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True Love Sometimes Sleeps

True love in marriage sometime sleeps.

The true love the bride has for her husband can temporally sleep but is unquenchable for many waters can’t quench it.  Song 8:6

Satan, the world, her flesh and the difficulties in marriage after the honeymoon tried to put out the flame of love yet in the end her love only grows.

The bride’s love after the honeymoon slept.  She knew it for her mind was awake and alert to what was going on.  Many times her heart was on fire for her beloved.  Line up 10,000 husbands and he was better than them all.  His love to her during their first date, courtship and marriage was more delightful than wine and now after the honeymoon her love to him sleeps.

He comes home late one night and she doesn’t want to go to the trouble of getting out of bed and answer the door.  He has been gone and when he arrives her heart doesn’t pound for him and she is not eagerly awaiting his arrival.  Nor is she willing to do whatever it takes to be close to him.  Later her husband adores her after learning her lesson and absolutely delights in her as the personification of love.  But here in Chapter 5 she is not delighting in the fact that her beloved is hers and she is his.  The bride’s role in marriage is to give herself completely to her husband.

She doesn’t practically live out what is true positionally.  What is true positionally is that she is his.  She is queen and he is king.  She ought to answer his call.  She is his.  She has no will of her own.  But there is still some remaining sinfulness in her.  She has not completely given herself to him in every way at all times.  But she quickly learns.

The context is very important on this one.  Right after marriage in the middle of the greatest love Song ever written by Solomon is a scene in the marriage where love temporarily fails but recovers stronger than before.

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Due to a lack of a little self denial the most beautiful bride forfeits the enjoyment of the presence of her beloved.  Listen to her words explaining what amounts the basically the second nightmare of the bride.  The first one was in 3:1-4 and now there is another painful experience.   The painful experience of feeling separated from the one you love.  The bride starts of with her sleeping both physically and spiritually and her husband desires to be near her and have her answer his call, yet she has to think about it.  She says,

I was asleep but my heart was awake.
A voice! My beloved was knocking:
‘Open to me, my sister, my darling,
My dove, my perfect one!
For my head is drenched with dew,
My locks with the damp of the night.

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The Bride is comfortable physically and spiritually sleeping when her husband/Husband calls.

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These may be funny but when God calls us to not be lazy we ought to get out of bed.  When the husband calls it is God calling because God calls you to love and obey your husband.  Ignoring your husband is ignoring God and ignoring God is sin not love.

 

He wants them to be both more physically and spiritually closer more than she does.

The bride’s hesitates because she has to deny herself some comfort  in order to have him closer to her.  Here for our edification is what was going through her mind.  Suppose she was talking to her girlfriends about the night her love slept and her where to ask her the question.   “What were you thinking.”  “What was going through your mind when you husband the king of kings knocked at your door and you didn’t open it.”  The bride lets us know, for she says,
I have taken off my dress,
How can I put it on again?
I have washed my feet,
How can I dirty them again?

The sight of only his hand arouses her love.  Her feelings for him are now aroused enough for her to get out of her comfortable position and deny herself some comfort, and go through some trouble and answer his call.  She does not act out her nickname “shulammite”  Queen of peace.  She is rather acting like an enemy to the throne of God rather than a friend or someone who is not only at peace with God but keeping the peace in the relationship.  She is not calling “Queen of peace”  until 6:11.  For now she is late but now willing to deny herself, go through some difficulty in order to be near her beloved until it was to late.
“My beloved extended his hand through the opening,
And my feelings were aroused for him.
“I arose to open to my beloved;”

Back in the day of Solomon the doors had holes in them where you could reach your hand through and grab the “handles of the bolt” and open the door from the outside.  But here the bolt is locked.

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When the king touches the handle his hands leave myrrh on the handle.   When the bride finally goes to unlock the door and open for her beloved he is gone but she knew he was there because the abundant amount of myrrh from his hands  was left on the bolt.  Enough for her hands to be dripping with it for she says,
And my hands dripped with myrrh,
And my fingers with liquid myrrh,
On the handles of the bolt.”

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She gets up puts her royal sandals on and gets your clothes on and answers the door.  This would take some time because first she was thinking about what she would have to go through in order to be near him. and after seeing him and knowing he was there checking to see if the door was unlocked for him she finally decides to get her feet a little dirty and put on some clothes in order to prove her love to him.  She lets us know what happened when her self denying love finally awakened for him.
“I opened to my beloved,
But my beloved had turned away and had gone!”

