The “Baby” spiritually speaking.
The Babe or the Courtship section of the Song of Songs.
Learning Chapter 1:2-2:7
I say courtship because viewed as a story in “Song of Songs” 1:2-3:5 has principles for biblical courtship HERE demonstrated by the ultimate wisest suitor who ever lived.
Also, Song 1:2-2:7 is an excellent illustration of the babe phase (1 John 2:12-14) in spiritual growth. Solomon masterfully illustrated this for us in loving his wife through the ups and downs of life in the context of courtship and marriage.
1. Verse: Song 1:2 “your love is more delightful than wine”
Explanation: The immature enslaved servant girl is wanting Solomon to kiss her multiple times because his godly love is more “delightful” than wine. There is no physical pleasure here in the soul. The kiss she wants in the future. Her delight in his love is now! And she wants to experience more of it. Delight is an emotion of the heart an act of the will, delighting in what the mind understand to be good wether perceived or real. Some have this delight in God others who do not have the “flame of God” (Song 8:6 NASB)in them have not experienced God’s love through a Mediator. The babe has tasted the goodness and love of God thus enflaming her desire for more and convincing her mind that understanding God’s love to her is better than anything else. Therefore it is more delightful than wine. All other delights fail in comparison, so she chooses his love.
The Babe in Christ has tasted God’s love it is more delightful than wine or anything else in life for that matter. Psalm 63:3 “Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise you.” He is pleased with and accepts your prayer and praise, Psalm 69:29 But I am afflicted and in pain; May Your salvation, O God, set me securely on high.
30 I will praise the name of God with song
And magnify Him with thanksgiving.
31 And it will please the Lord better than an ox
Or a young bull with horns and hoofs.
Their is mutual delight in each other’s love. Compare Song 1:2-4 with Song 4:10. She delights in experiencing his, He delights in loving her because experiencing his dying sacrificial love over and over again is where she is happiest and growing the fastest. The soul doesn’t want to waist any time getting closer to the One her heart loves. Though you may feel it differently sometimes, it is true you desire the closest most intimate relationship with Christ because experiencing His Love, His Spirit filling me is more delightful than anything else. Beholding His Beauty, which is His Holiness and the certainty of it Holy, Holy, Holy, in the face of Christ. Surely Holiness consists in Love to God. Christ’s Love to God is His Beauty. See His Beauty and it transforms you into His beautiful image from one level of Glory to another. She and you are wanting sanctification by beholding His Beauty and Glory over and over again. Experiencing this sanctifying love by beholding the beauty of Her Lover. This beholding draws out the affections of a prospective or real lover. There is an attraction to that beauty, to that holiness. Beholding that Beauty of Jesus is His way of beautifying us. Making us more holy by tasting and seeing His Beauty. Tasting in the heart God’s delight in you. God’s delight is His love. God is Love. God Loves His Idea of Himself which is His Son. God Loves the Son and glorifies Him by beautifying His Church and presenting Jesus Christ with a Virgin Bride. This transformation into the virgin bride happens as we with “unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” 2 Cor. 3:18
You have tasted it in thinking about God’s love for you, in reading your bible, in fellowship with other Christians, serving in your local church, prayer, fasting, obedience, in communion, witnessing, repentance and even in the tears and sorrow of confession, there is joy, delight and the assurance of knowing Jesus paid the penalty for your sins. Because you are a new creation these are your new delights, yea, MORE delightful than the sin you used to take pleasure in. Now your delight is in listening and obeying this is your new life.
Application: Continue in this to the full assurance of your salvation. Continue in whatever God is revealing to you in His word. Be faithful in little he has shown you and he will give you more. A physical baby knows that others are bigger, stronger, walking, and talking not like them. This is okay everyone had to start somewhere. Faithful Abraham, humble Moses, the mighty warrior David, the wise Solomon, the great missionary Paul and John the one Jesus loved, all started right where you are.
2. Verse: “let him kiss me with the KISSES”
Explanation: The babe also wants to experience more of it. She has experienced Solomon’s general love for she was in his kingdom. But this was not enough she wanted union with him in marriage. Song 1:2-4 She has tasted God’s love to her through Solomon, therefore she wants more of it!! So, continue to always ask God to show you his love through Christ our mediator and pray for a close intimate relationship with Him always. Get addicted to understanding all the ways God has shown and will show you His Love because this experience is better than wine. It’s better than any other earthly pleasure. Psalm 136 “His love endures forever”, this phrase is repeated over and over again.
