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Sweetest Most Intimate Delicacies

The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
    and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
    that I have stored up for you, my beloved.”   Solomon’s Song of Songs 7:13

In this text, the bride after being married for some time, has learned to give herself completely to her husband and no longer doubts his love to her.  They have become really close, their hearts are one and they are likeminded.  She is about to talk to him about the special times in which their love for each other brought them together.  Every situation, thought, feeling, word or action that brought them together is here compared to a delicacy.  And she is about to share with him every one of them for she says to him that

at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved.”

An “old delicacy” that she has stored up in her mind include the thoughts and feeling she had for him that he wouldn’t know unless she told him.  She is about to share with him.  They are the sweetest times they have had together and some hard times that brought them even closer.  Not only does she have som past sweet intimate times that she says are “old” to share with him, she also some more current ones that she has not shared with him as of yet, for they are called “new“.  She also has some new thoughts and feelings she has had that have brought her closer to him that she has not shared yet but is about to.

A major theme if not the ultimate theme of Solomon’s Song of Songs is intimacy in marriage.

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Intimacy is close familiarity or friendship; closeness.
The couple in the love Song are close because they share their thoughts and feelings both new and old with each other.  Then it is the role of the husband to shepherd her heart.  To draw her heart closer to God and thus closer to himself.  Yet she has to sincerely share with him her thoughts and feelings in order for him to shepherd her heart for it is the wellspring of life and needs to be guarded above all else.

Intimate times are those times that are shared between a husband and wife that only they know about each other and are either not shared or rarely shared with anyone else.

One really unique feature of Solomon’s Love Poem is that we get to know what happened in the most intimate times of Solomon’s relationship with his wife!!

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We get to know what was going on in her heart during the most emotional times that drew her closer to her husband!!

Many but not all the verses in the Song are in the first person.  Meaning they are written from the woman’s perspective.   Which has lead some to believe the Love poem was written by a woman.  It’s like she is talking to us, letting us know her most intimate thoughts about the one she loves.  She lets us know whats in her mind and in her heart.

First person speech is often in the movies or books.  The main reason is that if only the external events of the situation are explained then it may be difficult to know what is truly going on in the hearts of the characters.  Generally, first person speech is often used to help the reader understand “extra ordinary” thoughts and feelings of the main characters that you couldn’t get by just watching them or hearing a narrative.

In Solomon’s Song of Songs we get to look into the heart of a woman being loved by the greatest type of Christ alive!!  We get to know what she is thinking and feeling!! What a high privilege we have!!  It blows my mind everyday and I have been studying this everyday for over 15 years.  Usually intimate feelings and thoughts are only shared with the husband, but here we get front stage passed to one of the most intimate relationships in the whole Bible apart from God’s relationship with Israel and Christ’s relationship with His Bride.

The nagging question that I have had for years until now was “How did Solomon know what she was thinking and feeling so that he wrote them down in the Love Poem?”

Solomon wrote the Song but yet the woman speaks in the first person many times.  Since the Song is often from the perspective of the woman, some interpreters have strongly believed that the Love Poem was written by Solomon’s bride and not Solomon.   Or I have thought that maybe that God who knows everything told Solomon and then he wrote it.  Or maybe Solomon just came up with a most beautiful Song that illustrates love and intimacy in marriage and the characters aren’t real but made up.  Or maybe she told Solomon her thoughts and feelings and Solomon wrote them down.  Maybe, maybe, maybe and maybe.   I wanted to prove the answer from the text but couldn’t for years until now.   I want the truths I tell you to come from the text itself and until now.  Before I let you have the answer, lets look at a few of those verses so you get an idea of what Im talking about by showing you some of those verses.

First person verses from the woman’s perspective.

Since there are some verses that could have been spoken out loud at the time I will start with verses that are clearly in the first person.  Meaning these words, thoughts and feelings that the woman had at the time that were in her heart but not said out loud at the time that she had them.

12 “While the king was around,
    my perfume spread its fragrance.
13 My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh
    resting between my breasts.
14 My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
    from the vineyards of En Gedi.”  Solomon’s Song of Songs 1:13-14

So the context is that they are both young.  Since she is a sunburnt Gentile slave girl she doesn’t want to be stared at, judged or shunned by the daughters of Jerusalem. Solomon was just anointed king.  She wants kisses from him. She ardently and eagerly wants him to be her husband as soon as possible because being loved by a king with a reputable character would be more delightful than wine.

