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Drawn by Love

Draw me after you, let us hurry.”  Solomon’s Song of Songs 1:4

The Bride to be desires Israel’s king who had a good reputation and who’s love was more delightful than wine to draw her closer to him by his delightful love and coming Christ like character.

In Song 2:8-2:14  Solomon draws his future bride closer to himself.  He proposes to her, works out some issues and they get engaged.  From complete separation due to enmity to her submitting to him as king then accepting him as her shepherd, then a first date that ends with her passing out in his arms overwhelmed by his love in the banquet house 1:7-2:6.

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“Take me to the banquet hall and let your banner over me be love.” 2:4

 

Then because he loves her he desires to be married so he sweetly proposes to her in 2:8-13.  All the while drawing her by his most delightful love.

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What will we learn?  Men courting will learn how to draw the one they love closer.  Christians will learn how to have a closer more intimate relationship with Jesus Christ!

But first we need to understand some context of Song 2:8-13.

They are not engaged yet but will be in 2:16.  They went on a wonderful first date in 1:7-2:6.  The Love Song was written so that we could learn more about love thus learn more about God for God is love.

The bride to be desires a close intimate relationship with Israel’s Messiah in marriage in Song 1:2-4.  Solomon is a Messiah or anointed king of Israel and the greatest Type of Christ alive.  All the single ladies desire to be the wife of Israel’s anointed king.  Her words are “Draw me after you…” 1:4

Not only does she want to be drawn by the delightfulness of the experience of God’s Love through union and communion with her king but she desires it as fast as possible for she says,  “Let us hurry.”  1:4

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She is like a beautiful, swift mare in pursuit of the one she loves.

No need to wait around looking for a better qualified husband for Solomon had Love, the Flame of God in him. 8:6  and also he was gifted with unmeasurable wisdom, therefore he had the skill to love her.  guided by heavenly wisdom 1 Kings 4:29 he was capable of drawing her closer better than any other husband 5:9-10.

Just like Jesus Christ is always wanting a closer more intimate relationship with us more than we desire intimacy with Him, so also Israel’s Messiah desired a closer more intimate relationship with his bride to be whom he was courting.

Solomon proposed to his future bride in Song 2:8-13 with these words

Listen! My beloved!
    Look! Here he comes,
leaping across the mountains,
    bounding over the hills.
My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.
    Look! There he stands behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
    peering through the lattice.
10 My beloved spoke and said to me,
    “Arise, my darling,
    my beautiful one, come with me.
11 See! The winter is past;
    the rains are over and gone.
12 Flowers appear on the earth;
    the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
    is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree forms its early fruit;
    the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
    my beautiful one, come with me.”

Some things to take notice of are 1.  They are apart and he is coming closer expressed in the words “Here he comes”  2.  He is coming in a manner in which he is using his skill in overcoming great difficulties that separate the two from each other.  For he is coming closer “leaping across the mountains, bounding over the hills like a gazelle or a young stag.”  Wisdom to do so.   Degree of love is illustrated by his willingness to overcome those great difficult mountains in order to be near the one he loves.  3.  The one with the skill is her beloved.  She loves him.  4.  He calls her to arise and come away with him or in other words to marry him 2x.  2:10, 13.  5.  He calls her closer at the right time. 6:11-13.  6.  He calls her using sweet words, “My darling”, “My love”, “my beautiful one”.

You would think that when the most wise and loving king of Israel proposes that the woman would immediately accept, but she doesn’t.

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She has some issues and he needs to use his skill and love to overcome them and draw her closer because he loves her and she loves him, she just has some foxes that need being caught that are keeping the relationship from blossoming.

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Love desires the strictest union with the one it loves.  Here Solomon, Israel’s current Messiah and king, proposes to the one he loves.

If you read Song 2:8-13 then read 2:14 where the one she loves is asking his dove to show him his face and let him here her voice for her face is lovely and her words are sweet.   He just proposed to her and yet there is no immediate answer.  Its like she leaves him hanging and he says, well give me an answer.  She is not speechless and can’t answer.  Though she is not looking at him and not answering immediately.  She needs some coaxing.  Or rather she needs him to draw her closer by loving her in this situation.

Something is holding her back from responding with a quick, “Yes I will go away with you.”  Or “I will marry you”.  They are engaged a few verses later in 2:16 but right after the proposal and before the engagement they have some issues that need to be resolved.  Called “foxes”.   The foxes separate the two lovers.  The foxes keep her from responding positively to his advances.