Application: She doesn’t want it to stop. Neither should you! Pray this early in the morning, Psalm 92:2 “proclaiming your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night”
Application: Make this your “One thing” Psalm 27:4. Isn’t God sooooo wonderful to give us a verse that says “One thing” the Psalmist desires. Not various things, one thing. One thing ought to be your desire
3. Once the goodness of God is tasted and the heart makes seeing God’s beauty the one thing it desires then the closest most intimate relationship and strictest union with God is desired. The babe see’s that Solomon the perfectly wise and holy man could bring her that union the fastest. So her hearts desire is to be married to him so he could show her God’s love through him and she would be beholding the “one thing” she desires, the love of God reflected in Solomon’s love for her.
3. Verse: Song 1:4 “The upright adore him”
Explanation: In the light of God revealing His love to you in Scripture, through the actions of others to you and in your relationship with Him, you will see that it is right to honor and adore someone of a Godly Character. The upright adore godly characteristics in others. The babe realizes it is right to adore someone who’s love is more delightful than wine. This is a saved sinner with the flame of God in her, who is growing in her understanding of God’s love to her and then see’s that it is proper and fitting for the upright to adore Solomon because his love is more delightful than wine and his name is like perfume poured out. Seeing this simple truth will help you to understand the greater truth. How much more so should we adore Christ Himself, who’s unfailing love is exceedingly more delightful than any other delight!!
Application: Have adoring thoughts of Christ often.
4. Verse: “Dark am I like the tents of Kedar”
Explanation: The babe know’s that they are “Dark” a sinner 1:5 . You know you have neglected your past relationship with God (your vineyard 1:6). Before meeting Solomon and getting his help in 2:15 she could not catch these foxes so her vineyard produced no fruit. How dark do you see yourself? The babe keeps being convinced by God that they are sinful and dark. So the self talk or meditation is “Dark am I”. . What is lovely about you is your inner being. The image of God renewed in holiness. Holiness is your moral excellency given to you by God’s grace in Christ. This moral excellency or holiness is beautiful and lovely about your soul in Christ. This is true, so remind yourself of this by saying “Dark am I, yet lovely.” The longer you are a Christian the darker this dark will become to you. And the lovelier your holiness will get. Not that you will sin more but you will see more evil in your sin therefore more dark and therefore cling closer to your shepherd husband to save you from continuing in evil.
Application: Let this truth sink in often and see yourself dark, darker, real dark and then you think no one else is darker than I. Now to balance out your emotions you need to be reminded that you are lovely as well or you may get discouraged, legalistic or downcast etc
This is her confession to others of seemingly contradictory thoughts and feelings going on inside her new heart.
5. Verse “Lovely, like the tent curtains of Solomon”
- The babe also knows that they are lovely as well. (1:5) That their sins have been washed and they do fear drawing near to God sometimes. Yes, you are sinful and deserve punishment so feel the guilt but remember the love and grace of God/Jesus at the cross, this will keep you from condemning yourself.
- They have an increasing understand of the love of God thereby it is being perfected in them so that they will have no fear of punishment. (1 John 4) So they are fearless and swift in their battle against sin. Therefore Solomon gives her the compliment of a “mare harnessed to the chariots of pharaoh.” The compliments are particular to each stage of growth in holiness. Song 1:9 She is displaying a fearless, swift and beautiful pursuit of Solomon despite her feelings of rejection because the friends have reminded her of how to find Solomon by “following the tracks of the sheep”…
There is a clear break between desiring a close intimate relationship in 1:2-4 and overcoming fear in 1:5-8 then communion and fellowship 1:9-2:6 then a warning in 2:7. They are together for the first time in 1:9. She was wanting to be with him in 1:2-4. Then finds him by following the tracks of the sheep 1:8. This section goes from praises in 1:9,10 to experiencing the love of God through Solomon to the degree that she can’t handle it. Supported by his arms she faints in 2:5. You were created to glorify and enjoy God forever and here in 1:2-4 and 1:9-2:6 is simple yet the most delightful practice for the new believer.
- The “Mare harnessed to Pharaoh chariots” praise is in Song 1:9 . The main mark of a babe is to “not knowing” (1:7) so fearlessly pursuing a closer relationship with God and husband they are swift, waisting no time, drinking up doctrine and obeying new commands. This is much of the life of a new beleiver. Fearlessly “following the tracks of the sheep” 1:8. Following the sheep also requires a love and obedience to the commands of God. Therefore the “necklace” or “jewels” praise in 1:10. Solomon blesses and praises her in accordance with Prov. 1:9 and 31:28. So to speak the number of jewels on her necklace correlates with the number of commands written and obeyed in her heart. The babe is so hungry for growth that they drink up the word of God and His commands like milk so that they may grow by learning and obeying. The babe is much about this business because they have a new life and much to learn and repent of. How many Jewels do you have on your necklace?