He had checked the door and it was locked.  He knocked and she didn’t say “Hi honey, the door is locked but here I come.”  He found the door locked and her not responding so he goes to the garden.  She forgets where to find him, gets beaten up in the search, is reminded of how excellent her husband is and then is reminded that he is to be found in the garden.  Since she wasn’t ready to enjoy him, he goes to a place where they shared their holy love for one another.  He goes there and waits for her.  Song 6:2

The heat of the fire in her heart was now on but the light in her mind as to where he was is not out completely but dimmer than usual, for she doesn’t know where to find him.  Information is lost in her mind, but her desire for him is increased through the experience of terrible feelings of sin that separates us from our beloved/Beloved.

“turned away”  is a word that communicates the idea of being there and then not there.

The bride lets us know how she feels inside doubt the situation.
My heart went out to him as he spoke.”

She searches where she thinks he may be found and calls for him but there is no answer.  You can totally sense he her getting more and more lovesick in her next words,
“I searched for him but I did not find him;
I called him but he did not answer me.”

Her sin and shame is exposed “they take her veil“.  The watchman discipline her “they beat me.

“The watchmen who make the rounds in the city found me,
They struck me and wounded me;
The guardsmen of the walls took away my veil/shawl from me.

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They take away her false sense of security when absent from her beloved.  Her putting on her veil that hides the fact that she is acting like someone who doesn’t love her husband.  A prostitute wore a veil to hide their face, sin and shame.  They exposed her face, sin and shame thus taking away her own shawl, clothes or cloak that gave her a false sense of comfort when he was gone.  Clearly she is not leaning on her beloved when the watchmen found her.  Her selfish act brought discipline from the watchman and not praise from her husband.  She answered his call in 4:8 and that proof of her love was more delightful than wine, but here in 5:2 the husband doesn’t get to experience the love of his wife when he wanted to.

She has lost her “Strength and dignity, which are her clothing” Prov. 31:25

This is a large section that starts off with the couple being apart in 5:2 and finally they are together again and he is praising her in 6:4.  Once together they even strengthen the bond to the point that nothing can separate them or temporarily stifle her love to God and husband.

True love in marriage sometime sleeps.

What benefit can we get from this truth?

Expect sin in marriage.

When love sleeps horrible feelings of separation will ensue.  The bride should expect feelings of separation from God and husband when she sins.

Expect progression not perfection in a marriage with true love.

God uses Satan, the world, the flesh and trials to increase our love to God and our spouses for God works all things together for the good of her increasing holiness because of her love.

What is the major lesson learned by the bride?

The bride learns to give herself completely to her husband.

How do we know she learns this lesson?

Because later on in 6:4 she says,  “I am my beloved’s“.  She is looking at her life and realizing that she is not her own anymore.  Practically speaking she is in reality no longer her own.  She has not only said she will give herself completely to him in marriage but she is actually doing it in every way by 6:4, therefore she says, “I am my beloveds”.  There is absolute no way a woman could get engaged and immediately be on the same page in every way with her husband.  Her denying herself and giving herself to him is a process though positionally she is his, practically that truth must be learned.  In this context it took some disciplining of the bride, terrible feelings of lovesickness and separation in order for her to learn her lesson.

The bride speaks truth as to where her and her beloved are in the relationship.  At engagement they make promises to one another.  He gives himself to her and she gives herself to him, yet her giving herself to him needs to be worked out.  The most excellent husband in the love Song completely gives himself to her for he is “a beloved above all other’s” truly in reality and not in her mind. Song 5:9-10

When her love is tested in Song 5:2 she fails temporarily.  She slept.

The bride must first learn how to live out the new reality that her beloved is hers and she is his.  They gave themselves to each other in courtship but now in marriage that truth must be practically lived out.  “My beloved is mine and I am his”

Application

Every married woman at the time of Solomon ought to think of how Israel God’s and God was theirs.

She was to think of how God gave Himself to Israel and how Israel was to reciprocate their love to God by giving themselves completely to him.  Israel did this at Mt. Sinai.   They promised to obey, yet when God called they usually didn’t answer immediately even though they were supposed to.

