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Sweetest Proposal 2

My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.
    Look! There he stands behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
    peering through the lattice.” Solomon’s Song of Songs 2:9

Title: “The sweetest proposal” part 2 (Sweetest Proposal 1)

Arousal section of the Song summed up.

The first chapter of this love poem illustrates the king arousing the affections of the slave girl and we see her arousing his affections.  Now we get to the point where her beloved king proposes to her from outside her mother’s window.

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Conception section of the Love Poem summed up.

A point of this section is to illustrate the point that nothing can stop his sweet advances.  She will be drawn near sooner or later because it is true love.  He proposes and desires to here the sincerity of her heart as it relates to their blossoming relationship.  She wants his help in getting rid of all the foxes to be destroyed that keep the relationship from blossoming as it should.  In Love he gives himself to her for the sake of a closer more intimate relationship and she reciprocates.  She has a bad night thinking she has lost the one her heart loves but with some advice on where he is she finds him and holds him tighter than before.  Then they get married, he rejoices over her and they consummate the marriage or union by drinking their fill of love.

Our verse for today sits at the beginning of his proposal at at time when love is in the air.

Notice the superlative strength of his love to draw her closer.  The proposal is the first subsection of the conception phase.  Conception phase meaning a time when two become one.  When promises are made and wedding consummated.  Conception in the womb is when two different parts become one.  So also in engagement after their affections are aroused for each other and just at the right time he proposes, she learns to hold him tighter and they become one at the wedding.  So I call this the conception phase of their courtship.

So the theme of the Love Song is how two people get super close.  In this verse we see the soon to be finance propose to the poor yet beautiful girl.  What is it about him that draws her closer?

Two things that we can see about the suitor that draw out the affections of the bride to be.

1 The way he arrives.  2 The way he looks at her.

How does he arrive?

Listen! My beloved!
    Look! Here he comes,
leaping across the mountains,
    bounding over the hills.
My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.
    Look! There he stands behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
    peering through the lattice.”

So she wants us to hear the voice of her beloved as he comes closer to her.  First she wants us to listen and lets us know that who we are listening to is the one who loves her, her “beloved”.

We are to look at the manner in which he is coming closer to her.  He is doing it in a way in which great difficulties are easy to overcome because of his love and wisdom/skill like a gazelle on the mountaintops.  She see’s him in love and wanting a mate like a stag drawing near a mate.  Not even the greatest mountains can separate her from him.  So she makes a comparison.   He is like a gazelle or a young stag.  She see’s wisdom and power to overcome great obstacles in his pursuit of her “like a gazelle leaping across the mountains and bounding over the hills.”  So also, there is nothing Jesus can’t conquer in order to draw you closer to Him!!

After she makes the comparison she wants us to notice what he is doing that stirred up her affections in a way that got her excited to see him.

Here is a comparison between a suitor and Jesus.  Both are wanting to be one with the one they are courting,  He desires to give himself to her and wants his love to be reciprocated.  But first he has to propose.  How does her beloved propose.

The one who loves her looks like he wants her.

Exposition

He proposes to her in a manner in which it is evident that he loves her and wants to be closer.

Here he comes

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1  He is coming to her! He was away and now he wants to be closer to her.

Here”  You can just feel the excitement she has.   “Here”  Where she is.  The man of her dreams is coming to “here”, not that he is going over there to someone else, but he is coming “Here” where she is.   He is not running away from her but is coming closer to her.  He is coming to her.  He is drawing nearer physically and she is on fire at the sight.   He was afar and now he is coming closer.

Not only is he coming to where she is but she is at her mother’s house.  A guy coming to the mother’s house, with doves eyes, gazing through the window and peering through the lattice gives us the impression that he wants her and desires to have a closer more intimate relationship with her.  He is showing up to her house!! This is a huge deal in Jewish culture.  Her emotions have got to be fired up.  Maybe nervous a little but certainly excited to see the one she loves coming to where she is.

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2  “Gazing through the windows”  He is not only drawing nearer but upon reaching the wall around her house he gazes through the window. He is trying to get a glimpse of the one he loves.  He wants to see her face.  He wants to see her with his own eyes for he loves her.  Remember in Song 1:16 he had “doves eyes”.  So he is in love and with his doves eyes he is gazing through the windows.