She desired him, but there is an obviously huge maturity gap between the two.

So how does the wisest king, Israel Messiah draw the spiritually immature one he loves closer to himself?  As a suitor he is perfectly able due to his love to God and her to draw her closer.  Guided by wisdom he says to her as she is silent with her face away and in a safe place,

14  “My dove in the clefts of the rock,
    in the hiding places on the mountainside,
show me your face,
    let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet,
    and your face is lovely.

Here she gets the answer to her deepest desire.  She desired for him to draw her after him in 1:4 and now he sweetly, lovingly, gently, patiently, in purity and understanding sincerity calls her closer once she feels she is in a safe place.

After verse 2:14 she answers him in verse 2:15 and says,  “Catch for us the foxes…”  that are ruining the intimacy in the relationship.  Or that are ruining the relationship from moving forward.

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They agree to work on destroying the enemies of the relationship.  He gives himself to her and she gives herself to him and then get engaged in 2:16 for she rejoices proclaiming,

My beloved is mine and I am his.”

My dove in the cleft of the rock in the hiding places on the mountain side

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He calls her closer by his love.  Love waits.  Love desires the object of its affection to feel safe and not fear harm.  Love communicates best when she feels safe.  Remember she didn’t answer him right away.  She fears something so she flies off to some place safe.  Now she feels safe in the cleft of the rock.  She is not in a cleft of a rock literally.   The point is that doves in a cleft of a rock are safe, comfortable and not threatened by danger.  Therefore before asking to see her face and have her sincerely talk to him to let him know why she didn’t respond to his advances he patiently waits until she feels she is in a safe place, for love is patient.  She doesn’t feel threatened or that he is out to harm her but she feels protected and out of harms way, like a dove in the cleft of the rock.

 

Use of application for those in courtship.

Men in courtship.  There is a right time for proposal.  The woman you are courting needs to feel safe and not threatened by your advances.  The timing of your courtship must be right.  Metaphorically, speaking it must be after “the rains are over and gone” and season of “singing is here” and love is in the air 2:10-13.  Don’t propose in the middle of everything going wrong and true love is not in the air.  Some issues in 1:2-2:7 need to be resolved before proposal 2:8ff.  Like she has to desire to be married 1:2-4, other’s should approve of his Christlike character for his “name” should be like perfume poured out to everyone that knows him 1:3.  Nobody is staring or judging current remains sin. 1:6.   Do each have a Biblical testimony? 1:5-6  etc. Go here for other things that should be in place before proposal.

Wait till the cooing of doves in heard in the land, meaning are you and her flowing, loving each other, working things out Biblically, communicating, growing under trials etc.

Even though she doesn’t quickly respond, his desire or love for her moves him to sweetly get her to talk.  He sweetly initiated the conversation that would move the relationship forward to a stricter oneness or union in the relationship through engagement.

The king of peace kept the bond of peace in the union and not enmity by his Love to God and her.  Letting her know how he feels about her face and voice draws her closer to him.  He loved to see her face and hear her sweet voice.  Letting her know how he feels about her looks and the sound of her voice in the context of her feeling safe draws out the sincerity of her voice and for him to see the beauty of her face as she talks to him.  He later specifies the beauties of it in 4:1-3 but for now he just generally says her face is lovely or beautiful to him and he desires to see it in sincere conversation.  He wants to look into her beautiful doves eyes and here what she says about his earnestly desiring to be in a stricter union with her.   Only love could draw them closer.

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Show me your faceFor your face is lovely

Her Beauty is what he is after,  he wants to see her beauty.  She is the most beautiful woman. 1:8.   She knows she is lovely 1:5.  But now she is looking more intently on the dark side.  She is viewing all the foxes in her life that will separate her from him.  She loves him and desires to be near him and close to him, yet there are foxes in her life that would keep the relationship from blossoming.  She needs to know that he will do his part in the relationship to destroy their enemies.  The root cause of all their sins are unbelief, pride and selfishness.  These dark shadows must flee and fade away in order for the two to love each other in marriage Biblically.

Love is sincere. Rom. 12:9.   One of her moral beauties is the sincerity of her heart in conversation in the context of dealing with things that keep the relationship from blossoming.  She needs help and if they are united in love she will desire for him to do his part in drawing her closer.  Expressing his love for her by catching the foxes that ruin the relationship from growing closer.

What are those foxes?  Our flesh or sin which separates us from God for God is love.  If love is the bond of peace then do nothing to separate that bond.  Sin sparks enmity and love sparks joy and peace in the relationship.

