Jesus The Superlative Lover
Her lover is better than any other lover. Compare them and her beloved stands out among 10,000 other lovers. The Song of Songs. A love Song that is superlative in its ability to communicate love to the whole heart. The lover in the Song of Songs is the best husband to have ever lived. His love is superlative in nature compared to other lovers. Song 5:9
Song of Solomon 5:9 (KJV) “What is thy beloved more than another beloved, O thou fairest among women? what is thy beloved more than another beloved, that thou dost so charge us?”
When the greater beauty is understood the affections are moved proportionate to
In the text we have the daughters of Jerusalem find the bride absent her husband and in great distress and enduring unbearable lovesickness, she desires his/His presence and its in through deeper yearning and longing for him that her love grows.
In the context of Song 5:9-10 It certainly doesn’t look and feel like she is sensing His love or enjoying His presence, come Lord Jesus come, come messiah and reverse the curse is the cry of her heart. God wanted her to open the door for her husband and she starting to regret her laziness in answering to late. It feels like separation and your beloved is gone 5:6, it feels like you have lost all your comfort in 5:7, and hope seems to far away to grasp then think highly and true about Solomon the lesser Christ and argue from the lesser to the greater Christ Matt. 12:42 and now you get a better understanding of the greatest Lover of our Souls Jesus Christ.
Solomon is a superlative lover and the daughters of Jerusalem want to know what it is about him that makes his love so desirable to experience. The bride is love sick when they ask her to describe her beloved.
The daughters of Jerusalem still know the bride to be the most beautiful among women!
Brother’s and sisters, there are times when we have blown it. We have sinned. We didn’t obey as soon as we should. We have been lazy in our walk with God and you started to feel his displeasure against your sinful behavior but you kept on going in your sin. Your sins have separated you from your God, so that he does not hear your prayer. “You call out to Him but he does not answer.” Song 5:6 It is through witnessing to other’s about Christ and our cultivating thoughts of how Christ is the best lover that is the way and meditation that will produce fruit and beauty humbly “down” in his garden Song 6:2 then Solomon praises her character again in 6:4 all the way to 6:10 the bride is praised and admired for her beauty and love and she stays humble under this great praise. See the “down” in 6:11, 6:2 and 4:8. She needs to come down from her spiritual high high. I mean their are heights or levels of enjoyment of Christ that seem to be constant all day and then there are some more special visits are we converse throughout the day. But then there are those intimate times alone with the Lord. No one around and maybe even late at night or some other time set aside for only you and our Lord. And that time alone is what we think is the best ever!! And it may go on for hours, yet you don’t feel our experience this all day, we must come down from the mountain tops where pride of lions are and humble ourselves by remembering and having balanced thoughts. “Dark am I, yet lovely in Christ.”
Chapter 4 starts with Solomon praising his wife’s moral excellencies on their wedding day, then showing her her inheritance, she stays humble and comes down at His calling her, her love and obedience ravishes his heart. Solomon is delighted with every area of her life, she is His, he is her king/King. There is no flaw in her and she is altogether lovely. They enjoy one of the most intimate times together thus far. They enjoy one another to their hearts content. “Drink you fill of love.” Drink your fill is the heights point in Scripture I believe in the Christian life. Imagine…. You have pretty much cleaned up your whole life and now you only have pride to keep on killing.
She get the praises and honor from Solomon which God wanted Solomon to give to her so it is written. Solomon praises her for everything she learned from Song 5:2-6:2. She learned to respond quicker to her conscience, to stay witnessing and keep high thoughts about the one that loves/Loves us to keep us humble and producing fruit for our king in his/His garden. In the middle of her recovery from her not enjoying his/his presence is the bride getting her mind back on higher thoughts of her lover/Lover. So she tells the daughters of Jerusalem about why her lover/lover is better than any other lover in Song 5:10-16. By the way guys, this is the description you want your wife to make about you. Strive to be like Solomon in marriage so that your wife thinks highly of who you are in Christ!
Her husband king came home and knocked on a locked door and she contemplates opening the door. What gets her out of her spiritual slumber is a slight view of her beloved, but it’s to late. He leaves a token of His love there for her but it’s not what she wanted she wanted him not his myrrh. She missed Him. So her heart sank at his/His departure, she knew it was her fault, she should have opened the door sooner then she would have been able to enjoy His presence and praise for opening the door. She called out to him/wisdom and he did not answer. Song 5:6-7 is just progressive misery. Withdrawing of the joy felt presence of the Holy Spirit. She goes about looking all the normal places and can’t find him/Him.
