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Song of Songs 1:3
“Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
your name is like perfume poured out.”
Be more and more pleased at the mention of His Name so that you draw nearer by trusting Him more.
Song of Songs 5:10-16
10 “My beloved is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.
11 His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven.
12 His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk,
mounted like jewels.
13 His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume.
His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh.
14 His arms are rods of gold set with topaz.
His body is like polished ivory decorated with lapis lazuli.
15 His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold.
His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars.
16 His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem”.
The bride recounts for us the excellencies of her beloved Solomon that make him stand out among ten thousand other wise men. Many of these excellencies of Solomon are similar to that of Jesus Christ. Solomon was a type of Christ, a lesser Christ Matt. 12:42
John grew in the knowledge of Christ and was afraid of punishment until Christ reminded John of who He was and what He did, Jesus shared the gospel and John didn’t fear punishment from Christ. Revelation 1:12-18
12 “I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, 13 and among the lampstands was someone like a son of man, dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. 14 The hair on his head was white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. 15 His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. 16 In his right hand he held seven stars, and coming out of his mouth was a sharp, double-edged sword.His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.
17 When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. 18 I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.”
The point I would like you to see is that those who are reading their Bibles, praying, giving sharing the gospel. These growing Christians will keep seeing Jesus Christ greater than before. One must be prepared with the Gospel of peace drilled so far into your heart that when you fear the wrath of God as you draw near then you can just think of who Christ is and what He has done for you etc. In this way He draws us by us seeing His love for God and us at the cross, seeing His love greater and loving Him more.
Moses saw the glory of God and heard Him proclaim His Name:
“The Lord came down in the cloud and stood there with him and proclaimed his Name, the Lord. 6 And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, 7 maintaining love to thousands,and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.” The mention of His Name was like perfume poured out, pleasing and delightful. No one like Him. Worthy of worship. So Moses “Worshipped” after he got a greater revelation of the glory of God.
Job grew in the Knowledge of God
Job grew in experiential knowledge of God after He spoke in the whirlwind then Job repented of His lesser view of God for the greater, righter per se, clearer, purer view. Job 42:5-6 The Name of God got exalted in and through Job’s trials and Job got sanctified, this is his good Romans 8:28-29 to be conformed to the image of His Son. Conformity starts with a greater knowledge of God’s glory being beheld 2 Cor. 3:18
5 “I looked up and there before me was a man dressed in linen, with a belt of fine gold from Uphaz around his waist. 6 His body was like topaz, his face like lightning, his eyes like flaming torches, his arms and legs like the gleam of burnished bronze, and his voice like the sound of a multitude.
7 I, Daniel, was the only one who saw the vision; those who were with me did not see it, but such terror overwhelmed them that they fled and hid themselves. 8 So I was left alone, gazing at this great vision; I had no strength left, my face turned deathly pale and I was helpless. 9 Then I heard him speaking, and as I listened to him, I fell into a deep sleep, my face to the ground.”
Jesus Means Savior, because He will save His people from their sins.
The Name of Jesus is above the “name” Solomon. Above in that Jesus was both God and man. Two natures in one fully human fully divine person. God put on flesh. Therefore seemingly opposite but excellent character qualities are seen to be most glorious when compared one to another. Lets look at some Seemingly contradictory characteristics in the same person of the Son of God and Son of Man. His name is like perfume poured out.
Infinite Highness and infinite condescension.
Infinite Justice and infinite Grace
Infinite Glory and infinite humility
Greatest Majesty and lowest Meekness
Reverence toward God, yet Equality with Him
Worthy of infinite good, yet displayed the greatest patience when suffering evil.
Christ the Son of God was Self-sufficient, yet had entire trust and reliance on God.
Obeyed yet was the Supreme King of Kings
Greatest Love to God and love to sinners in one act of dying on the cross.
