1 Make Each Other Happier than Wine!
Love delights in the happiness of the object of its affection, so husbands ought to say and do things that make her happier than anything else for love is more delightful than wine.
Love is jealous for the holy happiness of the beloved.
1st thing of 50 that shows up in Solomon’s Song of Songs as it relates to getting closer to the one you love is an adjective that describes the experience of being intimately loved by Israel’s newly anointed Messiah.
Being Loved Makes Her Happier Than Wine.
Notice that being loved or having multiple displays of affection by the one she loves makes her happy more than wine.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his lips, for your love is more delightful than wine.” Solomon’s Song of Songs 1:2
See how he drew her closer to himself. What is it about his love that made her desire multiple displays of intimate affection from him?
Read it again and ask yourself why she wanted to be kissed on the lips over and over again?
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his lips, “for” your love is more delightful than wine.”
The word “for” helps us to know why she wanted to be kissed by the king over and over again, in a hurry, in his chambers. What comes after the word “for” lets us know why she wanted to be shown affection by the newly anointed Messiah of Israel.
Answer: The superlative degree of the delightfulness of his love makes her want more.
His love is more delightful than wine. The reason she wants to experience his love and affection is because it is better than wine. She gets pleasure and delight from wine. She knew the delightfulness of the experience of drinking wine and she knew that being kissed over and over again by the coming king of peace would be more delightful than wine.
In her mind she is comparing the feelings she would have from Israel’s newly anointed Messiah kissing her and the feelings she gets from wine. She compares the two and comes to the conclusion that multiple display of affection from him “is better than wine“.
She desires him because the experience of his loves is better than wine.
The superlative strength of his love.
So here we see that the superlative strength of his love lies consist in its sweetness and delightfulness being sweeter than anything else.
She desires his multiple displays of affection because it feels better than anything else.
He is desirable to have as a lover because his love is more delightful than wine.
In order for him to draw her closer by his love, he must love her with a love that is more delightful than other delights. Therefore the title, “Make her happier than anything else.” Why? Because a love that has strength to unite is more delightful than wine.
You want to be closer to your spouse then love them with a love that is more delightful than anything else (except a love relationship with Jesus Christ).
True loves ability to unite is due to it be more delightful than other things. So we could say that true love is addicting in a good sense. The experience of true love is addictive due to it being more delightful than other things.
Why is true love more delightful than other things?
1 It comes with no quilt. The experience of being loved is a pleasure God commands. Husbands love your wife as Jesus Christ loved His Bride. God commands the husband to love his wife so that she could experience God’s love through the loving things he says and does for her. Therefore love is more delightful because experiencing it pleases God, therefore the experience comes with no guilt buy rather moral pleasure or delight in knowing you are doing or receiving something God delights in, for God is Love and delights in any manifestation of his Glory or Holy Character. Love is a characteristic of God and is His Essence. She feels no quilt when God manifests Himself to her by the loving actions of her king/husband.
2 True love delights in holy experiences. True love is motivated by the holiness of the action, for holiness consists in love to God and others. An experience of love from the greatest type of Jesus Christ alive would be a holy experience. Love is the fulfillment of the Law of God, therefore to love is a holy action that pleases God. Love not sinful lust pleases God.
Profitability of the Love Song to teach us about love.
How do these verses help us understand loves strength?
How do these verses help us see the strength of love in word or action?
Loves Jealousy is as cruel as Sheol
Jealousy desires the good of the beloved, Love is cruel in that it hurts to see your loved one suffer.
Jealousy desires full possession of the beloved.
Jealousy desires the deepest expressions of love.
Love is a flame above all other flames
High Speed pursuit.
Brightest Holy Light. Illuminating her mind to the truths of the Messiah/king in a way in which she delights in him.
Love is unquenchable. It’s enemies can’t stop it. From this verse/verses why do you think her/his/their love can’t be stopped?