Looking at him with “Doves eyes” 1:15, she wants to be near him and no longer in slavery working under the hot sun she asks the boy, shepherd and king in cogency with David, “Where he rests his flock at noon”  so she can be with him where he is and experience the peace and rest he has out of the sun at noon.

Her pursuit of him is praiseworthy.   She is swift, fearless and beautiful in her pursuit of a closer more intimate relationship with Solomon that the compliments her for it and lets her know that her inner more beautiful character is what he adores most along with her stunning external beauty.   He lets her know that she is most desirable and precious to him because of the kind of woman she is.  The whole time he is praising her she is having thoughts and feelings about him that she doesn’t say out loud but lets us know what is in her heart.

So “While the king was around my perfume spread its fragrance” is context or narrative that is also in the first person.  First person narrative because of the word “my“.  “my perfume”

Perfume attracts and pleases.  It is her perfume.  She wants to  attract him to her and pleases him.   It is a time for love and she is pleasing him with her words and actions in courtship.  In her words “Under the apple tree I aroused you”  8:5.  What he had that attracter her to him and pleased her was who he was and what he was like.  “His name was like perfume poured out“.  What she had that attracted him to her was who she was and what she was like.  The bride has a very clear idea of the analogy between perfume going forth and the hearing of the name of a person that is highly exalted and reputable.  Both are pleasing to her.  So also is the going forth of her character.  Him seeing her in action pleasing him like the smelling of her fragrance pleases him.

I say this because where does a poor Gentile slave girl get expensive perfume from?  There is no indication that Solomon gave it to her, which is possible but not mentioned.  More than likely she is talking about her character that is being complimented.  Her character like a swift, fearless, powerful and valuable mare in battle was going forth in her thoughts, feelings, words and actions while the king was around.  That going forth of her character was her perfume, what attracted him to her.  Its what went out by her words and actions, caught the attention of the shepherd king, drew him to her and drew out his love to her expressed in praises of her character.  She pleased him with what she was saying and doing.

While the shepherd king was around praising her it was like her perfume going forth, him delighting in it and then he expresses his feelings about her as he notices her praiseworthy character.  So she speaks in first person narrative.

While the king was around my perfume spread its fragrance

Notice also that she says “my” 4 times in the section.  This clearly lets us know that it is first person narrative.  “My perfume”  “My breasts” “My beloved” and again “My beloved” that in in Song 1:12-14.

So if you think of it like a play which it was highly likely that the whole Song could be acted out.  The girl would be looking at him with doves eyes, not saying anything but another voice is heard.  A voice of a woman speaking letting us know what she is thinking and feeling.

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So she enflamed with true love and googly eyed.  Looking into his eyes as we hear a female voice in first person narrative say Song 1:12-14.

The sunburnt shepherd slave girl is talking to the shepherd king and says out loud wanting to be where he is, “Where do you graze your flock…”  and he answers out loud, “If you do not know most beautiful of women, follow the tracks of the sheep…”  and goes on to praise her inner and outer beauty out loud.  All the while she is thinking he is so valuable and precious to her that she is willing to give up her life in order to have him close to her heart.  For she says, “My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts.”  Then still she does not speak out loud after he praises her and she goes on letting us know whats in her mind and heart.  He is in her mind in in her heart!  After he praises her, all she can do is think about pleasing him and having high and loving thoughts of him.  Everything he says and does is holy, lovely and beautiful like looking at a cluster of henna blossoms.  So she, in first person narrative, lets us know what in her heart just after he adores her, she adores him saying,

My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
    from the vineyards of En Gedi.” 1:14

So my question here is, “How did Solomon know her thoughts and feelings so that he could write the Love Poem from her perspective, in the first person?”

The answer is that she told him her thoughts and feelings after they were married!!  Then Solomon composed the Love Poem knowing what she was thinking and feeling during the most intimate times of their relationship.  Her first time seeing him and how she felt.  Their first date.  His proposal.  Their engagement.  Wedding and wedding night. One of the most intimate times after marriage.  These are the sweetest most intimate delicacies of their relationship.  And we get to know what it felt like for her to be loved by the greatest husband alive, who was “chief among ten thousand other beloveds” 5:10 and “altogether lovely” 5:16

Yes, God the Holy Spirit could have revealed to Solomon what her thoughts and feelings were and it is somewhat possible that the Poem was made up but here in Song 7:13 we have the bride herself letting us know that she shared stored up thoughts and feelings for him that she hadn’t shared yet with him.  This lets us know how Solomon knew her thoughts and feelings and then wrote the Song from her perspective after the two were heart to heart and likeminded.  He knew her so well that he was able to wisely piece it all together to make his best love Song ever.