He is God’s Son, His one and only Son, the image of the invisible God, the exact representation of His Nature. And also fully man, born of a woman, the Word that was with God and was God put on flesh and dwelt among us and the disciples beheld His Glory, full of Grace and Truth.
Jesus Christ the Messiah, Fulfilled the prophecies of the O.T.
God the Father gave His Son a sinful bride, Christ accepted the bride and paid the ransom price to redeem her from a life of sin and its punishment.
“Hosanna to the Son of David!” “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!” “Hosanna in the highest heaven!” Mat. 21:9
We are to not use the Lord’s name not in vain. If you take the name of Christ and call yourself a Christian you must act like one or don’t take His name in vain upon yourself.
No greater Love was ever on display then when He died to make His enemies His friends.
This love surpasses our knowledge and gives us a joy inexpressible and full of glory!
Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” For
Jesus is King of Kings and Lord of Lord, The King to whom peace belongs, Prince of Peace. “God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.” Phil. 2:19-11
Solomon’s name when mention would be pleasing to all who heard it. All of who a person is and what they have done goes into their name. So who was Solomon and what did you do as king, priest, prophet, husband and shepherd. At the mention of his name people would think.
- Son of David
- Solomon was a promised messiah, ruling from Jerusalem during greatest time of peace and prosperity both physically and spiritually for Israel so far. 1 Kings 4:25
- Possessed unmeasurable wisdom
- The the Solomon would remind you of a boy who prayed for wisdom rather than riches. He was a great example til sometime after 1 kings 9:25 and at the time of ( 1 Kings 11)near the end of his reign. Up until then Solomon’s name was like perfume poured out as in Song 1:3. So far as others are concerned Solomon’s name is like perfume poured out. He is wise, holy and loving, the chief among ten thousand.
- He made wise business agreements with Hiram 1 Kings 5:7
- When you heard the name “Solomon” you would be reminded of a boy who at a very young age, by the wisdom God gave Solomon, figured out who the real mother of a baby was.
- His name meant “king to whom peace belongs”. Solomon was worthy of this name.
- His name meant “Gods beloved son.” Jedidiah 2 Sam. 12:25 with Matthew 3:17
- His army was good and experienced in battle. Inherited by his father.
- His trade agreements extended throughout the world.
- The magnificent glory of his government and its officials is recorded in 1 Kings 4. the government of the nations was on his shoulders as if it was no burden at all.
- The glory of Solomon’s name shines even brighter when you try to calculate how rich he was. Everything was gold and the most expensive wood was used.
- Nothing was lacking at the Kings table. The best of the best wines and spices and elegant food galore!! 1 Kings 4:27
- Great Things God promised would come true during his reign started coming true 1 Kings 8:9,20
So we are to find out everything that went into the “name” of the king mentioned in Song 1:2-4 then argue from the lesser king to the Greater King Jesus and His reign on Earth.
More thoughts on the topic “name”
Song 1:2-4 has a focus on the king. Solomons roles as a King. His name was like perfume poured out.” Solomon was a type of Christ, particularly in wisdom Mat 12:42. The name Solomon would remind her of the greater Messiah. No one fit the description of the messiah better than Solomon did so far? Yes or No.
Moses would have been close. Moses was the most humble of men. Moses sure did a matchless job of intercession for His people. Moses was a great prophet. But Jesus Christ is not only a High priest, Prophet he is also a King and Husband. In one day Solomon offered more sacrifices than any one else. The value of the blood of the messiah/substitute increases with each sacrifice.
‘Tis unreasonable to think otherwise, than that the first foundation of a true love to God, is that whereby he is in himself lovely, or worthy to be loved, or the supreme loveliness of his nature. This is certainly what makes him chiefly amiable. What chiefly makes a man, or any creature lovely, is his excellency; and so what chiefly renders God lovely, and must undoubtedly be the chief ground of true love, is his excellency. God’s nature, or the divinity, is infinitely excellent; yea ’tis infinite beauty, brightness, and glory itself.