3  “Windows”  plural.  He not only wants to see in a persistent manner.  He isn’t gazing through one window but many windows.  Which means she can see him but he can’t quite get the look at her that he wants.  He doesn’t quit at gazing through the window but continues by peering through the lattice.  The multiple windows and continued action “peering through the lattice”  tell us of his persistence.  All the more reason for her heart to be enflamed.  He really wants to see her.  The stag isn’t stopping in his pursuit of the doe.  The repeated idea of him wanting to see us gives us and idea that he really wanted to see her.   His desire for her is great.  He has a heart enflamed for her.  Its not just any ordinary love he is gazing through the window and peering through the lattice, eagerly wanting to see the one he loves.  Persistently and eagerly wanting to get a look at her whom he loves.

4 “Behold”  “Listen“, “look”  The bride to be calls us to behold him and listen to him as she did.   For us to gaze with intention and desire as he is looking, gazing and intensely desiring to see her.  She wants us to put our focus on him.  So let us behold the type of Jesus Christ in the pursuit of the one he loves.   Let us behold our Great Suitor as he positions himself to draw us closer!

Look”  What is going on here is that her and our eyes were off of him.  She calls us to look with her at her beloved.  Many times in life we get our eyes off Jesus, doves eyes though they be, sometime they aren’t on who they are supposed to be.  So much of our lives our eyes are on ourselves therefore we live selfishly and tend to feel not so beautiful for Jesus!  Jesus has overcome every difficulty in the way of you and Him.  He has skill to draw you closer so ask Him to right now!   He loves you dearly so love Him back.  He desires to see holiness in you so look to Jesus who will make you more like Him as behold His beauty and glory with your doves eyes.  Blessed are the pure in heart who have doves eyes for they will see God.

Does Jesus want for us to gaze upon him with delight?  She calls us to look upon the type of Jesus Christ!

Keep the same context this is after she has been born again and has aroused his affection for her due to love being in her heart.   Now he wants her to close with him.  He is willing to commit and wants a commitment from her.  He is about to ask her to come away with him.  To Arise and go away with him.

So when does Jesus want us to go away with him and leave our past life?  And how would knowing that he eagerly wants to see us and is excited to be coming nearer motivate us to love Him more and be ready for Him when he comes.

He wants to see his beauty reflected in us! Jesus is eager and excited to overcome all difficulties in order to be closer to us and see his image reflected in us!

Not only eager and excited like her beloved but more eager and more excited than her beloved!  Christ’s desire to see you is greater than Solomon’s desire to see his bride to be! The affections Jesus Christ has for His bride are infinitely greater than Solomon’s to his bride!  How much more so does Jesus want to see you because you are made in his image than Solomon wanted to see his bride?  Much more so than you can imagine!

The better the image the greater the gratification of Jesus when he see’s us.  He will be happy with the least as well as the greatest saints.  Jesus will be fully satisfied with every single person the Father gave him to die for and make holy.  Yet some lights will shine brighter than other’s.  Don’t you want to be as morally beautiful as possible for the one who loves you and wants to gaze upon his beauty in you more than you want to gaze upon His holiness, which consists in His Love to God!

Satan is a liar!  Jesus/God doesn’t want to be near you (lie).  Your a sinner.  He is holy. (truth)  God doesn’t want to be with you (lie).  Satan mixes lies with truth so that you don’t draw near to Jesus!

Ever feel like “What’s the point in going to God when my life is so terribly sinful?  Shouldn’t I clean up my life first?    This is terrible thinking.  A mind like this is normal so to speak because we tend to believe Satan’s lies more often than not sometimes.  Don’t forget Jesus came to save sinners.  Are you a sinner?  Yes.  Have you sinned often?  Yes.  Have you done really bad things?  Yes.

Then go to Jesus.  He came and put on flesh, lived  a perfect life and bore your sins in his body, felt the pain you deserved, died and rose again so that he could save His sinful bride from not only the penalty of sin but the presence of sin in her heart before they see each other face to face.  Go to your heavenly Bridegroom who is eager to see you and hear your voice.  He hates your sin but loves you and likes to hear your confession of sin and guilt.  He eagerly has overcome the difficulties the separate you from Him so don’t worry about any of that, its all taken care of.   Look here he comes calling you closer to Him, go to Him all you who are weary and heavy laden with sin and guilt for he will wash you sin with His Blood and make you holier and holier.   More and more beautiful. More and more delightful to behold!!  Why?  Because his greatest delight is to see his reflection in your heart!!   So He makes you more beautiful by your beholding His affections for you as you know that he is pleased to see the most beautiful bride in the universe because we are united to our infinitely beautiful Bridegroom!!

