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Daughters of Jerusalem

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Enemy slave that loves sin verses  Holy virgin Daughter of Jerusalem
Enemy slave gets saved and wants to marry Solomon and asks the Daughters and/or Solomon “Do not stare at me because of my sunburn..”Song 1:5-6

 

There are many times that the daughters of Jerusalem would show up in the Song.  These are faithful Jewish women.  Products of Jerusalem.  A city of peace.  Imagine being raised by the most godly parents possible in the holiest city ever with Solomon as king of kings governing the people by his unmeasurable wisdom.   It just get better and better until the kingdom splits at the end of Solomon’s reign.  Although these daughters of Jerusalem are holy they were born again at some time.  Though I would assume at an early age.  Jerusalem was their mother.  They are her daughters.  Born and raised in a holy city with holy parents, holy friends, eaten kosher food, worshiping God, going to temple, praying often.  References to being a daughter or son also meant “sameness of nature”.  Jerusalem meant “peace”,  these were Daughters of peace.  One of the nicknames of the bride in the Song is “Shulamite” meaning “peace” in the feminine.  “Solomon” means peace in the masculine.  Similar to the names Christian and Christiana.

The place you grow up in and your parents influence who you are.

Being a Daughter of Jerusalem meant that growing up in Jerusalem had a certain effect or influence upon all those that grew up there.  The particular influence is that of “peace”.   Peace was felt, experienced and shed abroad.  In the name Jerusalem is the idea of “peace” therefore these are “Daughter’s of peace who grew up in a holy city of peace.”  Peace with God, Peace with enemies, peace with neighbors, brothers, sisters, peace between husband/Husband and wife/bide of Christ.  These are women who are a product of peace.

Some people say they come from the south or north and it means something different if you are from the south.  You would be a Daughter of the South.   Being born and raised in Compton California has a different  idea of being born and raised in Beverly Hills.  So also being born and raised in the holiest of cities Jerusalem during a time of the greatest spiritual revival in history would also mean something as well.  Older than children these daughters of Jerusalem show up about 10x in the Song of Songs.

Listed below are the 10x they show up and then more detail on the 3rd time they show up

  1. The Daughters of Jerusalem love Solomon who is God’s anointed king and messiah of Israel.  They show up and are included in the “maiden’s” that rightly praise and more the single king Solomon.  Song 1:3-4.  Similar to our love of King Jesus that is right.
  2. Next time the Daughters show up is in Song 1:5 when the bride to be is giving the daughters of Jerusalem her testimony.  “Dark am I, yes sunburnt, yet I am lovely”
  3. Here the bride doesn’t want the Daughter to judge her so she gives her testimony and the asks them to not “stare” at her because she is outwardly different looking like an enemy and not a fellowshipping friend.
  4. Song 1:11 is when the daughters of Jerusalem show up next.  Basically they are included in the “we” of Song 1:11.  Solomon is basically saying that she is beautiful in 1:9-10 and in 1:11 all who are involved in her sanctification promise to make her more beautiful.  They aren’t staring at her sunburn at this point because she followed the tracks of other mature sheep and found rest by the shepherd tents.  She proved her love to the Shepherd King her lover, She obeyed what He said to do in 1:8.  So they are involved with the beautification process of her soul.
  5. Song 2:7 is the next time they show up.  This time the bride to be has spent some really good quality time with Solomon and he is about to propose but she passes out right before in Song 5-6 then a warning that shows up three time is told to the daughters of Jerusalem.  A warning to not arouse or awaken love til she is ready and willing.  3x this warning shows up to these Daughters of Jerusalem.  It must be a great temptation for them to arouse or awaken love.  When your heart is ready and the desire is there then you can enjoy each other’s love.  Yet this still is in God’s timing as it is in nature.  For more on Song 2:7 click here.
  6. In Song 3:7  its as if an audience is called upon to “look”.  I do not doubt that the daughters of Jerusalem where the ones included in looking at the bride on her way to the coronation and wedding with her king.  So the daughters of Jerusalem along with others,  I suppose this would have been as big a wedding as possible,  Solomon had endless finances.  (I assume angels as well) are called upon to “look”  at the bride… and also in 3:10 they are called to “look on king Solomon wearing the crown”  Its like the audience can look one way and see the bride coming and they can look the other way and see Solomon wearing the crown.  Here also are some other characters in the Song, these are the Daughters of Zion.  Song 3:10.   What are the daughters of Zion doing in a book on marriage?  The Song takes place in a time era where Solomon ruled from Jerusalem, it was a theorcratic monarchy like never seen before.  Solomon took over after David and then here come Solomon’s promised New World Order.
  7. Next time the Daughters show up is in the middle of the night when she is love sick.  Song 5:9.  Just after she got beat up and all her outward comforts taken away and the only thing she desires is to seek and find her beloved, but she didn’t know which way he turned. She says to tell Him I really really miss him if you find him.  He is the greatest husband who ever lived, the chief among ten thousand Song 5:10-16 is the most glorious idea anyone could have of their Holy and righteous king of kings, shepherd of her heart and husband to her soul, united by the very flame of God Song 8:6 that is in them both etc. and its through this higher view of the lesser Christ that she is humbled and finds him “down” in the garden of 6:2 which humble is where she should have been when he knocked in 5:2.  So in the middle of trying to learn to stay humble and obey quicker the daughters of Jerusalem ask her to describe why her beloved husband is better than any other husband.  How is it that your husband is better than any other beloved?  Your telling us that experiencing this guys presence is worth going through all that you have in the middle of the night just to be near him?
  8. Then the Daughters show up again.  This time they are being warned to not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.  This assumes that they would be tempted to arouse or awaken love before it’s proper time.  You may believe you humbled yourself and deserve communion with Him.  No, you don’t deserve it.  “You just can’t arouse or awaken my Love at will or because of your supposed humbling yourself” Christ says to the prideful soul.  Do not arouse or awaken love til it so desires, for more on this warning go here.
  9. The next time they possibly show up and could easily be the one’s who have a daughter who is not mature yet and they are asking the fully mature in Christ bride what to do.  She answers them with if she is a door to lock her up.   If she is a wall then to praise, honor and adorn her with Jewels.
  10. The last time they show up is when the voices of those in the garden are asked to be heard in Song 8:13.  I suppose this to be anyone living a righteous life is asked to give voice, testimony, praise and rejoice.

