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Lesson 2 God’s Better Wine

Watch the video or read the notes or both:

Lesson 1

Never stop asking to experience the Love of God through Christ!

Lesson 2

Experience the delightful love of God so that you want more of it!

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Song of Songs 1:2  “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine.”

If we know the ways God demonstrates His love to us and the ways He loves us then we will understand and delight in His love more than anything else.  Here are some ways God’s love is shown to us, demonstrated, manifested or experienced by us.  In this verse we notice the HIGH VALUE she place on His Love.  It is more delightful than any other experience therefore His Love hold inestimable value because she was an enemy sinner in slavery.  “No Greater love….  John 15:13  When Jesus loves His enemies!  There is a greater value placed on the Love of King Jesus prince of peace.  Jesus can bring peace where their was enmity and hatred on both sides.

  1. We experience His Love in that He sent His Son for us. His love in sending His Son  John 3:16  God sent His Son for our Good.  This is a Huge Kiss.  God sent His Son.  God gave something that was His to us.  He sent His Son to be our Husband.  He sent His Son, His love is demonstrated or put on display or manifested to us by His sending His One and Only eternally begotten Son.
  2. 15193306 - a man making a confession to the cross, shot under dawn sky
    “God demonstrates His love to us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us” Romans 5:8

    2.  Christ obeyed the Father.  Jesus loved the Father,  Jesus loved us.  Christ died for us.  Jesus Christ kissed the Father and us.  Christ showed or demonstrated His Love to the Father and us by dying for us. “The obedience he performed was with infinitely greater love to God and regard to his authority than the angels perform their obedience. The angels perform their obedience with love that is perfect, with sinless perfection. But Christ did not only do so, but he performed his obedience with much greater love than the angels do theirs, even infinite love. For though the human nature of Christ was not capable of love absolutely infinite, yet Christ’s obedience that performed in that human nature is not to be looked on as merely the obedience of the human, but the obedience of his person as God-man, and there was infinite love of the person of Christ manifest in that obedience. And this together with the infinite dignity of the person that obeyed rendered his obedience infinitely meritorious.”

  3. We experience God’s Love in God in His working all things together for us to be conformed to the image of His Son.  These kisses we receive daily!!  Romans 8:28-29, Song 1:10-11, John 17:17
  4. His love in intercession  Hebrews 7:25
  5. We will experience His Love in the future. “Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world].” Matthew 25:34. This sentence shall be pronounced with infinite love , and the voice will be most sweet, causing every heart to overflow with joy.  Let us look forward to this kiss of love!
  6. His love to the world, but especially believers.
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    “God demonstrates His love in sending His Son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life!

    “That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.”  Jesus is saving all non believers, all living sinners from Hell.  By His Grace and Love, non Christians experience the Love of Jesus everyday in saving them from Hell.  They deserve it now and they are not getting what they deserve.  They are getting Mercy.  Jesus is saving them from the punishment of their sins.  Especially believers!!  Believers will be save forever, but the non believer is saved only temporarily from their sin.  Believers also experience deliverance from continuing is sin.  In this ways they get “especially” saved.  Jesus makes His children more holy and disciplines them not like the non believer.

  7. God’s love is experienced by both the evil and the good.  God love in sending rain is experienced by all.  Out of God’s love He “causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” Mat. 5:45

 

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Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength because loving Him is better and more delightful than any other experience!

God’s better wine experienced in our kisses of Love to Him in the ten commandments:

  1. Putting God first is better than putting self first.  We kiss the Son, when we put God first!
  2. Right idea’s of God are more delightful than wrong one’s.  We kiss the Son when we repent of our low view of God.  Job 42:5-6
  3. Using the Lord’s Name with reverence is better than swearing
  4. Finding our joy and delight in God is better than sin.  Going to church is better than staying at home.
  5. Honoring authority is better than dishonoring them.
  6. Loving your neighbor is better than hating them.  Giving life is better than Murder.
  7. Staying pure in heart is more delightful than lusting.
  8. Giving is more delightful than receiving. Do not steal but give!
  9. Telling the Truth is better and more delightful than lying.
  10. Not coveting is more delightful than coveting
  1. Faith in Christ for salvation is better than dead works done out of fear of punishment.
  2.  Love is better than Hate.
  3. Patience is better than impatience.
  4. Worship music is more delightful than secular
  5. Reading your Bible in spare time is better than a novel
  6. Early prayer time is better than sleep
  7. Fasting over sin is more spiritually delightful than physical delight in food
  8. Obedience is better than sacrifice.  Obedience out of love is better than works out of fear of punishment.
  9. Believing truth is better than believing lies
  10. Trusting God and His promises is more delightful than doubting and unbelief.
  11. Humbling yourself is better than prideful thinking
  12. Planing good is more delightful than planning evil.
  13. Wisdom is better than and more delightful folly
  14. Worship in Spirit and Truth is better than lip service
  15. Experiencing His Love is better than drugs, sex, money and status.
  16. Trust is more delightful than worry.
  17. Losing your life in this world is better than keeping it!
  18. Having purpose and meaning in life is better than searching for it.

