Solomon’s Song of Song 1:2-4
2″May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is better than wine.
3 “Your oils have a pleasing fragrance,
Your name is like purified oil;
Therefore the maidens love you.
4 “Draw me after you and let us run together!
The king has brought me into his chambers.”
First I will give some general observations. Give application of the husband, suitor, wife, bride to be and the Bride of Christ.
Fist some observations
- The bride is speaking expressing her desire to experience God’s love through Solomon over and over again in marriage because his love is more delightful than wine and his character is holy and pure. v2-3
- The reason the maidens, virgins or unmarried women loved Solomon was because it pleased them to hear his name.
- The bride wanted Solomon to “draw” her to himself quickly, soon and fast. “Let us run together”
- She desired and the “king” brought her “into his chambers.” The idea is that Solomon brought her into a personal close intimate relationship.
Far more could be said about these verses my intent in this series is to give lots of application. I have gone in detail on these verses in the lessons.
Application for the Husband
Be saved, be a true Christian. Its impossible to love your wife by the power of the Holy Spirit as God wants you to without being saved. You must possess love, the “Flame of the LORD” Song 8:6 so that the love of Christ can be on display in your marriage. The kind of love shared in the Song is a holy sweet love. It is a love that comes from the Holy Spirit within believers. True love can only happen between believers.
- Your wife desires the most delightful experiences of God’s love through you over and over again. Love, love, love. It’s what she has tasted from God and desires more of it. However you show your love to your wife, it needs to be better and more delightful than any other earthly experience. “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church.” Ephesians 5:25-33 Nourish, cherish and present her holy and blameless. You wife, if she is godly, delights in recieving immediate forgiveness more than the delight she would get from wine. She delights in the love of a godly man more than anything else. She delights in your listening and understanding more than the delight she would get from wine. For her to experience God’s love though you is her greatest delight and it should be your greatest delight to love her as Christ loves the Church. Holy thoughts and feelings must be mutual for practical oneness in marriage.
- What are some ways that you have loved your wife in the past
- In conversation
- In keeping your promises
- Providing for her physical and spiritual needs
- When were the times that she was most delighted in your love for her?
- Praying with and for her daily.
- Carefully read 1 Cor. 13:4, How can you be patient, kind, humble and not arrogant like Christ and love your wife as Christ loved the Church? .“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails. 1 Peter 3:7 “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”
- What are some ways that you have failed to keep on loving your wife? She desired multiple shows of affection. She didn’t want the love to stop. “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth. Yes this is physical affection. She desires multiple kisses, but the idea is that of affection or love. Love expresses itself many ways. The one she chose here is that of a kiss on the lips from the king! Where have you failed in loving your wife as Christ loves the Church, at these times your wife isn’t getting what her heart desires most and worst of all you have disobeyed God in these areas. Your conscience will bear witness where you have failed.
- Confess to God where you have failed and then see Christ bearing your sin on the cross and repent. Ps. 51 Confess and repent of all sin, now! One step at a time, you can do it.
- Confess to your wife where you have failed. Something like, “Honey, Im sorry, I really am sorry I didn’t listen to you, I was selfish. Please forgive me and don’t be angry with me, Im sorry and there is no excuse for what I did, I will do better next time.” Confess sincerely, quickly and soon. Confess everything that comes to mind. Be a man, don’t make any excuses!! Don’t confess and then make excuses, own your faults, you did it but you love both God and your wife and don’t want to offend her again. Grieve and mourn your sin, ask her forgiveness, which means your asking her to not be angry with you.
- Resolve right now to get better and better at making your love to your wife the most delightful experience! What can you do right now? What is the first thing you can do? Do it!! Don’t wast any time. Show your love today, now if possible.
- Study how Solomon used his unmeasured wisdom and skill to love his wife. Look to Godly mature men at your church or in your family and follow their example. Your looking for good Biblical examples not worldly examples of love. Join with another couple in learning how to love each other better and keep each other accountable.
- Think of how Jesus loves you and love your wife the same way. Christ is patient, forgiving, faithful to His promises etc. Christ is a wise King, good shepherd, perfect leader, friend. Fulfill your role as a husband and Christ will say “Well done good and faithful servant.”
- Character is number one!! Think of everything that is good about your wife. Make a list of everything that is good. Think of them now!! “He who finds a wife finds a good thing” Though your mind might be way to often on all the bad she does, take a moment to think that your wife is a “good thing”. She is not all bad. Im sure you can remember why you liked her in the first place. Surely there were things about her character that you loved so much. Thank God for her!! You don’t deserve her. You can’t complain because you deserve worse Lam 3:39, God is being Merciful!!
Single men out there, this is for you. Are you looking for a wife? She only wants to be loved and you can do this by being like Christ and having a good name. The first 3 chapters of the Song is courtship but the ideas in the first 3 chapters can apply to marriage as well. This application is for the Suitor or godly man dating or wanting to pursue a godly woman. In the Song they are not married til the end of Chapter 3 and the honeymoon is chapter 4.