Song 1:3 “Your Name is like perfume poured out.”
- It gives me great pleasure meditating and thinking about Name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Because of Who He was and His atoning work at the cross, His sacrifice, that one act of obedience is a pleasing aroma to God and us, His bride.
- It makes me happy to think of you as Savior and Anointed One.
- All of who Christ is and what He have done is pleasing to me when I think of Him, the thoughts and feelings are like perfume poured out, pleasing to the spiritual needs of my soul, therefore I delight to sit in His shade and His fruit is sweet to my taste.
- Jesus Christ the Son of God, 100% God and 100% man, Perfect, Lovely, free from all evil, holy, holy, holy, no one like you, “The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; 7 who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations.” Ex. 34:5-7
Pulpit commentary “Yedidyah. The word is formed from the same root as David, that is, “lovely,” with the addition of the Divine name. As we have already pointed out, this was no slight matter, but the virtual selection of Solomon to be David’s successor, and probably, therefore, was delayed until he had given indication of his great intellectual gifts. His elder brothers would not be passed over without valid reasons.”
Solomon had a good name up until the time he went after false God’s at the end of his life. You can read all about it in the whole chapter of 1 Kings 11.
Jonathan Edwards’ blank bible notes. Who her beloved is and what He does for her are all wrapped up in a “name” His name was like perfume poured out Song 1:3.
Here the Bride describes her beloved to the daughters of Jerusalem. She is going to describe the character and qualifying attributes of her beloved that makes him stand above other beloveds. The bride gives her answer in Song of Songs 5:10-16
Song of Songs 5:10
“White and ruddy” (or red).] His whiteness represents his infinite holiness and perfect righteousness. His being red represents the great sufferings and extreme trials under which his righteous and most excellent virtue was manifested. It may also signify his incarnation. The word is אָדוֹם, a word of the same derivation as Adam, man.
“His locks are bushy, and black as a raven.”] Christ’s perfect age is set forth, Revelation 1:14, by his hair’s being “white like wool, as white as snow,” or perfectly white. And here his perfect youth is set forth by his hair’s being “black as a raven,” or perfectly black. Christ hath both perfect age and perfect youth, the perfect bloom and vigor of youth through eternity, or an everlasting youth. He was properly represented with that which signified his age in Revelation 1, where he appears in the quality of a ruler and judge, the great Alpha and Omega Canticles 5:8]. Here when he is spoken of as a bridegroom, he is most properly represented with that which signifies the perfection of youth. See SSS.1
“His head is as the most fine gold.” This probably represents Christ’s divine nature. The head of Christ is God, says the Apostle. Gold seems to have been made use of to signify Christ’s divinity or divine dignity before. Canticles 3:10, see note. See SSS on Canticles 3:1.2
( This is me just thinking out loud. The idea of flourishing could be here as well. Psalm 92: 13-16 states: “The righteous flourish like the palm tree”
(The wrath of God was being made know quite clearly. Black is Wrath, wavy is like a palm tree, now if you have a waving branch in great winds and it survives this is a strong healthy branch. Strength and valor are His. or
His peacemaking skills shone in abundance. This was her beloved and her friends crowning attribute. King to whom peace belongs. Hair crowns the head. What is His crowning characteristic. King of peace!? Was it, I think so.
So we have youthful strength, king of peace, crowning characteristic, ability to bring about peace between God and man. God comes to dwell with man. The palm branch stand victorious against any wind.)
“Rivers of water,” when spoken of mystically, and concerning things holy and divine in Scripture, are perhaps universally put for the Holy Spirit, its influences and fruits. This expression therefore denotes Christ’s receiving the Spirit not by measure, and thence divining infinite holiness, and sweet love, and grace as it were appearing in his eyes, which “are as the eyes of a dove,” pure and loving. SSS.3
Song of Songs 5:13
“His lips are like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh.”] Here in the description of Christ’s lips, as of several other parts of his body, is signified the mixture of holiness and grace that there is in Christ. His lips’ being as lilies represents the purity and holiness of his gospel, not in the least countenancing or encouraging sin; and their “dropping sweet smelling myrrh” represents the grace of Christ to sinners manifested in the gospel.
