Ever wonder what to say to the one you want to marry? How would a wise man in the Bible propose to his wife? Here’s how…
My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my love,
my beautiful one, come with me.” Song of Solomon 2:10
1 This is what we are supposed to “listen” to. Here how and in what a sweet manner he proposes to her in. In the previous verses she wanted us to look at her eager beloved wanting to see her and to join in with her at this time of love and listen to what he says. Now we get to here what he says, for she says,
“My beloved spoke and said to me…”
2 She invites us to know what it felt like to have her beloved propose to her so the poem is written in the first person from her perspective. So you could read the whole proposal over again with the idea that here you have the man of every woman’s dreams showing up to her house to propose. How would she feel?
3 The last half of this verse is repeated 2x. “Arise, my love,
my beautiful one, come with me.” This repetition does many things. First, It makes for a good song to sing. Often times things in songs are repeated. In the Hebrew this would have sounded very beautiful.
2nd It’s really important. The repetition not only sounds good but also gives us the impression that what is being said is really important.
3rd the repetition drives the ideas in the verse deeper into our mind. The truths get more engraved upon our heart. More memorable.
4th Not only is the phrase “Arise, my love,
my beautiful one, come with me.” Repeated in 2:11 and 2:13 but the same idea is repeated in the same sentence.
4 Notice also verse 2:11 where her dream suitor says “see the winter is past…” He asks her to “arise and come away with her” because it is a time for love. A time for engagement and marriage. Why? For the lovebirds are cooing and spring is in the air. A. He doesn’t propose because its spring and turtle doves are cooing. If you read it as is and literally it looks like the reason she should arise and come away with him is because
He proposes because they are in love and it’s time for love meaning a further commitment and a closer relationship so he proposes. So its time for love, two people to come together and be one. Like in conception two different beings become one, so also in marriage two become one.
4. Take note that “arise” and “come with me” are two ideas that are connected. He wants her to “arise” and “come with me” If she arises, it is to go with him. He has a purpose in asking her to arise. To arise and come with him. Her arising has a purpose and it is to leave father and mother and be joined to him in marriage. She is to arise so that she can leave and cleave to him. She is to arise so that she can “lean on her beloved“. Earlier when she fell in love with him at first sight and smell she wanted him to “Draw her to himself in a hurry” 1:4 and now he is asking her to do what she wanted. I love this because if we love Jesus everything He asks us to do is what we want or delight in in the inner man. Romans 7:22 “For in my inner being I delight in God’s law” Her inner most being wants, desires and longs to go away with him and now the man of her dreams is asking her to “arise and come away with him“
5. If she were to accept his proposal to arise and go away with him that means that her father is no longer the leader or her authority in the relationship. Her husband would be the leader. Her will will not be her own be she gives herself to him to be his and he gives himself to be hers. This is why the father gives the daughter to the man at weddings. Yet, sometimes the father wants to much say in the relationship after marriage. Sometimes even the mother still wants say in the marriage. In an Armenian marriage the mother of the bride will break plates at the wedding. The breaking of the plates symbolizes the breaking of the relationship the mother had with the daughter. The mother of the bride can’t control things anymore but has to now “shut up” as some have said to me.
Due to the idea of leaving and cleaving symbolism in marriage is often used
In Judaism the breaking of plates is a symbolic rending of mother-child ties and an acknowledgment that soon their children will be feeding each other. Breaking the glass also has sexual connotations, as it prefigures the release of sexual union, which is not only permitted to married couples but also required of them.
Either way the idea is the same, it is that of leaving one and cleaving to another.
7 In his proposal he calls her two different things. He calls her “my love” and “my beautiful one“. She is not a woman he hates and thinks is ugly or deformed but she is his love and he takes notice of her matchless beauty as he proposes to her.
Listen! My beloved!
Look! Here he comes,
leaping across the mountains,
bounding over the hills.
9 My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.
Look! There he stands behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
peering through the lattice.
10 My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, come with me.
11 See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
12 Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me.” Solomon’s Song of Songs 2:8-13
Her dream man guided by wisdom and in love uses sweet words to overcome her insecurities and draw her closer at the right time.
He most wisely and skillfully overcomes any illegitimate fears with his sweet words. He is jealous for her affections and wants to give himself to her and her to give herself to him. His words are thought out and very beautiful!! Isn’t it nice, thank God that He gave us stupid men an example to follow of how to propose.
Remember she was dark and sunburnt back in Song 1:5-6 due to being a slave in the field. She may have easily thought that her outward appearance or low rank in the world may keep her from him. He assures her that his love to her enables him to overlook not only her outward darkness but her inward as well and that to him she is his “beautiful one“.