Solomon the lesser Christ was more than any other beloved!
If right thoughts of Solomon who was a lover above all others humbled her. How much more so would higher thoughts of Christ humble our hearts in a time of spiritual desertion when we want to sense his love.
Solomon was more loving than any other beloved his name was like perfume poured out. More charming than any other beloved. More wise than any other. No other higher position on earth as king of kings. The Flame of God in him burned unstoppable guided by unmeasurable wisdom 1 kings 4:29, Song 8:6.
Line up all lovers and this lover stands out among them all! He is the chief beloved, the chief among 10,000! She is queen of Israel, inherited Israel, is out of her slavery and has a husband that surpasses all other husbands in the way that he loves her and her moral beauty.
I believe the Holy Spirit chose the words in Context needed to be thought about. Meaning in Chapter 5 the word bride is repeated 6x. In Chapter one Solomon is king, but the king aspect is emphasized. In 1:7 we see the shepherd aspect of her lover.
Here in Song 5:2 to 6:3, don’t miss this because it is important to understanding this whole section. The focus is on her beloved. The word beloved shows up in nearly every verse except when she describes her beloved in the middle of this section from 5:10-16. So the emphasis is on everything that makes the one she loves better than any other lover.
Love delights in the happiness of the object of its affection. Answering the door at night would have been the best for the bride’s holiness and happiness because God would want her to open the door for her husband. A wife need not contemplate wether or not to leave her husband king outside at night when he/He wants to be with you alone at night. But
God’s love flows through Solomon to the bride. God’s love flows through Solomon to the bride in giving her the greatest surety of her peace and happiness. That would be a husband that would fulfill all her holy desires but not her greeds.
If you know you haven’t been listening to God calling you through His Word. You know it. You need only to think of the things you know you should be doing and start doing them. You know what you should stop doing so stop doing evil things. Trust that God sent His Son to bear our sins in His body at the cross for 3 infinite hours until the full debt was paid and all His Love poured out to the Father and sinful man Jesus Christ cried out “It is finished”
Other translations. Interesting how some translations go with “what kind of beloved” rather “more than any other beloved” Although Song 5:10 has her lover being “chief among 10,000.” Line up 10,000 husband lovers and her lover was chief of them all.
Song of Solomon 5:9 (NASB)
9 “What kind of beloved is your beloved,
O most beautiful among women?
What kind of beloved is your beloved,
That thus you adjure us?”
Its a comparative verse not a what kind of lover. They want a description of him that proves he is a more superlative lover when compared to others. Not necessarily what makes him special to her but what is it about him that makes him stand above the rest?
Solomon’s love to his bride was matchless. He was chief among ten thousand beloved’s. Yet Solomon’s love though it made him the best beloved of all. Still Solomon’s love is but a shadow compared to Christ’s love to His bride.
Now for the best application we argue from the lesser lover or beloved to the greater love of Christ. There has got to be a better way of doing this than I am here. I guess this is more of a comparison between Solomon’s love and the love of Christ. And the ways in which the excellency of Christ’s love is much more than that of Solomon’s, the lesser Christ.
- Christ is self sufficient. Solomon is dependent and Christ is self sufficient.
- Christ is all sufficient.
- Solomon’s love had a beginning Christ’s love is Eternal
- Solomon’s love is mutable Christ’s love to His bride is immutable
- In times of spiritual desertion the soul may feel God’s love and therefore think He has changed rather than remembering Christ’s unfailing unchanging love at the cross.
- Worthiness of love and honor. Solomon was worthy of much honor and praise. How much more worthy of our love is the Lord Jesus Christ, greater love has no one than this..
- In her description of her lover in Song 5:10-16 many words that convey the idea of purity or holiness are used. Solomon’s character was one of the finest quality. Solomon was holy to some degree yet how much more so is Jesus our Husband who we are united to is Holy, Holy, Holy. God is infinitely exalted above all created beings in holiness. Holiness is the highest sort of excellency or perfection that ever the creature attains unto; ’tis the highest beauty that shines in the creation.Now God is infinitely holy, and infinitely exalted therein, above the holy angels and all creatures; there is not the least tincture of defilement or pollution in the Deity, but he is infinitely far from it: he is all pure light, without mixture of darkness; he hates and abhors sin above all things, ’tis what is directly contrary to his nature. This, his great holiness, has he made known to us by his justice, truth, and faithfulness in all his dispensations towards us, and by the pure holiness of his laws and commands.