Song of Songs 5:14
“His belly is as bright ivory,” etc.] See “Scripture,” no. 489.4
“His belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires.” The word5 translated “belly” signifies bowels, and the same word is so translated, Canticles 5:4. And so it signifies Christ’s mercy and love. The glory of Christ’s grace and love consists in two things. 1. That his mercy is perfectly pure and holy, represented by his bowels being “as bright ivory.” 2. By its being so gentle and so great, seeking such great benefits, so high a happiness for the beloved, on this account his belly is represented as “overlaid with sapphires,” a precious stone of the color of the sky, one of the mildest of the colors, and the color of the heavens, representing Christ’s mercy being exceeding sweet, mild, and gentle, and that it is so great it seeks nothing less than heavenly glory and blessedness for the beloved. See “Scripture,” no. 489.6 And see SSS.7
“His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl.” “Great men had their hands adorned with gold rings set with precious stones. But in the church’s eye, Christ’s hands themselves were as gold rings set with precious stones. All the instances of his power, the works of his hands, all the performances of his providence and grace, are all rich, and pure, and precious as gold.” (Henry.)8 By Chambers’ account, the beryl is like the crystal, but only partakes of a green color. Crystal may properly represent purity and holiness, and green, divine grace and beauty, giving life and joy, as the beams of the sun in the spring, covering the earth with a vivid joyful green. Holiness and grace are wonderfully connected in Christ’s works, in the work of redemption, in all parts of it.9
Song of Songs 5:15
“His countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars.”] Signifying the mixture of majesty and grace. Lebanon was a great mountain, which mountains are an appearance in nature that exhibits great majesty. The cedars of Lebanon, also being so very great and high, had a majesty in their appearance. But by their being so fair and flourishing, of so beautiful a green, they exhibited an amiable image of that divine grace which is mild and gentle, and gives life and joy.
“His legs are as pillars of marble, set on sockets of fine gold.” Gold seems in this book pretty often to be used to represent Christ’s divinity, or the infinite dignity of his person. See notes on Canticles 2:10 and Canticles 5:11. Christ, in the office of our mediation, and in the character of our prophet, priest, king, spiritual husband of the church, etc., stands on the foundation of his divinity, and his infinite dignity and sufficiency consisting therein. ‘Tis by his standing on this that he stands so strong. Or these “sockets of fine gold,” which are the foundation on which his feet stand, may represent the preciousness and perfect excellency of the ground of the divine proceedings in his providence. It may be observed that in all that is divine, the foundation is represented as peculiarly precious. The foundation of the temple was of precious stones. So the foundations of the New Jerusalem and its streets, the ground on which the inhabitants went, were precious stones and pure gold. In the bridegroom’s chariot (Canticles 3:9), “the bottom thereof was of gold” Canticles 3:10]. See also Isaiah 54:11 and Isaiah 28:16. All that belongs to, or can properly be called, the foundation of the divine proceedings in his providence, especially the proceedings of Christ as our Savior in the work of redemption, whether those perfections or divine dispositions that move him or dispose him to do what he does, or the chief motives and supreme end, is perfectly pure and infinitely excellent.
Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.
I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.
I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.
If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28
I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.
If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.
Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.
About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.
As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.
Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.
I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.
I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.
I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.
I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.
I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.
I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.
California at age 26.
I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.
One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.
By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.
I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."
So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.
After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.
I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.
I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.
I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.
The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.
About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.
I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.
Then this life changing advice came:
A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.
In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.
I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.
About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.
I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.
So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.
I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.
Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.
About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.
Then a mission trip to Croatia.
Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.
About 3 years saved now.
I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.
Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.
I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.
Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.
My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!
I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.
God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.