Many things can keep two people apart. A woman could have a whole host of insecurities. Some may be legitimate concerns and other’s may not matter at all. The whole Love Song is about how two people overcome great difficulties in order to get closer together and here in his proposal he uses great skill like a gazelle on mountain tops to ease her insecurities and draw her closer to himself and take her away with him as she desired earlier on in the Song.
What insecurities to you have that keep you from the one you love?
Are they legitimate and have Biblical foundations? Like either person having wrong “core” non negotiable truths about God, Jesus Christ and the way of salvation.
Or are they illegitimate like believing the other person should look a certain way or be a certain height etc.
What are some legitimate fears a woman should have?
1 Having wrong beliefs about who Jesus Christ, the Son of God, second Person of the Trinity. If one person believes that Jesus was just a prophet, just a man or an angel and not God in the flesh then their should be legitimate concerns on both sides. A truly beautiful and holy mind believes that Jesus Christ is the Messiah, the Son of God. God in flesh. John 1:1-12. The doctrine or truths about the Trinity must be the same or the marriage won’t honor God. For Jesus is God and both must have a right idea of God in order for the union to please him.
2 In order for for a Christian marriage to work both must believe that they can’t get to heaven by doing good works but get to heaven because of the good Jesus did that is credited to their account. If a Christian woman who thinks she is saved by the person and work of Jesus Christ asks a Christian man or so called Christian man “Why do you think you should get to heaven?” And he thinks he is saved by his own person and so called good works then she should not let any of her feelings go towards such a man for such a mans faith is in himself and not in Christ. And vise versa. The object of their faith ought to be Jesus and what he has done for them. Oh Christian, date only those who know they are not good, but that know they are poor, blind and wretched sinners. Deserving of hell but get heaven by God’s grace. Do not get yoked to a non believer.
If she is not a Christian and he is then this is a legitimate concern that must be addressed before engagement. I also believe that “missionary dating” as its called is also unbiblical. Meaning that a man should not date a woman hoping she will give her life to Christ. She must be in love with Christ first before any dating or courtship.
3. A third legitimate or Biblical reason to not proceed into engagement is if the person is in the stages of “Church discipline”. If a person is continuing in unrepentant sin which is proof that Jesus is not their Lord. A person who continues in sin thinking it is okay after a brother confronts them should not get married to another person who has accepted Jesus into their heart as Lord. If you accepted Jesus into your heart as Lord then that means that He rules in your heart. If Jesus rules in your heart and He is your Savior then He will be saving you from of life of sin as well.
In Matthew 18:15-17 it says,
15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.“
Step one of restoring a sinning brother is to confront them “privately” and not gossip about it.
Step two is if they don’t listen then take another person with you and the two of you confront them about their continuing in disobedience to Jesus, not showing love to Jesus, unrepentant sin.
Step three. If they still aren’t willing to confess that sin, trust Jesus paid for it and repent to some degree or another depending on the sin. For sins of the heart like pride, selfishness and unbelief cant fully be eradicated or mortified until we die. Then you tell their sin to the elders. Then the elders go lovingly to the sinning brother and implore him to repent.
Step four according to the text. If they still don’t change their sinful belief or action then they are disciplined out of the church and treated as a non believer. Granted most churches do not do steps 2, 3 or 4 because most churches think obeying the Bible in this respect is unloving. But this is the most loving thing you can do.
A mans job or role in marriage is to love his wife. Imagine a man not loving his wife then a brother loving confronts him and tells him he should start loving his wife even in the bad times because God would want him to and the man doesn’t care. A man living in one sin is more than likely living in other’s and will not love his wife as Christ faithfully loved His Bride!!
Let me put it another way. When proposing he calls her “my love” he loves her and she loves him. She loves him because of his good reputation or “name” Song 1:3. A man continuing in unrepentant sin after someone loving confronts him is not a man of a good reputation. But is rather characterized by being stiff-necked and sinful. Such a person who continues in sin will not enter heaven and does not have God’s seed in him. How could a truly holy and godly woman love a man continuing in sin. (unless she was a hypocrite or not in true holy love but infatuated with him). She may have a true love of benevolence to him but not a “love of complacency in his holiness” for their would be not real outward manifestation of a holy changed heart due to his continuing in sin. A love of complacency is the same as a delight in holiness. How could a woman have a delight in a mans holiness if he continues in sin and has no continued holiness to delight in and therefore no love of complacency in him. (“complacency”not meaning laziness but same nature) (if I am confusing you with my language then google “love of complacency”)
To the Christian
Jesus calls you to arise and come away with Him.
You have no need to fear anything.