- “He who has, to him more will be given.” Here is some great encouragement in 1:11! The basic idea is that Solomon see’s her as morally beautiful and he will make her more beautiful. She is holy and loves God ,Solomon, and others, which makes her beautiful and he will make her more holy and purify her love. The job of the shepherd husband is to wash her with the word and present her holy and blameless.
- From recieving praise for being fearless and swift in pursuit of a close relationship with the one her heart loves to describing her heart that has the commands of God written on it. This is beautiful like her wearing a necklace of commands and highly valuing precious promises like jewels. How many commands are written on your heart? Each one is a precious jewel in the sight of your husband, they make you beautiful!!
- Solomon did not reject her but accepted her with joy and delight. Praising her noble character because of the commands of God treasured in her heart. All of this reminds her of how valuable and precious Solomon is to her. She thinks he is worth dying for in order to have him close to her heart. Like “Myrrh” (Song 1:13) close to her bosom. At the time of the Song people died of dehydration trying to get myrrh from the dessert two months out of the year.
General directions for the babe.
- Don’t take the praise of the “mare harnessed to the chariots of pharaoh” unto yourself as if God or Christ is praising you unless you were actually scared to draw near to God because of your sin but overcame that fear because understanding God’s love, grace and forgiveness for you spurred you on. Or don’t think you have a longer more glorious necklace until you have consistently obeyed with delight new commandments. The principle is humility before honor and honor is not fitting for a fool, so if you don’t have a husband encouraging you on or are a single guy then just put yourself in her shoes and take the praise at the appropriate time. Any sooner an you may get to proud of your own righteousness.
- If you don’t know what level you are at in maturity then it’s always safe to start at the beginning and practice Song 1:2-4 then move on to Song 1:5-8 trying to be fearless and gaining more jewels on your neck. Then, if married, practice the simple short compliments, adoration, praise, highly esteeming of one another.
- The same Holy Spirit that is in you is also in the child, young man and father. Keep going to full assurance of faith and further. Stay obedient to what you know and grow in the love grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus as you see His love manifested in and through your husband, king, shepherd, savior and friend.
- Enter anywhere in the Song. Meaning if your conscience is clear. You have been drinking up the Word of God and obeying then take a praise or two, know you will be made even more beautiful, think your lover worth dying for in order to have close to your heart (1:12)
- If in sin, get help from friends, pray and follow the track of the sheep fearlessly, believe in Christ, confess and repent. Weep and mourn as it comes.
- Don’t use unbiblical means to stir up a closer relationship with the one you love. (2:7)
- You can meditate on Song 1:9-2:6 and be lead by Solomon in a mutual love, adoration, highly valuing one another, basically sweet fellowship or communion with the one you love anytime you have a clear conscience and aren’t living in any unconfessed or unrepentant sin. It would be impossible to take on the praise of having a neck and cheeks beautiful with earrings and jewels when not repentant or cherishing a sin or feeling condemnation because of fear of punishment.
Although she is a babe with the flame of God in her (Song 8:6), this section is also for any stage of growth. This section is cycled through just as much in the babe phase as it is in the child, you woman and father with this difference. The truths are repeated in various lengths, degrees and frequencies throughout each stage of growth in holiness. You will be learning this concept now to some degree, but it will become clearer and clearer to you as you grow. There are many very precious pearls in scripture, knowledge alone puffs up, but God wants you to do something with the knowledge you have gained so love, adore, praise, value, esteem, exalt and delight in Him more and love others as yourself thus edifying them. Blessed are those who listen, learn and obey.
Go here for a further explanation of how Song 1:2-2:7 is repeated in greater lengths, degree’s and frequencies as she matures.
Child phase, young man, strong young man and father are coming Lord willing.
Verses For Babes
Genesis, Exodus, Psalms, Proverbs, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John,
Song of Songs 1:2-2:7
Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.
I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.
I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.
If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28
I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.
If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.
Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.
About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.
As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.
Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.
I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.
I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.
I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.
I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.
I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.
I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.
California at age 26.
I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.
One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.
By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.
I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."
So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.
After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.
I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.
I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.
I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.
The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.
About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.
I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.
Then this life changing advice came:
A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.
In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.
I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.
About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.
I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.
So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.
I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.
Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.
About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.
Then a mission trip to Croatia.
Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.
About 3 years saved now.
I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.
Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.
I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.
Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.
My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!
I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.
God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.