See the Contrast

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Song of Songs 1:5 is the 3rd time the Daughters of Jerusalem show up and here is where you see a stark contrast between the fair skinned Daughters of peace and the sunburnt daughter born into sin and slavery her whole life til the “flame of the Lord” dwells in her and she wants to marry Solomon, but she gets some horrible looks from the Daughters of Jerusalem.

  1. They are still present and she asks them to not stare at her sunburn, confesses her sin as part of her testimony.  Song 1:6  Based on her profession the daughters of Jerusalem do not stare at her.  She was looking dark, sunburnt and evil on the outside but desiring a closer more intimate relationship with Solomon because you have tasted a little bit and you want more because it is more delightful than wine.*-
      1.  The daughter’s of Jerusalem were naturally born in Jerusalem.  Specifically during a time of great spiritual revival with Solomon, king of kings ruling from Jerusalem.  These ladies would have been naturally born into the kingdom during Solomon’s reign so they did no labor.  And were holy, set apart for the service of God during a theocratic monarchy with Solomon as king of kings.
      2. They did no labor.  1 Kings 9:20-13, 2 Chronicles 8:8 with her working in the vineyards in Song 1:6.  So the bride to be used to work in the vineyards and wasn’t naturally born belonging in the Kingdom of God. They had no sunburn, but she did.
      3. The daughters of Jerusalem had a tendency to stare at the enemies of God, the ones who had the sunburns.  Their was a stigma at that time that came with having a sunburn.   Having a sunburn meant that you were an enemy of God born into slavery, therefore those who were living free and blessed would often look down upon or stare at the sunburnt enemies of God that were being treated as if they were continuing in sin, separated from God like a veiled prostitute.
      4. A Daughter of Jerusalem would be similar to a woman born of believing parents in the millennial Kingdom.
      25570154 - winter leafless vineyard field in utiel requena of valencia spain
      The Shulamite was a enemy slave working in the vineyards and got sunburnt.

      A sunburn meant that you were an enemy of God, and the bride in the Song was sunburnt Song 1:6 and labored in another’s vineyard not her own, she neglected hers and labored in the hot sun all day and got sunburnt.  The enemies of God left in the kingdom when Solomon took over where the ones doing all the hard labor.  1 Kings 9:20-23, 2 Chronicles 8:8.  Her job here is working outside in the vineyards in the hot sun getting sunburnt.  By birth she was born outside the covenant blessings of being a daughter of Jerusalem.

    1. 15622633_sThe daughters of Jerusalem had no sunburn because they were born in and belonging unto Jerusalem during a time prophesied to be the greatest time of physical and spiritual revival.

