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Beauty, Private and General

God is Beautiful and His Holy Spirit is Beauty itself.  God’s holiness is His Beauty.  God is beautiful because He has no flaw in Him.  God is perfect.  We can’t see God with our eyes but we can know in our minds that He is Beautiful.

Things in nature are beautiful.  Things in nature are without flaw meaning they are not deformed and in all their parts nothing is missing, the object is fully suitable to its purpose.

Lets take a grain of sand for instance.  A grain of sand is a natural beauty.


Notice the irregularity in the shape.  There is some regularity, but there is more of irregularity than regularity.  A square is perfectly regular.  So is an equal lateral triangle. Simple beauty verses complex, consists in the equality of parts and ratio’s.  Complex beauty differs in the fact that there are more varying parts that are in agreement.

A grain of sand is something in existence that by itself is a private beauty.  I say private in contrast to general beauty.

Natural in contrast to moral beauty.  A grain of sand doesn’t have a soul, mind, will, perception or emotion.  It is just an object.  God doesn’t command a grain of sand to love Him for it is not made in His image.

The more that one part agree’s with all the other’s which is the same as to say that the stricter the union the greater the Beauty.


Now compare one grain of sand with another.  Are they beautiful side by side?  Not at all.  It even looks like the most agreement they have one with the other is in the fact of their size and irregularity.  In this they both agree.  Hhhmm, now isn’t that in everyones idea of a grain of sand.  That they are small and all of them about the same size relative to us. And they are all irregular when viewed from a close and singular view.  I just looked up again and look at that, the second one has a hole in it.  Now the mind goes to thinking, what is that whole doing there and why?  If these answers are not immediately or clearly seen then the sight will either not be beautiful or have a low degree of beauty to the one beholding.  Here we have beauty and more delight in beholding when the purpose of the object viewed is known and that the object is fit for that purpose.

Okay so when we extend our view of the grain of sand outward the view doesn’t get much better.


Can you see beauty in the above picture?


Some rocks can look quite beautiful within themselves.  One part can agree with another, yet this was by design.  It took wisdom and skill by the one who cut it in order to have delight in beholding there must be beauty which consists in its shape, size, proportions and ratio’s and purpose must be known.  We see this nice rock has not only beauty but a great amount of it.  Though the diamond be one piece many of the parts agree on with the other, therefore the degree of beauty is much greater.



But a grain of sand has a peculiar beauty to it when viewed by itself.  It’s shape is consistent with our idea of a grain of sand.  One would think that nearly all grains of sand are more or less irregular in shape so that the grain of sand in the picture can still be called beautiful even though its shape is a bit irregular be irregularity is consistent with a true idea of a grain of sand.

When we look at a bunch of grains of sand we see that each grain is somewhat unique and irregular and they are not uniform and regular like a series of perfect squares or circles.


Interesting how when a bunch of grains of sand are viewed that the main consistency is in their relation one to another.  They all seem to have the same size and all are of irregular shapes.  And when viewed with other grains of sand one grain looks normal.  And the scene still has a less palpable beauty to it because its purpose as a grain of sand on a beach can’t be seen from a close up picture.  It’s general beauty is still not observed to the fullest extent.

My purpose of using a grain of sand in my illustration is to point out the fact that something could be somewhat beautiful in and of itself, yet when viewed in a more general sense and its beauty being extended to include more than itself, like a grain of sand at a beach, then when we view the grain of sand in the context of its general purpose its truer beauty is better seen.    I say truer beauty because more truth or facts about the grain of sand are brought to light and the grain of sand is just the right color, size and shape for it’s overall purpose.  We see how consistent it is with every other grain of sand, its relation to the ocean, and its relation to the sky and therein is the purpose of the grain of sand seen more fully or extended to include everything related to it and thus its general beauty is seen and delighted in.


When you view this picture you can sense the delight of the father.  You can sense in some degree the feelings the mother has.  And the baby is probably giggling its heart out. Not only do you get a feeling about what they are feeling but the whole scene is beautiful, nothing seems to be out of place.

Your eyes see’s the grain of sand.  But you don’t just see the grain of sand by itself.  You see the grain of sand it all its other relations in the scene.  You see how it is related to a whole lot of other grains of sand in the context of a beach.  The beauty of the grain of sand consists in its relation to itself which is private but its beauty is also extended to include the whole beach and sky and also God.

Even the colors of the sky are pleasant.  The color of the ocean is pleasing to behold.  The various colors agree one with another, the contrast of the color of the ocean and sky to the color of the sand all work together for a beautiful scene.