A bride in the O.T.  was to think of how Israel loved God and then love their husbands the same way.

God’s likened to a husband of Israel.  And Israel is often likened to being His Bride. Israel’s thinking and delight of their souls should have been “God is ours and we are His“.  Since God was the Authority in their relationship, when God called Israel to do something they were to do it joyfully, immediately and with their whole heart.

Exodus 29:45-46 “I will dwell among the people of Israel and will be their God. And they shall know that I am the LORD their God

Leviticus 26:12
“And I will walk among you, and will be your God, and ye shall be my people.”

The people of Israel where God’s people.  Now if a wife didn’t answer the call of her husband then she would not be acting like she was God’s but acting autonomously.  Self serving.  But when Israel would answer the call of God then they would be practically acting out of love what was position or theologically true in reality.

God united Himself to Israel through the Person and work of the coming Messiah and Israel, God’s bride gave themselves to God by promising to obey at Mt. Sinai.  The bride in the Song was now in a Covenant Relationship with God.  Yet in 5:2 she disobeys God.

God called Israel to get out of their comfort zone, deny themselves and obey God’s call to a closer relationship through self denial.

The Christian is also to think of the principle truth of mutual possession in marriage as it relates to Jesus.  “Jesus is ours and we are His”

Jesus has proven His love to us at the cross.  He gave Himself to and for us.  We in return reciprocate our love by giving ourselves to Him.  Yet, there is still so much remaining pride, unbelief and selfishness (flesh) or enemies of God remaining within that our love to Jesus sometimes sleeps.  Yet the discipline of God that comes by way of felt separation from the one/One we love and grief for offending him/Him should bring about repentance and a closer relationship that results from a more immediate obedience to the one/One we love.

When our conscience got “I should pray today”  “I should read my Bible”  Don’t lie, tell the truth.  Witness to your family.  Repent of such and such sin.  Deny yourself some comfort for the sake of Jesus Christ.  Anything you know you ought to do that comes to mind is your Lover calling you.  You are His.  Think often of how He manifested His love to you by giving Himself to and for you.  Think often of your promise to give yourself to Him and then do it.  Read your Bible when He wants you to.  Obey when He calls.  If you love Him you will obey.  Yes, your love will sleep and you deserve hell for sinning but trust that Jesus paid the punishment for your sins while your love to Him was sleeping.

There is greater motivation to obey Jesus than the bride had to obey Solomon.

Jesus is more worthy of greater love than Solomon was of his wife.  Our feelings for God ought to be greater than our feelings for our spouses.  The feeling is the same feeling by nature but not in degree.  Love is not just a knowing your beloved but delighting in answering his/His call immediately thus proving a deeper love.

I find it quite amazing that many believers say they didn’t have time to read their Bible or pray.  We all sleep.  There is time to read and pray.  If you have time to sleep you have time to read, pray or worship.  Deny yourself some comfortable sleep in order to prove your love to Jesus.

Imagine a wife that never gave any attention to their husband all day.  Would you say that wife loved her husband?  Yes, there may be some days where she was really busy and he is gone, but if she loved him she would deny herself some comfort in order to be alone with him if she really loved him.  How far we are willing to go should prove the “depth” of our love.  How consistently we deny ourselves will prove the “length” of our love.  The higher our thoughts of Jesus proves the height of our love.   And the greater number of people we love proves the “width” of our love.

To many believers miss the opportunity to sweetly fellowship with Jesus Christ in prayer or worship due to a lack of a little self denial!!

Application

Confess you sin.  When your love to God is sleeping confess it to God.  Believe you deserve hell for disobeying God.  Trust that Jesus paid the punishment for you and have no fear of that punishment you deserve.  Trust that the perfect righteousness of Jesus Christ is credited to your account as if you lived the perfect life of Jesus.  Then when you die you will be treated as if you lived His life and not your sinful soul sleeping life.  God sent His Son to suffer for all the times you ignored God’s call.  We all like sheep have gone astray but God 2,000 years ago laid upon Jesus Christ the iniquity of His Bride.

Don’t hold any part of you life back for yourself.  Give yourself completely in every area you know and He will give you the Holy Spirit to dwell richly in you empowering you to obey by faith.

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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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