Could their love be quenched by great and intense manifestations of love? Could love be quenched by to much love? Is it possible for a person to be loved to much? Like if you overdid it it would cause separation rather than closeness. Is it possible to experience God’s love through someone in a way that drives us further from Him and other’s? No, for love has strength to unite.
What kind of value would you put on her/his their love? Priceless!! Could you pay everything you have to get the love described? No, for
“If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.” Song 8:7
In order to draw her closer to you, you must make her happier and happier. You must make her happier than anything else, for true “love is more delightful than wine!”
1 What makes my wife happy?
2 How can I make her happier? How can I improve the intensity or degree of her happiness?
3 How can I improve the duration of her happiness?
4 How can I improve the frequency of her happiness?
Happiness and delight are feelings or emotions that are felt in the heart. Be sensitive to her feelings by increasing the degree, duration and frequency of your love to her.
5 What can you provide for her that would be more delightful than wine? A tree provides delightful shade and fruit. Song 2:3
6 How could you protect her and the relationship in a way that she feels it more delightful than wine? Song 2:3
7 What words could you say that would cause her to believe that you mouth was “sweetness itself” Song 5:16
8 How can I love her as Jesus Christ loves me in a way that is more delightful than wine?
9 Find your happiness in her being happy. Be happy when she is for you are jealous for her physical and spiritual good and happiness for the glory of God.
Wives and Bride of Christ
1 Desire being show affection from your husband because of the delightfulness of the experience. Feel no quilt in this. If you want to be shown love from your husband because it feels good then you don’t have a sinful motive. God does good to gratify his inclinations. God delights in the manifestation of his Character. God is love and when you sense it you get an idea of love. So to desire to feel it over and over again by way of your husband is not a bad thing. It is for the good of your soul and your relationship with God and others that you taste and see that God is good.
God is love. His holiness consists in His Love to Himself or His Son. God is Love and God delights in Himself, therefore any delight you have in the experience of being loved is a delight in God. Which is the same as a sensed partaking of his Nature. 1 Pt. 1:4
Jesus endured the cross for the Joy set before Him. It was his joy to die for them. The future salvation of their souls was a joy to Jesus Christ. He did it for the joy! Either doing or receiving for the joy of it is not a sinful motive.
2 Experience and taste the better love of a relationship with Jesus Christ. Your heart yearns for the experience of being loved. What your husband doesn’t give you God will 30, 60, 100 fold. God loves us through Jesus Christ better than any other earthly husband will.
Use of information for wives or Christians who want to be closer to Jesus
1 In a sincere, yearning, longing and never stop asking manner, ask God to show His love over and over again. She is asking for the superlative delightfulness of the experience of God’s love through the newly anointed kings actions. Nothing wrong with wanting to be loved. God loves you and has shown it many ways. Put your mind on things above. Put your mind on all the different ways God has shown you love.
2 Increase your desire to be shown love over and over again by experiencing the superlative delightfulness of it. In searching the Scriptures for the ways in which God has and is showing love to you your desire for more will increase. After asking for God to show you his love then search the Scriptures to find all the ways he has loved you. God has shown you love over and over again you need only search the Scriptures. You could do a search for the phrase “in Christ”. You are united to Jesus Christ, your Heavenly Bridegroom. Due to that love act of God in giving you to His Son and your union with Him there are many ways in which God loves us. Read Ephesian chapter 1 to get an idea of all the ways God has spiritual kissed us over and over again “in Christ“.
5 Look forward to heaven where God will give you liberty to recreate and delight yourself in the best, the purest, and most exquisite pleasures as much as you please, without restraint.
From the Love in her heart arose “desire“. She has a burning desire for him due to the superlative flame of love being in her heart.
Love is not only one of the affections, but it is the first and chief of the affections, and the fountain of all the affections. From love arises hatred of those things which are contrary to what we love, or which oppose and thwart us in those things that we delight in: and from the various exercises of love and hatred, according to the circumstances of the objects of these affections, as present or absent, certain or uncertain, probable or improbable, arise all those other affections of desire, hope, fear, joy, grief, gratitude, anger, etc. Jonathan Edwards
This is the first of 50 reasons why the two lovers in the Song got so close.