      Examples

      1.  Jesus a holy Jew would normally have nothing to do with sinful half Jew and half Gentile Samaritan.  Samaritans were despised due to their sinful practices.  John 4:9  Therefore the Samaritan woman said to Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask me for a drink since I am a Samaritan..
      2. Ben Ladin.   A born again Muslim wanting to marry a Christian.  Now in the 20th century when evil radical Muslim’s want to kill Christians and Jews.  And Ben Ladin is their ruler.  And Benjamin Netanyahu is the president of Israel now.   It would be like Ben Ladin having a daughter that just was born again wanting to marry Netanyahu. Imagine Ben Ladin’s daughter saying to Netanyahu,  “Do not stare at me because I look like an evil Islamic terrorist because I am born again.”
      3. Imagine anyone living a totally ungodly life and them being scared with some sort of outward appearance that made other’s thing they were the enemy and not a friend.
      4. Similar I suppose to a holy loving police man marrying a born again gangster girl.  And she meets him and says “Do not stare at my tattoo’s I am a new person..”
      5. It would be like Saul preaching the gospel whereas before he murdered Christians.  Imagine the new Paul meeting Christians.  “Do not stare at me because I know I look like Saul the guy who persecuted Christians but I am Paul now.”

      Effects of some having a sunburn and other not.

      Such a clear line would be drawn between the outward appearance, soft skinned, beautiful and attractive.  Compared to the first impression you would get from her because of her sunburn is that she is a natural born enemy of God totally opposite to a natural born daughter of Jerusalem.

      So the bride to be worked outside, was treated like a veiled prostitute continuing in sin and didn’t want to be treated like she had a sunburn, so she says to the daughters of Jerusalem, “Do not stare at me because I am dark..like black evil dwellings of kedar…I neglected my vineyard..was put into slavery outside in the hot sun and have a sunburn because I was an enemy of God but now I am born again with the “Flame of God” Song 8:6 in me so “Do not stare at me because I am dark, darkened by the sun…”

      The picture below shows the contrast between enemy sunburnt slaves working in the vineyards outside the covenant blessing of Israel during the reign of their greatest messiah so far.

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Imagine these two meeting?  If the one on the right is a holy virtuous virgin Daughter of Jerusalem and she met an unholy ungodly enemy to the Throne of God slave girl wanting to marry Solomon, what kind of look would she get from a Daughter of Jerusalem?

More Thoughts

Daughter’s of Jerusalem are

  1. Naturally born in Jerusalem during the greatest revival in history!
  2. They did no work.  2 Chronicles.8:8, 1 Kings 9:20-23, Song 1:6
  3. They were fair skinned and not sunburnt like their enemies
  4. They accept her and join her and she leads them to her beloved Song 5
  5. They were faithful Jews
    1. Eating, praying, worship, sacrificing living righteous glorifying God and enjoying Him.  And it only kept getting better.  They did no labor but would oversea it.  Compared to an enemy slave girl born outside the holy city.
  6. The Daughter of Jerusalem had no love of complacency in their enemies for they have no holiness in them, the righteous love holiness wherever they find it.  Their enemies had no Love to God, but they did.   The daughter’s of Jerusalem had complacency in holiness.  Therefore were they did not discover this holiness in other’s then they would look down upon them with righteous hatred.  Ps. 5:5, 11:5. The daughters of Jerusalem had a tendency to treat those outside a covenant relationship with God with some kind of disdain, contempt, judgement or the like.  Whatever is included in what is translated “looking down upon”   or “staring at” means.  The sunburnt bride to be asks the daughters of Jerusalem to not treat her as her outward appearance gives every indication that she should not be trusted, let alone be married to their king.  But she is born again Song 8:6 and desires a relationship with the Godliest man she can find, the greatest type of Christ to ever live, Solomon.  The daughters of Jerusalem had no love of complacency in the bride to be until she was born again.
  7. I would say these were born again Jews, which they were but their outward appearance would not have shown it due to them being born into a covenant relationship with God.  Sort of like being considered the daughter of Jerusalem where innocent until proven guilty.  Rather than if you were born into slavery then your loyalty to the crown would always be in question.

Gospel Application

Wether you were born in an ungodly city or a holy one (I don’t think there is one now) but I suppose you could have a pretty holy family or parents.  Either way we are all born sinners and must be born again in order to enter heaven.  We are sinners.  We have disobeyed God many many many times in thought, word, emotions and deeds.  We deserve separation form God’s love and grace and deserve strict Justice in the lake of fire forever for disobeying, for so Great is our Holy God.  God sent His Son to take our sins upon Himself, once our sins are on His record then God punished Him as if He was a sinner.  The sins of the bride of Christ were transferred to Him on the cross, He suffered for her out of Love.  Plus He lived a perfect life so that His perfect life could be credited to our account.  If your faith in who Christ is and what he has done for you is real then thinking, feelings, words and actions will change for the better, not perfect but you will be sorry and mourn because you offended a great God and you will repent because you now love Him.  Jesus promises to never leave you and will present you as a holy born again virgin blameless in the presence of God.

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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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