Another way of saying it is that being consents to being.  A grain of sand exists.  It has being.  Anything that exists has being.  The sky exists.  The sky has being.  The existence of the grain of sand consents or is in agreement with all the other beings wether they be material or immaterial.  The existence of the grain of sand and the existence of the sky agree one with the other an overall purpose of delight in beholding.  You may not look at one grain of sand and one spot of the sky and say there is agreement.  But it is easy to look at each and every grain of sand together as a beach and then look at the beach and the ocean and sky and then view it all together and then behold the general beauty of the whole scene including the people and God.

Each part of the scene if viewed separately may not look fit for an overall purpose until you see how everything fit together.


See how separately or privately each photo has a beauty, each picture has more or less of excellency in it.

Excellence is that which is beautiful or lovely.

Put all together and structured right we get a beautiful scene.  Both physically and spiritually.  Assuming the special love they share comes from God through Christ then we see the Father loves the son and his wife, the wife loves the son and her husband.  And all love God.  Beautiful!  Altogether lovely.

The overall scene is beautiful and one part of the seen is beautiful.  The woman is beautiful in and of herself, yet when viewed as married and being a mother then her overall beauty is more lovely.  By herself, you sort of think something is missing, yet when viewed married you know her love extends to the child and you know her love extends to the husband for love delights in the happiness of the object of its affection.  We were but dust of the earth and God made man as handsome as could be, then he made the most beautiful woman and the two became one, and it was good for man to have a suitable helper.

The husband adores his bride in the Song of Songs.  In Song 4:1-5 he goes through many parts that deal her upper part of her body and then sums it all up in one most delightful view,  going from a focus on each beautiful part of her holy lovely body he now adores his overall thought of her as being “altogether lovely” Song 4:7

These are all her natural beauties that are a reflection and shadow of her true inner beauty.  In order that he compliments them.  Eyes, hair, teeth, temples, neck and breasts.

His main and primary focus is her eyes that are full of love and delight.  They are doves eyes, then he goes to another beauty of hers,  her hair is her glory and her glory has much weight to it, then he goes on admiring the beautiful symmetry, proportion and harmony of her teeth and temples.  Then he goes to her neck and breasts and admiring their beauty. Theses are all viewed and seen as beautiful and delightful in and of themselves.


Put them all together in one view that includes and she is “altogether lovely and there is no flaw in her“. Song 4:7


And add to that the fact that her moral beauty is even more delightful to him than her external beauty and he lets her know that also a few verses later when she is again looking at him, glancing his way with he doves eyes transfixed on his, he says to her “You have ravished my heart my sister, my bride, you have stolen my heart.  With one glance of your eyes…your love is more delightful than wine.”  Song 4:8-10  He says “more delightful.”  This shows us the superior beauty.   Her external beauty gives him delight for sure, but it is her internal beauty of her holy heart that ravishes his, because it is love in her heart, like a flame from God that is so lovely the sight and experience of it is more delightful than wine.  He takes make joy and delight in her when she manifests outwardly her holiness which consists primarily in her love to God and secondarily to her husband.  She answered his call to “Come down from the mountain...” 4:8 proving she loves God and her husband.  When the wife listened to the husband, that act of love ravished his heart and was more delightful to experience than the sight of her physical body even though she was the most beautiful woman outwardly.  He took greater delight in her moral loveliness than her beautifully and wonderfully made by God, external body.


Its as if the sand loves the ocean and the ocean loves the sand for all work in harmony one with the other.  The sky loves the beach.  And the family loves the beach.  Their is a mutual agreement of a variety of parts and therefore the beauty is much more palpable when viewed as a whole rather than each individual part.  They work together to form a beautiful beach where man was meant to enjoy God and glorify Him.  The sand and ocean together agree with the sky and is also a place of great joy and happiness for the family.

When you look at a grain of sand and see how it is related to the whole scene you will find that there is much agreement and order that work together for the purpose of our enjoyment of The God who so wisely created and contrived such a scene.  We were created to enjoy God by beholding His Beauty and glory in the face of Jesus Christ thus glorify Him forever.

That enjoyment of God comes only through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  Jesus is King of kings.  Confess your living for yourself and serve Him out of your love to Him for who He is.  Thank Him for dying in your place.  Our sins were place on Him who knew no sin, so that we might receive His Righteousness by faith and not by any supposed good works that we have done.   Behold the beauty of Jesus Christ on the cross. Jesus was holy on the cross.  The holiness of Jesus Christ is His Supreme Excellency.  Jesus did not sin.  To be holy is to be without sin.   God told Jesus to die for His Bride.  Jesus obeyed and stayed holy and morally beautiful on the cross.  Out of Love He drank the bitter cup of God’s full Wrath.  How beautiful is the Love of Jesus, matchless for sure, never ending and free.




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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

One thought on “Beauty, Private and General Leave a comment

  1. What a beautiful post Troy!!
    Thank you for your continual revelations of our Fathers passions and creation. Wonderful patterns all over and thru His creation!!
    Have a blessed day my friend!!

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