No outward appearance should keep you from Him. Do you feel lowly and the least of the people. This is no hinderance to the Love of Christ toward you. Arise and go to him. Jesus is not prejudice nor does he make distinction as to who he will love and call to arise and go to him. He loves all!
No inward ugliness or sin should keep you from Him for you go to him as a sinner and He washes your feet. He cleanses your heart. He makes you beautiful like Himself. He takes your heart of stone out and gives you one that truly loves Him. So arise and go to him now!!
Now is the time for love. Now is the time that Jesus loves you and calls you closer to himself. He loves you. “Arise, my love.” He says with infinite sweetness! Arise out your sin and prove your love to your Heavenly Bridegroom. “Arise”. Arise for united to Jesus Christ by faith you are infinitely beautiful like him. He see’s you as you are “in Him” and makes you more like Him.
No sin is to great!! You need not fear going to hm for great sins like murder, adultery or stealing for He came to save great sinners! Are you a great sinner? Then go to Him. He says to you Arise out of your great sins and be a great and beautiful bride. Your wise and Loving heavenly Suitor says, “Arise, my love, my beautiful one and come with me”
No amount of sin is to great to keep him from you. No amount of continuing is sin is to much. So long as you have breathe nothing can separate you from the Love of God that is in Jesus Christ!!
How do you arise and go to Jesus?
1 You go to Him by confessing your sin. Oh bride of Christ, go to Him by confessing your sins. You know what you have done wrong. Tell them to Him. Confession is telling you sins to Jesus in your own words with a broken and contrite heart. God will not despise you in your confession of sin. He loves to hear your voice and confession but hates your sin. So arise and go to him and confess.
2 Trust that those sins you just confessed to Jesus are paid for by Him. Trust that those sins you committed that you know and don’t know were placed on Him on the cross and from noon to 3 He suffered. With your sins on his record God punished Jesus. He was sinless but bore your punishment for those sins that so grieve your heart. You deserve hell for your sins but Jesus felt the full punishment for them over 2,000 years ago and when He had fully paid them He said “it is finished“. God sent Him to pay the penalty for His brides sins and the Bridegroom paid the full price proving His love to the bride the Father gave Him. So Arise and go to Jesus trusting he paid for your sins.
If you do not trust that the sins you rightly feel guilty for were paid for then you will fear the punishment that comes with that guilt, or try to do good to make up for the bad or just think God is love and will forgive. True God is gracious and love and will forgive but not apart from Jesus. Your faith must be in Jesus Christ who is also God in the flesh who bore our sins in His body on the cross or your guilt and fear will keep you from arising and going to Him!
3 Arise and go to Him trusting that He makes you beautiful and holy by indwelling in you by the Power of the Holy Spirit in you. He makes you beautiful by crediting to your account His righteousness. All the good He did gets credited to your account as if you lived the life of Jesus and when you die God will treat you as if you lived His perfect life because He treated Jesus as if He lived your sinful life. “God made Jesus who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf that we might be credited the righteousness of God by faith in Christ.” My paraphrase of 2 Corinthians 5:21.
4 You go to Jesus your wise and infinitely loving Husband by leaving your sin. You arise and go to Jesus by leaving your life of sin. Divorce your sin. Write you sinful past life off and go to live a holy life united to Jesus! Cleanse your hands in the blood of Christ and by the power and Grace of God that works so mightily in you, live for Jesus. You arise and go to Jesus who loves you by reading your Bible and obeying it!!
How does this verse help us to see the power of the wise suitor’s love?
“For love is as strong as death” Song 8:5
Can we see the cruelty of the holy jealousy of the suitor?
For loves jealousy is as cruel as hell’s fire. Song 8:5-6
It would greatly hurt the suitor to not have the hand of the one he loves so he most wisely and sweetly proposes to her at the right time and right way.
Can we see the superlative fire in the heart of the great type of Christ to his soon to be finance? For love is a flame above all other flames, yeah, “the flame of God” Song 8:6
Can you see in the way that he proposes to her that his love will not be quenched for true love is unquenchable and “many waters cant quench it” Song 8:6
Can you see the great value of the love this suitor has? For love is priceless and “if a man were asked to give his whole household for love it would be utterly scorned.” Song 8:6
Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.
I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.
I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.
If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28
I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.
If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.
Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.
About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.
As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.
Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.
I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.
I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.
I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.
I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.
I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.
I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.
California at age 26.
I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.
One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.
By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.
I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."
So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.
After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.
I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.
I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.
I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.
The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.
About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.
I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.
Then this life changing advice came:
A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.
In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.
I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.
About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.
I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.
So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.
I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.
Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.
About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.
Then a mission trip to Croatia.
Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.
About 3 years saved now.
I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.
Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.
I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.
Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.
My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!
I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.
God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.