Jeremiah 31:3

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
    I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”

John 6:44-45
“No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him”

She only drew near to the king of peace because God was drawing her to Himself through her union and communion with Israel’s Messiah.

 

Application for the believer

“let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.”
Your heavenly Bridegroom Jesus Christ loves to see your beautiful face and here your voice much more than Solomon desired to have his wife arise and come away with him.  Jesus Christ is the greater lover.  The skill the king of peace had to draw his bride closer by his love and faithfulness is nothing but a shadow, a reflection of the Skill the King of kings had, has and will continue to have in drawing us by His Love and Faithfulness.
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How does God draw us closer to Himself by His Love.  By us understanding it by tasting it.  Experiencing it.  Us always being mindful of it.  Like David did otherwise he would have been in “fault” and not “blameless” 26:1
“…for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.”  Always.  Mindful.  Your. Unfailing Love…
Husbands like Hosea 3:1, were Hosea was to love his wife as “YHWH loved the Israelites.”
The LORD sincerely loved Israel and kept His promises.  He build a pattern or illustrated His love to Israel by giving Himself to them, making promises and keeping them 1 Kings 8:56.  He was their LORD, the promise keeping , covenant keeping God.   He was their God and they were His.  Their beloved God was theirs and they were His.
Take not also of the irresistible nature of Solomon’s love to his bride.  It calls her to himself.  He is hers and she is his due to their love to one another.

So how does Jesus love the Church similar to how the king of peace loved his bride?
1.  Know that you are safe to draw near to God in Christ.  Your a dove in a safe place “in the cleft of the” Rock Jesus Christ.
2.  Know that you have been washed clean and that you are holy and more lovely on the inside than the bride was on the out.
3.  Know that Jesus Christ loves to here your sweet voice.
1.  Know that you are safe to draw near to God in Christ.  Our safe place is Jesus Christ.  When our sin is ever before us and we see the dark sinful side of ourselves and know that these things keep us from responding to Jesus Christ wanting a closer more intimate relationship us more than Solomon did with his bride.  More than.  See the holy desire Solomon had for her.  The holy Jealousy 8:6.  See the strength of it.  He asks her 2x to “Arise and come away”  He waits till the right time.  He calls her the sweetest names.  He uses poetic language.  He loves her faithfully and keeps his promises.  Jesus is Greater than Solomon Matt. 12:42  His Love is Greater.  Solomon’s love failed “when he grew old” 1 Kings 11:4

2.  Know that you have been washed clean and that you are holy and more lovely on the inside than the bride was on the out. “My Dove”  Dove speaks of love, holiness and purity.

Don’t believe and obey lies but believe and obey the Truth about God’s Character, Jesus Christ and the way of salvation and sanctification, for unbelief will separate you from God and His Love thus keeping you from a closer more intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

“Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.”
The point is that Jesus desires a closer more intimate relationship with you than you do with Him and He will sweetly call you closer when you first feel you are safe and not feel as if He will punish you for your sins.
Imagine confessing you have offended God at the same time knowing you deserved Him to pour out all His Anger on you and not knowing that God poured out His Anger on Jesus Christ when he bore our sins in His Body on the cross.   When Jesus was calling Peter closer by revealing His Glory to him, Peter said “Away from me for I am a sinful man”  Jesus desiring for Peter to be closer revealed His Glory to Peter and Peter feared punishment for he was a sinful man.  So Peter pushed Jesus away.  “Away from me for I am a sinful man”
3.  Know that Jesus Christ loves to here your sweet voice.  Your prayers are sweet.  Your sincere confession of sin is sweet to Him.  He loves to here your confession but hates the sin.  He commands you to confess.  What Jesus Commands is what he delights in when you do it.  Worship is sweet to Him in Christ.  Praise is sweet to Him.  He loves to hear your voice.  Him hearing your voice is you drawing near to Him and He will draw near to you.

Of all the husbands that could draw their wives closer to themselves, Jedidiah, God’s beloved son, the king of kings, Solomon, to whom peace belongs, son of David, Israel’s Messiah, gifted with unmeasurable wisdom loved his wife.  He was the chief lover  above 10,000 other husband’s 5:10.  Solomon was chief husband, king, friend and beloved above all others.  Jesus’ is Greater bar far.  His Eternal, unfailing love to His Bride is greater than Solomon’s.  Solomon was only a type of Christ.  Jesus is the Anti-type who will fulfill God’s promises to the fullest.

 

 

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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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