Enter in Solomon’s Song of Songs 7:13 for our answer.

The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
    and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
    that I have stored up for you, my beloved.”   Song 7:13

Every delicacy that was old would refer to one of the sweetest and most delight conversations they had in courtship that drew them closer to each other.

First person verse speaking of herself. 2:1

Possible 1st person verses in the context of conversation Song 1:2-4, 1:17. 2:3-4. 2:8-13, 2:16-17

First person narrative with him painfully away from her. Song 3:1-4

Then you have the wedding narrative in Song 3:6-11.

Then the wedding night.  They are alone again and he adores her beauty and he talks to her in private saying Song 4:1-15  Then ask yourself “who is she talking to in Song 4:16?”   Or is she silent and only thinking or praying it in her mind?

Awake, north wind,
    and come, south wind!
Blow on my garden,
    that its fragrance may spread everywhere.
Let my beloved come into his garden
    and taste its choice fruits.

Then you have first person narrative from Song 5:2 all the way to 5:7.  Also in 6:11-12, 8:10-11, 8:14.

My conclusion

How could Solomon write a love poem mainly from a woman perspective that is in the first person?  The bride shared her thoughts and feelings with Solomon then he wrote them down in poetic form to share with all of Israel so that couples could learn how to love each other and get closer by sharing their most intimate thoughts and feelings with each other like they did.

It is of utmost importance to share your most intimate thoughts with your spouse?

Husbands,

you must be trust worthy and sensitive to her thoughts and feelings otherwise she will not share them.  You must be of a good reputation.  Sincere.  Live a life according to Scripture and be trust worthy.  Any woman who shares her feelings must feel safe doing so like “a dove in the cleft of a rock” feels safe Song 2:14.

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With out the sharing of the most intimate thoughts and feeling the two of you can’t become heart to heart nor like minded if you don’t share whats in your mind.  Husbands must be wise and loving so that they can shepherd her heart.  Its your role in the relationship and take the lead by having a loving and faithful character then sharing your thoughts and feelings first, by your sweet words and loving actions.  And don’t lie but be sincere.

Christians

See how beautiful it is for them to share their most intimate thoughts and feelings with each other!!  How much more beautiful would it be for you to sincerely share your most intimate thoughts and feelings with Jesus!!  He wants you to share them with you more than you do with Him!!  Think about that and be intimate with Jesus!!

Remember Jesus hates sin but loves to hear your sweet voice because it is cleansed in his blood.  Go to him in your sin and he will free you from it.  Don’t wait to be intimate until your life is clean, go to him to get it clean!!  Go without money.  Go without good works!  Go be sincere and intimate with Jesus!!  Share with Him what you are thinking and feeling.  He will listen, He knows your thoughts and feelings but you must share them with Him.

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Non believers

You do not have an intimate relationship with Jesus.  You have no clue what it feels like to be intimately loved by Jesus.  You have an intimate relationship with your sin.  You will not repent.  Your happy in your sin and would do more of it if allowed.  You have secret sins no one knows about but God.  You will go to hell for your relationship with sin.  You will suffer eternally if you do not repent.  God to Jesus, God’s Son, whom He sent to suffer in your place.  Trust that you cant do enough good for God to accept you into His Kingdom.  You must have an intimate relationship with Him now in order to have the fuller most intimate relationship with Him in heaven.  Know that Jesus lived a perfect life and that you can have His perfect life credited to your account as if you lived His life.  Then God will treat you as if you had lived His life and will draw you closer to Himself by His love.  You will experience what it is like to be loved by God through Jesus, who’s love is more delightful than any other experience in the world!!

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As God’s ambassador, God and I beg you to sincerely confess your sins.  Tell Him about all the things you feel guilty for.  Tell Him you fear punishment because of your wicked thoughts, feelings, words and actions then trust that Jesus paid that punishment for you so then you don’t have to fear being punished the day you die and are judged.  Read your Bible daily and obey!!

mostsublimesong View All

Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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