you have given your will and life over to Jesus Christ or are you holding anything back for yourself.  If when you think that Jesus has given Himself to and for you, you may know that but when you think  “I am his” do you feel guilty because of sin in your life causing you to doubt the fact that you are his.  If you are his then you will deny all of yourself, go through whatever difficulty He calls you to and follow Him.

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Who has possession of you?  It it Christ or the devil.  Who is your husband and king?  If you are not for Christ you are against Him.  Who has your heart?  Where your treasure is there your heart will be also.  Do you esteem it your main happiness to give yourself both body and mind to Jesus Christ who loved you and died for you?

The bride gloried in the fact that king Solomon was hers, how much more so should we glory that Christ Jesus is ours.

The Bride gloried in the fact that she was his!  How much more so should we glory in the fact that we belong to Christ!  If it be true that Christ dwells in you.  Oh how much to we yearn for heaven where we will no longer sin but be wholly and always devoted to Christ.  You belong to Him.  You are his bride.  Set yourself apart for His service, in this way you will make yourself beautiful.  Adorn yourself with every moral beauty for the one you love.  Battle and fight for His glory!

If you are lacking in your Love to Christ then think often of His love to you.  He left heaven to suffer in your place out of love.  He lived a perfect life on your behalf so you could be credited His righteousness out of love.  It was love that held him there on the cross.  It is love that gives you food and clothing everyday.  It is love that He forgives your sins.  See his love to his disciples.  See his love to the blind, lame and poor.  See him feeding the hungry.  See him preparing a place for you and on and on and on, all out of love.  In seeing his love you will then love more.  As you love the way you ought to then you will realize that as you denied yourself you were giving yourself to Christ and that you were his and not your own.  Then you can glory in the fact that your beloved Christ is yours and you are his!

Non Believers.  Seek an interest in Christ!  You who are without Christ are dead in your sins and will pay the penalty for them unless you go to Christ who calls you closer by His love.  He offers Himself to you as your King, Shepherd, Friend and Savior.  Accept him as your King in every area of your life.  Follow the teachings of the good Shepherd.  He wants you to be His friend and not your enemy.  You want you to reconcile with Him, for God made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us that when He belongs to us so does His righteousness and death.  Repent of your sinful life and accept Jesus as your heavenly Husband!  Hurry and do not delay to have the closest most intimate relationship with God through Christ!  Read your Bible daily and obey your conscience.  And when the time is right you can rejoice and glory in the fact that Christ is yours and you are His. Also espouse other’s to Christ by preaching the Gospel.  Jesus Christ is the perfect Husband, their is no one greater than Him.  What a privilege and honor to be the wife of the Highest KING of kings and LORD of lords.

 

Other lessons I did on this verse

Oneness  “He is mine”

Engagement Bliss

 

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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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