 

Charles Spurgeon “Christ’s love is better than wine because of what it is not:

· It is totally safe, and may be taken without question – you can’t take too much.

· It doesn’t cost anything.

· Taking more of it does not diminish the taste of it.

· It is totally without impurities and will never turn sour.

· It produces no ill effects.

Christ’s love is better than wine because of what it is:

· Like wine, the love of Christ has healing properties.

· Like wine, the love of Christ is associated with giving strength.

· Like wine, the love of Christ is a symbol of joy.

· Like wine, the love of Christ exhilarates the soul.”

 

Gods loves us and we love Him because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19  This experience of God’s loving us and us loving Him is more delightful than any other experience. This love can’t be quenched and death could not stop it.  Song 8:6  This love is the Very Flame of the Lord.   God’s love in Christ “is as strong as death,
Jealousy is as severe as Sheol;
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
The very flame of the Lord.”  Song 8:6

Context of the Song of Songs

The Song of Songs illustrates God’s love to His enemies through a mediator, the King to whom peace belongs.  Meant to be argued from the lesser christ Solomon to the greater anti-type Christ Matt. 12:42.  If you are a believer then you are the bride and Jesus Christ is the Bridegroom wooing us closer to a more intimate relationship with Himself by His love. Jeremiah 31:3  The Song is about growing closer to God through the experience of His love to greater and greater degree’s.  You will love Him deeper by experiencing his love.  Taste and see that the Lord is Good!

Context of the Section 1:2-2:7

We are studying Song 1:2 which is in the Baby Phase of the Christian life.  The context of Song 1:2 goes to Song 2:7.  The context is that of an unsatisfied Christian life to a satisfied one.  From feeling separated from God to being close to Him.  From having experienced His love to some degree but yearning for greater experiences to full enjoyment of Christ in His arms. Song 2:5-6  She goes from being a dissatisfied Christian to fully satisfied in Christ alone.

Context of Song of Solomon 1:2

She is hungering and thirsting for the experience of God’s love and grace through Christ because she has tasted it and it is better than any other pleasure. She is not satisfied with the level of closeness she has with the one she loves and wants to be closer because being closer is better than any other experience.

So by learning these lesson you will get closer to God through Christ by experiencing His love to greater and greater degree’s than before.  From feelings of separation or abandonment to the full enjoyment of union and communion with God through Christ.  We think, feel and do what she does and we will draw nearer to God.

First lets review the Text

Song of Songs 1:2  “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine.”

“Let”=  This is a request from her King and the One her heart loves.  A prayer request and also her desire.  She is asking for more of what she already has.  She has tasted and experienced His love so she asks for more of it from her King.

Let “Him”= We ask God to show us His love through Christ.  Or Jesus to show us love over and over again.  Let King Jesus, my Savior, show me His love.

Let Him “kiss”=  A kiss is a way in which we express love to someone.  A kiss is a show of affection toward to one we love.  Love delights in the happiness of the object of its affection.  The one we love delight to be shown love.  They are happy when they get a kiss from the One they love.  When an affectionate Kiss is shown or experienced by us from God it is more delightful than any other experience.

Let Him kiss “me”=  I the sinner, me the unworthy one, I need forgiveness, I need cleansing.   I want Him to show me affection.  This is her desire.  Her prayer request.  She is the one hungering and thirsting for affection from Him.

With the “kisses”=  Plural, she wants multiple kisses.  Not just one but many.  Her soul hungers for His love to be experienced by her over and over again.

kisses of His “Mouth”  Jesus Christ, 100% God and 100% man, her King, Her Lord, Her Savior, Her Husband.  She wants Him to kiss her tenderly.  From His mouth. With compassion and mercy and grace and personal.  For a King to kiss a servant enemy slave girl needing redemption would be the greatest show of love ever possible on this earth!  In the situation she was in, she couldn’t have asked for something greater. She was an enemy.  Greater love has no one than this that Jesus Christ laid down His life so that His enemies could be his friends.  (Now she is an enemy 1 Kings 9:20-21 and Song 1:6 in slavery, and Song 1:7 she is beside the flock of His friends.  Not in His flock but beside it.)