She desired the most intimate love from him which was more delightful than wine and he gave it to her.
This was the first one of 50 and Lord willing I will do all 50 in detail in the coming weeks.
1 Make sure that the other person feels as if being loved by you is one of the most delightful experiences. Husbands, make her happier than anything else does! Solomon’s Song of Songs 1:2, 2:3, 4:10
2 Have a better and better reputation so that the thought of your name is sweet to your spouse. 1:3
3 Be on the same page, run together and don’t waste time getting closer to someone who is trustworthy and like Jesus Christ. 1:4
4 Desire the closest and most intimate relationship as possible. 1:4
5 Be humble and have a right view of yourself for pride separates but love and humility will unite. 1:5, 2:1
6 Don’t judge a born again person based on their past life. Love forgives and keep no record of wrongs 1:6
7 Focus on doing your part or role in a Biblical relationship.
He is her shepherd/king. He shepherd her heart closer to God and himself. 1:8-9 She is to “follow” his lead. 1:9. He is to be a good shepherd so that she delights in following 2:16. He is to provide Song 2:3. He is to protect. 3:7. He is to continually woo her closer Song 2:10-13. He is to give himself completely to her and for her and she is to reciprocate that love 2:16. Her greatest happiness is to bring him contentment and fulfillment by loving him and leaning on him, Song 8:5, 10. Their role is to love God and each other with all their hearts, minds, soul and strength and they did for the love they had was as strong as death, its jealousy was as cruel as hell fire, it was a flame above all other’s, was unquenchable and priceless.
8 “An excellent wife has a husband who praises her” Prov. 31:28-30 Praise both her inner and outer beauties. Inner beauty 1:9, 4:8-10. Outer 4:1-7, 6:4-9, 7:1-6.
9 Highly value your spouse 1:9,13, 2:3, 5:10-16
10 Keep your beautiful doves eyes focused on each other 1:15 Most guys would get slapped when their woman saw their man lusting after another woman for Jealousy is as cruel as Sheol. 8:6
11 Keep your promises 1:4, 1:11
12 Get better and sweeter in conversation. 1:9-3:15, 2:13
13 Spend time together with the intent of nurturing the relationship or strengthening the bond. 1:8-9. 2:13. 7:12
14 Find happiness, fulfillment and contentment in making each other happy. 2:12, 5:1
15 Get the timing right as it relates to greater and deeper acts of intimacy. 2:7, 3:5 and 8:4
16 Stay focused on what is important during the difficult times. 2:2
17 Let the other person experience your love to the greatest degree or height. 2:5
18 Be there for her when she needs you. 2:6
19 Men, be wise by being guided by God’s Word in making decisions in your marriage and loving as you pursue a closer relationship with your spouse. Be like a gazelle on the mountain tops. 2:9
20 Say sweet things so that your mouth is like sweetness itself. 1:9-10, 2:10-13
21 Be sincere and look at each other in conversation. 2:13
22 Resolve to destroy anything inside you or outside that will keep the relationship from blossoming. 2:15
23 Since holy Jealousy is as cruel as hell fire know that you belong to each other. 2:16, 8:6
24 Shepherd her heart. 2:16
25 Under the dawn of a new day, continue to be wise and loving when painful separation is felt. 2:17
26 Be willing to do whatever it takes, according to Scripture to make the relationship work. 3:1
27 If your doing whatever you think and its still not working then get advice from other’s more experienced. 3:4
28 When you realize your mistakes don’t repeat them and hold each other tighter. 3:4
29 If you want the closest most intimacy possible in marriage you must not have sex before marriage. She is a beautiful garden locked up before marriage Song 4:15. In the Song they adorn the bride for she is a virgin, compare 1:11 with 8:8-9. Way to many thoughts can to easily provoke jealousy when either spouse has committed adultery. Adultery includes sex before marriage. Adultery includes sex in the mind before marriage. No masturbating or looking at porn or sex in marriage will not be as sweet and delightful as God intended it to be.