- Be a suitor of a good Christian character. For the suitor, the godly single woman is looking for a man of character. Be a man of a good character. Not perfect but headed that direction. Basically, the woman you marry will be trusting you with her spiritual and physical life. Your character is number 1.
- Does hearing your name bring a smile to the one you are pursuing? She should primarily be drawn to you because of your character. In life have you been faithful, are you continuing in any sin then repent and look to the cross for forgiveness. You name, Is it pleasing to her like perfume poured out. A good name should be pleasing for her. Your looking to have a name that when she hears is, she gets pleasure just from the mention of your name. What kind of reputation do you have. Or is it your money or looks mainly that draw her to you?
- Do not be continuing in the same habitual pattern of sin, this will ensure that your name is good. Imaging knowing someone who is continuing in sin. You would hear of that person and it would not be pleasing to hear their name.
- Do you have a character that would attract holy women? All the maidens loved Solomon, because of his wisdom and love that gave him such a great name.
- No dating unless you desire to be married to someone someday. People with the gift of singleness should not be dating. Not that you have to marry the one you date but if you think you have the gift of singleness then you ought not to be dating. Iron can sharpen iron in conversation but dating should only between two people of the opposite sex and only. In my opinion there tends to be a few stages before marriage. 1st one is getting to know the other person. At church, work, outings and various group settings. Then, Second, there is dating. A more intimate getting to know them. Testimonies are shared, more detail is learned about each others likes and dislikes etc. Third which can be included in the second phase so to speak is courtship. Then it is generally known that the only reason the man is pursing the woman is that he desires to marry her and feelings are mutual, but now formalities need to be worked out. Talk to parents, the proposal and engagement ring etc. Culture may determine much of these things. Then comes planning the wedding and date. Then the wedding and many customary things. Then they consulate the marriage. The two are one.
- Men, we are idiots. Really, I mean it. We are stupid. Born stupid and strangers in this world. We need God to not hide His will for us in courtship. Psalm 119:19. God gave us the Song of Songs to help us be skilled in holy Biblical courtship. Use the first 3 chapters to guide you in courtship. Read 20 principles of courtship to help guide you.
This is the desire of her heart. This could be your prayer to God. Your asking God to show His love to you through your husband over and over again because knowing the character of your husband gives you pleasure and delight like smelling pleasing perfume.
God wants your husband to love you as Christ loves the Church. It is God’s will. Now for you to desire God’s will is a good thing. God desires for you to experience His love through your spouse and you desire it as well.
So ask for God to show His Love to you through your husband who is the authority in the marriage, represented by Solomon being king. King in Song 1:4 is to give the idea of authority. The husband makes the final decisions guided by Scripture, the wife obeys out of love, the husband is a type of king in the marriage, a wise good and loving king. Your husband is a type of king. Think of him as the one God wants you to listen to and obey. Wives submit to your husbands Eph. 5:23. Not that he is your king and you are the slave by force, but you should gloriously illustrate our delightful submission to Christ in marriage by your delightful submission to your husband who is submitting to God. Thus the wife obeys God in the marriage when she listens to her husband. She sins when she doesn’t listen. Wife, you must confess you sin to God and if you have not listened to your husband you must confess to him as well. No matter how hard it is you must confess. A godly man would love to hear your voice for it is most sweet when you confess. Confession of sin is a great show of love to God for God wants you to confess. But also you husband see’s your love for him and is humbled by it. Confess, look to the cross, see his love there, experience his love in forgiveness as you see Christ bearing your sins, know that you old self of disobeying your husband or usurping his authority are over, he is your wise king now and God gives you all the power of the Holy Spirit to enable you to show your love to your husband.
So the bride desire to experience God’s love through Solomon, who she is happy to make king over her life because his holy character. As she expresses her desires you, express your own in a similar way…
Oh God, “Let him/my husband kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
for Your love is more delightful than wine.”
Then you think of the character of your husband/Husband and the pleasantness of smelling perfume and draw a comparison between the two and speaking now to your husband you say
3 “Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
your name is like perfume poured out.”
No wonder the young women love you!
Now having his pleasing character in mind you desire a closer more intimate relationship with your king/husband that you say,
4 “Draw me after you —let us hurry!”
Then you king/husband/ takes you into his chambers for he also desires a closer more intimate relationship with you. Expressing your satisfaction and delight and lost in his love you say.
“The king has bought me into his chambers.”
Which could be your own for application, just think of you and your husband whom you desire affection from and though not perfect, you delight in what is morally excellent about him and his good name is like perfume poured out, you desire to have him as king over your life and to be drawn into a closer more intimate relationship with him because he has a good name and his love is more delightful than any else under the sun.