- Wisdom, Solomon had unmeasurable wisdom 1 Kings 4:29. Solomon was sensible that there was need of uncommon and extraordinary wisdom to rule such a kingdom as he had; but what wisdom, what vast knowledge and infinite penetration must he have, who has every being in the world to rule and govern; who rules every thought, and every purpose, every motion and action, not only of angels and men, but of every creature, great and small, even to every little atom in the whole creation, and that forever and ever? What infinite wisdom and knowledge is necessary and requisite in order to this! But this God doth; this he hath done and will do.
- Solomon’s love is superlative, this is why her beloved is more than other beloved. Solomon’s holy love was most delightful. Unstoppable, unyielding and priceless Song 8:6-7 how much more delightful, unstoppable, unyielding and priceless is the Love of Jesus Christ, His Eternal, Infinite, Majestic, sweetest most powerful flame. (Im having a real hard time trying to put words to what Im thinking. I see Solomon and He is a type of Christ. Similar to Jesus in many ways. How is Solomon’s action to his wife similar to Christ’s love to His Bride? Like the bride really wanted to please her husband, then how much more so should we desire to please the more Beautiful King Jesus our Savior, Husband and Friend.)
- Solomon’s power. Solomon’s army. Ability to keep his wife safe from enemies was matchless. The best of best war horses were imported. Solomon inherited David’s fighting men. Now how much more so is the power of Jesus Christ. God infinitely exceeds all created beings in power. If we look at might and strength, where can we find another being that can cause a great world to be or not to be, at a word, when he will; that can do everything that he pleases with infinite ease; that can manage a world, and keep all the various parts of it in such orderly and harmonious motion, who can manage such great bodies as the sun, moon, and stars, and can give what laws to them he pleases?
Her beloved was more loving than any other beloved. Yet there still is an even better lover than the lesser messiah it is the Greater Christ.
No husband loves like Christ. The Lord says to the people, “I have loved you,” and they say, “In what way have you loved us?” (Mal. 1:2). But we cannot say to Christ, “In what way have you loved us?” Christ has given real demonstrations of his love to his spouse. He has sent her his Word, which is a love-letter, and he has given her his Spirit, which is a love-token. Christ loves more than any other husband:
- Christ puts a richer robe on his bride: “For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.” (Isa. 61:10). In this robe, God looks on us as if we had not sinned. This robe is as truly ours to justify us, as it is Christ’s to bestow on us. This robe not only covers but adorns. Having on this robe, we are reputed righteous, not only as righteous as angels, but as righteous as Christ: “that we might be made the righteousness of God in him” (2 Cor. 5:21).
- Christ gives his bride not only his golden garments but his image. He loves her into his own likeness. A husband may have a dear affection for his wife, but he cannot stamp his own image on her. If she is deformed, he may give her a veil to hide it, but he cannot put his beauty on her. But Christ imparts “the beauty of holiness” to his spouse: “Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you,” (Ezek. 16:14). When Christ marries a soul, he makes it fair: “You are all fair, my love” (Song 4:7). Christ never thinks he has loved his spouse enough till he can see his own face in her.
- Christ discharges those debts which no other husband can. Our sins are the worst debts we owe. If all the angels should contribute money, they could not pay one of these debts, but Christ frees us from these. He is both a Husband and a Surety. He says to justice what Paul said concerning Onesimus, “But if he has wronged you or owes anything, put that on my account.” (Philem. 1:18).
- Christ has suffered more for his spouse than ever any husband did for a wife. He suffered poverty and ignominy. He who crowned the heavens with stars was himself crowned with thorns. He was called a companion of sinners, so that we might be made companions of angels. He was regardless of his life; he leaped into the sea of his Father’s wrath to save his spouse from drowning.
- Christ’s love does not end with his life. He loves his spouse for ever: “I will betroth you to me forever” (Hos. 2:19). Well may the apostle call it “a love which passes knowledge” (Eph. 3:19).
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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.
I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.
I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.
If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28
I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.
If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.
Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.
About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.
As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.
Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.
I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.
I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.
I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.
I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.
I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.
I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.
California at age 26.
I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.
One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.
By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.
I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."
So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.
After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.
I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.
I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.
I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.
The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.
About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.
I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.
Then this life changing advice came:
A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.
In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.
I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.
About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.
I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.
So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.
I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.
Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.
About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.
Then a mission trip to Croatia.
Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.
About 3 years saved now.
I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.
Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.
I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.
Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.
My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!
I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.
God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.
First scripture I ever received chapter 5 this is so revealing am understanding somewhat although I have to read it again and again to fully comprehend if I will.
I will pray for you, let me know if you have questions. I love to help!