Why does she want these kisses over and over again?

She wants His kisses because experiencing His love is better than any other experience in life.  Ps. 63:3  “Your love is more delightful than wine”  or some versions “Better than wine”  We listed above many ways God’s love is more delightful than any other experience.

Homework:

Pray and ask God to experience the better delight of a love relationship with Him through Jesus Christ.  Go through the ways that God loves us and remind yourself of them daily.  See how it feels to know God loves us through Christ.  Taste and see that the Lord is good.  Feel and experience the greater delights.  All day experience what it is like to experience obedience verses disobedience.  Experience prayer with God.  Get hooked on the feeling so that you ask for it more.  His love is more delightful than any other experience!!  Ask God to let you experience His Love then experience it so that you want more of it, because it is better than any other experience.  Having a growing love relationship with God is better than anything else in life!!  Growing in holiness only makes us happier in Christ!  Growing in Love to God is the same as growing in delight in God!  Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart, which is more holiness and love to Him and others!

 

Application:

Application for the sinner continuing in sin.  You have not tasted the special love of God that is in giving your life to Him, forsaking your sin and believing you will get to heaven because of what Jesus did for you.  You are under the wrath of God, you are in unbelief, not born again, destined for the lake of fire.  God hates those who continue in sin and iniquity. Psalm 5:5 and 11:5.  You do not delight in doing good but delight in evil. Proverbs 2:14.  You have not a new heart Ez. 36:26, but God can give you a new one.  A heart that delights in the experience of the Love of God and loving others!  God can forgive you of all your sins.  Of every time you delighted in evil, God will forgive you and not be angry with you because He poured out His anger on Jesus at the cross.  You deserve to go to hell forever for disobeying God and finding delight in sin.  You were created to enjoy God and glorify Him forever but you haven’t.  Confess your sins, turn from evil and do good.  Read your Bible daily and obey!  Judgement day is coming soon.  Repent and believe in Jesus today and He will give you new delights.  A delight in Holiness and righteousness!

Application for the believer that has fallen back.  Application for the backslider.  You once delighted in doing good.  You once delighted in going to church, reading your Bible and obeying.  You used to love to witness and pray.  You used to love to worship.  But you have fallen back into a life of sin.  Think of where you used to be and go back to the works you did at first!  You have lost your first love and now go back.  Ask God to forgive you and grant you repentance.  You are finding misery and pain in sin.  God is disciplining you and you are not listening.  He is calling you today to come back.  He has open arms of tender love and affection for the returning sinner like the Father to the prodigal son.  Go back to your Father of Love, Grace and Forgiveness.  Listen to your conscience, do not ignore it or something very bad may happen.  Hell is for those who continue in sin!!

Application for the believer continuing in delighting in the Lord!!  Continue abiding in Him  as He abides in you, keep keeping on doing His commandments!  Do not fall back.  You know what it is like to fall back and how hard it is to recover.  Do not fall back again.  Better to stay faithful than fall back.  Press on.  Grow even more!  Give thanks for how far the Lord has brought you!!  Remember what it was like before Christ when you delighted in sin and the Lord saved you.  He gave you new delights and now they are even better than before.  It just keeps getting better!  Keep seeing yourself more sinful and the love of Christ greater.  Don’t forget “Dark am I, yet Lovely in Christ”  Thank you Lord Jesus for giving us new delights in your love!!

 

 

 

Other verses on things that are better:

Romans 1:32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
Ephesians 5:18 says, “Be not drunk with wine … but be filled with the Spirit,”

 

Some people say that the Christian life is boring and may even make fun of them thinking that they are wasting their life not having fun.  Their definition of fun is partying Friday and Saturday night, drinking, doing drugs, having premarital sex.  And they are partially right.  The only pleasure a non-believer can have is in doing sinful things.  They have no delight in experiencing God’s love.  God’s love makes people more holy and more like Jesus Christ.  The unbeliever does not want to be more holy or live life based on Love to God and others, nor do they take delight in telling other’s the Gospel and that they need to repent.  Nor do they take delight in time away for secret prayer for the salvation of their friends and family.  Nor will they take delight in fasting in order to get closer to God.

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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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