You just can’t say the young women love your husband. Solomon was single when the women adored him, May this was a time when you had feelings for you hubby but weren’t dating yet and other girls adored your future husband. It would be right for them to adore a man of character but you can’t say this about your husband now. It would not be right for other women to adore your husband and desire closer intimacy with him. He’s married now, but back then they could desire Solomon as much as the bride to be did. Song 1:4. I desire to say so much more but will hold back. Now onto the application of the principles of the text to the “bride to be.”
Bride to be
Single ladies out there. This is for you. Are you a bride to be, Lord willing. Are you a single woman but married to Christ, then this is for you!
- Pray for God to send you a man of good character because you have tasted God’s love in salvation through your heavenly Husband, Christ. And now you want to experience it more in marriage to a believer.
- Have in mind as you pray, that if you are to be married, then God will bring him around. But for now you pray Lord willing. Express your desire earnestly and don’t stop. I know it sounds funny, but you must be content in Christ alone while desiring marriage.
- You must be saved and growing. No godly man is going to intentionally marry a non believer. Be reading your Bible and obeying God and praying and waiting patiently.
Application for the Bride of Christ, Believers
Christ is greater than Solomon Matt. 12:42. We argue from the lesser christ to the Greater. However so great her desire for Solomon was, it still falls short of how great our desire for Christ ought to be.
- “Let Christ show me His love over and over again.” Never stop praying like the bride in the Song. Or Moses, “Show me your glory” or “the one thing I desire..to behold the beauty of the Lord” Ps. 27:4. When you stop praying its because you stopped desiring. You stopped desiring because you got prideful. She desired to be loved by the greatest type of Christ living because his love was more delightful than wine. How much more so is Christ’s love to be desired by us. We ought to want that Pearl more than she desired Solomon. We ought to Love Christ no matter what and give up all sin in order to have that closer more intimate relationship with God in Christ. Never stop praying for your love relationship with God. Pray, Let God show me His affection over and over to me in Christ. May I understand and know Christ’s love to me over and over again. Bigger and bigger waves of mercy and waves of Grace. Enlarge my heart to view Christ Greater and clearer. Shed Your love abroad in my heart as I see my many sins forgiven at the cross.
- Pray for all the saints to experience this love. Pray like Paul in Ephesians 3:16-21 (I modified it to apply to all believers) I pray LORD, that according to your glorious riches that you would strengthen us with power through Your Spirit in our inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith. And I pray that we, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—as we behold His Matchless Glory and Infinite Beauty at the cross, that we may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God in Christ.
- Get to know Christ, experiential knowledge not just intellectual knowledge so that your desire for Him grows. “Kiss” the Son lest He be angry with you. We are born under God’s wrath. He is angry with sinners. Oh, sinner accept God’s love for you at the cross. Look to Jesus! He is infinitely Beautiful! Most delightful to behold!! Take your sins to the cross and see His love for and Grace to you!! May your desire for Christ grow oh wretched man that you are, so that you desire more and more of Him. Those who know Christ’s Name with trust Him. Read your Bible to get to know God in Christ. No ones love is more desirable than the love of Christ for His Name is better than perfume poured out. Oh, thirsty deer, panting for streams of water. Gaze into His eyes overflowing with love, peaceful and refreshing to gaze upon. To experience God’s love through Christ is better than any other experience. Read John to get to know that Jesus is the Son of God, the messiah. Desire Christ. If you think something is missing in your life it because either you aren’t saved or your a Christian continuing in sin and have forgotten how good it feels to be walking obediently as possible. Desire Christ. Desire more of Him. He satisfies the greatest hunger and you need no money. Desire Christ!! His will only in your life. Desire to experience a deeper more intimate relationship with God through Christ. Desire more holiness. Desire more love. Desire Christ!! He wants you to experience His love more than you do. He is Jealous over you with a Godly Jealousy. He will draw you nearer for he loves you Jer. 31:3 and you are one with Him in Christ.
Jer. 31:3 The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
4. Bring all your current and past sins to the cross often in order to see God’s love and grace greater and greater. When you sin and are convicted of it, immediately think of Jesus suffer for the sin you committed and past sins, all your sin. Jesus loved you and proved it by paying the penalty for you sin. He suffered the Wrath of God in your place. Oh, to behold the Beauty of Christ at the cross! His holiness at the cross. His obedience and infinite love to God on display. Jesus is altogether Beautiful, there is none like Him!! Greater revelations of Christ is what your after. Think of all your sin and then while asking and receiving higher and clearer thoughts of God. Now you have higher thoughts of God by meditating on the glorious spender of His Majesty and His wondrous works in your salvation.
Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.
I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.
I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.
If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28
I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.
If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.
Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.
About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.
As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.
Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.
I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.
I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.
I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.
I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.
I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.
I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.
California at age 26.
I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.
One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.
By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.
I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."
So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.
After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.
I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.
I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.
I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.
The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.
About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.
I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.
Then this life changing advice came:
A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.
In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.
I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.
About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.
I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.
So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.
I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.
Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.
About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.
Then a mission trip to Croatia.
Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.
About 3 years saved now.
I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.
Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.
I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.
Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.
My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!
I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.
God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.