30 Love highly values and treasures the object of its affection, so think highly of the one you love. Song 1:13, 4:9, 5:10-16
31 The goal in the bedroom is to make each other as happy and happier as possible in a way in which both of you agree. Song 5:1, 7:9
32 He is to stay constant in his love to her so that she doesn’t doubt his love. Song 6:3
33 Both after marriage are to labor in love. Its not easy but is more of a battle yet worth it. Song 5:2-6:3.
34 Knowing that losing the connection or feeling the pain of separation breed desire for deeper closeness will help get you through the tough times in a way that the two of you get closer. 3:1-3:4, 5:2-8:5.
35 In order for her to continue desiring you and be the exemplary husband, beloved and friend, the husband should have as a primary goal for his wife to describe him as a beloved above all other’s like the bride does to her friends in Song 5:9-5:16.
36 Live a praiseworthy marriage! Song 6:9, 1:4
37 Let your love light shine in the marriage for all to see. Song 6:10
38 Be willing to fight for closer intimacy. For the road to a sweeter, happier more intimate relationship is a noble battle. 6:12
39 Even though love is the primary objective of marriage it manifests itself through being at peace with God and other’s by being a peacemaker. Strive for peace or Shalom. Her name is Shulammite, female nickname for peace. His name is Solomon, male Hebrew name for peace. Your friends, be at peace with one another. Song 6:13
40 The dance of the Mahnaim is a dance celebrating reconciliation between two parties. Seek reconciliation and celebrate it when accomplished. Song 6:13
41 Fully trust and don’t doubt the man who has proven his love to you. Song 7:10 How can you be intimate with a man that you doubt his love and desire for you. A man who has proven his love and jealousy for your good ought to be trusted.
42 Enjoy together the fruits of your laboring in love. Song 6:11-13
43 At the appropriate time share intimate thoughts and feelings that you have stored up for your beloved “both new and old“. Song 7:12-13 Doing so will help lead to further leaning on your beloved who shepherd your heart. Song 8:5
44 Love gives its best for the object of its affection. Song 8:2
45 An overall summary of the times that brought the two of you together will help strengthen the bond. 8:5
46 A right understanding of love leads to the sweetest and strictest bond of hearts, therefore strive to have a right understanding of love. Song 8:6-7
47 Do your part in keeping young women pure before marriage so that they can experience the same sweet love and intimacy as the couple in the song. Praise the virgin and board up the adulterous girl. Song 8:8-9
48 Give credit to whom credit is due. Song 8:11-12
49 When mature and as you mature in your love relationship, share your experience with other’s so that they can rejoice and delight in your love. Song 8:13
50 Never stop yearning for further closeness, more compatibility, greater and deeper acts of love. Song 8:14
Format (Note. Come up with a better format)
Quote the verse
Explain how the text relates to them getting closer
Ask questions to see how the various characteristics of love shows up in the text
Have you done and said something similar either specifically, generally or principally?
What to do? Make her ever happier.
What are some specific things you can do?
Use of information to draw us closer to spouse/Spouse.
Go to lesson 2 The man’s character must be pleasing to her. For his “name was like perfume” poured out.
mostsublimesong View All
Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.
I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.
I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.
If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28
I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.
If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.
Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.
About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.
As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.
Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.
I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.
I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.
I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.
I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.
I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.
I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.
California at age 26.
I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.
One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.
By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.
I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."
So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.
After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.
I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.
I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.
I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.
The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.
About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.
I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.
Then this life changing advice came:
A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.
In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.
I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.
About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.
I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.
So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.
I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.
Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.
About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.
Then a mission trip to Croatia.
Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.
About 3 years saved now.
I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.
Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.
I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.
Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.
My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!
I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.
God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.
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