The Beauty of the Bride is in her heart.  Holy is she with Love in her heart, therefore she is Beautiful.  Yet the Love in her heart is infinite because it is God in there.

Jesus gazes at us with an infinitely sweet gaze!!

Know that Jesus will persist in seeking your beautiful face until His desire is gratified!

Our Bridegroom said to the Father “I want them to be with me where I am”  John 17  He wants to see your face more than you want to see His!   Know that so that you go to him more often.  Know that His greatest delight is in your holiness so purify your heart in the blood of Jesus Christ, God’s Beloved Son who bore your sins and made you holy and continues to make you holier and more beautiful for you are His delight!

He is so eager to see you because what He see’s in you is the most beautiful thing ever, His image, His likeness, Love in your Heart, for God is love.

He wants to be nearer to you and calls you to draw near to Him and he will give more grace for the both of you to enjoy!  He will enjoy seeing more of himself in you and so will you for you are “a rose” and the most beautiful bride!  Your are the most beautiful, holy and blameless.  Yet he makes you holier and happier as you get closer to him.

So where does the persistence of our Heavenly Bridegroom cone in?  What is He all doing in order to get a look at us?

What is Jesus Christ eagerly doing so that He could get a look at Himself reflecting in you?

At this point in the Song, as far as application to your growth in love in Christ.  You have already confessed your lack of taking care of your own vineyard.  You want and have manifested many changes in your life that show you want a closer more intimate relationship with Jesus by repenting of sin, but sometime you would go back to thinking that you would have to do good in order to earn God’s favor.  No we don’t have to do good to earn God’s favor.  Jesus died for our sins to earn God’s favor and grace toward us and for us.  So you know and have assurance that you are a chid of God due to your love to Him because He first loved us. Not by good works of your own but by the Grace of God in Christ are we made morally beautiful for the delight of Christ, due to our union with Him as our Husband who died for us.

Your at the point where you got your eyes got temporarily off Jesus and now you are looking His way!  How is he looking upon you?  Does He see your sin and shame?  Yes, but He see’s it as gone.  “As far as the east is from the west so far has He removed His brides sins from her.  Made her holy and continues to make her holier and happier.

He wants to see holiness in you for that is your greatest beauty for you are infinitely beautiful in Christ.  Married to Him who is infinitely beautiful you share His moral Beauty.  United to Him means that you are united to infinite beauty.  Jesus Christ looks upon you as you are!!  United to Him which means you are holy, and blameless the most beautiful bride ever!!!   Since you are that way he treats you that way.  Which means He eagerly wants to gaze upon His moral beauty in your heart and enjoy the fruits thereof.

The idea

Love seen in the actions of your beloved stirs up the brides love for him.   I mean who in their right mind wants to go closer to someone who is not excited to see you?

in His light we see light” and are enflamed and transformed.

She saw his love on display wanted us to see it and enjoy the experience with her that she had when she saw her beloved coming eagerly closer to her wanting to see her beauty.  She was beautiful and he wanted to see her badly.

Love reciprocates.   Love seek reciprocation.

To behold the beauty of the Lord is our greatest one desire.

About the LORD the Psalmist wanted “to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him” Psalm 27:4

See Jesus earnestly wanting to see you.   He may come at any moment at the sound of a trumpet.  And he wants to see his bride.

 

Contents of this Blog post

First the verse

Title of the Section.  Song 2:8-3:4

Conception.  The conception of the relationship.  Engagement day and night.

Title of the subsection.

The Sweetest Proposal.

Verses in the subsection.

Persistently and Eagerly wanting to see her.

Who is speaking?

The woman in 2:8-13.  Solomon in 2:14.  Bride in 2:15-16.

Overall statement of the section. (Above)

Definitions. (None so far)

How the strength, jealousy, superlative nature, unquenchability and or pricelessness of love is illustrated in the section.

Context leading up to the section.

Exposition

The idea.

An idea is an underlying principle or truth that could be seen literally in the text.  Love reciprocates.  She wants us to share in the experience of his love by “looking” at His loving actions and “Listening” to His sweet words.

Application of section if not mentioned in the subsection.

Application in courtship or marriage

Application as it relates to getting closer Jesus Christ

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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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