This is the 3rd lesson of 50 lessons on how to get closer to the one you love.
“Take me away with you. Let us hurry.” Solomon’s Song of Songs 1:4 NIV
“Draw me after you, let us run together.” NASB
Lesson 3 Be on the same page, run together and don’t waste time getting closer to someone who is trustworthy and like Jesus Christ. 1:4 Work together on the same goal/s at the right pace, for how can two run “together unless they be in agreement.” Amos 3:3.
Since the two are one, the pursuit of a closer more intimate relationship must be mutual and done together.
The fire in her heart for him compelled her to express her deep desire to be drawn closer to him and for both of them to be in agreement in getting closer in a swift manner therefore she says to the newly anointed king,
“Take me away with you. Let us hurry.”
I don’t take you, you take me away with you.
It is her superlative delight in his love, pleasure she gets in his good name and ardent affections that arouse his feelings for her. Her love is strong, ardent and praiseworthy!
She wanted him to draw her to himself. They didn’t know each other and now she knows and loves him. They were acquaintances at best, until now.
She is basically saying, court me, woo me closer to you, arouse my affections for you, draw me closer, draw me after you. Take me away with you. This section of the Song is descriptive and not prescriptive. Meaning because the woman does it doesn’t mean that every single woman who loves a single man ought to ask him to draw her closer the first time they meet.
He must draw her and she must want him to in order for them to get closer. His role is to draw her closer by loving her and having a good name.
Lets look at 3 things. 1 What she wants 2 The manner in which she wants it. 3 Why did she wanted him to take her away with him in a hurry.
What does she want?
1 Him to take her away with him, or for him to woo her closer.
The flame of love in her heart causes her to want to be taken away by him whom her heart love. Another ways of putting it is “Woo me closer to you!”
What does a woman on fire for a man want according to this text?
“Take me away with you. Let us hurry.”
She is no scaredy cat. Nor is she a cautious dog, but more of a fired up strong mare in battle in her pursuit of a closer more intimate relationship with the single Messiah, who’s love is more delightful than wine and who’s name is pleasing to her like smelling his ointments.
How does she want to be taken away?
2 A. She wants the relationship to be mutual. “With him” She wants him to take her away with him. She wants out of the single life in slavery and to be taken away with him. She wants the two of them to get closer. She will run together with and to him if he were to take her away. To experience love and happiness together. She wants them both to run the race of love together and not be apart for love unites and its jealousy is cruel like hell fire. Notice the words “with you” and “us“. Among other things the degree of closeness in a relationship is dependent upon both having the most important things the same. Same love and faith. Same idea of love. Knowledge of and desire to do their Biblical role. Same goal. Same pace. In this text an important ingredient to a closer more intimate relationship is that it is done together, like the mind and body work together Song 8:6-7.
By the end of the Love Song in 8:6 the bride and the groom are heart to heart. She knows him and he knows her and they both have the same love. By the end they work so well together that she thinks of how they are one like the mind and body are one. The mind and body work together to do the will of the person. The husband and wife work together to fulfill the will of God in the marriage, which is to love.
2 B. The first manner in which she wants the relationship to be done is in a mutual manner or way. The other manner in which she wants to be taken away by him is in a “hurry”. Not only does she want to be taken away by him, she wants to be taken away in a certain manner. “With him” and in a “hurry”. She wants to run the race of love with him with battle horse speed! She knew him and his name was pleasant to her. She knew him well enough that she didn’t need to go slow or shrink back at the thought of getting closer to him. He was a holy man. He was a Messiah. He was a king. He loved God. God loved him. He was the most eligible, desirable and qualified single man alive! Therefore she need not waist any time in getting closer. Notice that it is the character and good reputation of the king that stirred up her ardent affections for him.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his lips for your love is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your ointments, you name is like ointment poured forth. No wonder you young maidens love you. Take me away with you let us hurry!”
Due to his good reputation and superlative delightfulness of his love her affection for him are ardent and urgent. She doesn’t want to waist any time.
3 Why did she have such ardent affections for him?
Not only did she love him, but also
1 The flame of love in her heart is no ordinary flame. It is a flame above all other flames, therefore the affections of her heart toward him are more so than other people or objects. She desires him most of all and above all. Her desire for him is not weak and its so strong it can’t be stopped. He will always have a place in her heart.
2 The superlative sweetness of his love made closeness with him desirable. Notice what she says about his name.
Song of Songs 1:2-3
2 “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
for your love is more delightful than wine.
3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
your name is like perfume poured out.“
3 The third reason we can see why she wanted him specifically to take her away and no other was because his “name” was pleasing to her. The pleasure she got when thinking of him and his good name enabled her to not fear getting closer in a hurry! Let’s get this show of love on the road, in a hurry, for she says, “Take me away with you. Let us hurry!”
No fear. What do we know about true love? It “love casts out fear” because fear has to do with thinking the one you are yoked to will intentionally harm you 1`John 4:18. Some women are scarred than trusting at first, then when they get to know their man the fears melt away if he is not perfect but getting more and more loving and faithful.
Why get hurt letting your heart get close to an untrustworthy man with a name more associated with a garbage smell than pleasing perfume?
“Draw me after you, lets us hurry and run together” Song 1:4
This is a “flash” of love. Song 8:6
When her heart is flaming with love she wants him to do his part in drawing her closer to himself. Which involves drawing her closer to God through Jesus as well.
When her heart is aflame and loving is flashing she doesn’t want time wasted by either person in their pursuit of a closer more intimate relationship.
When her heart is aflame she wants them to be in agreement, run together and have the feelings be mutual. She got her request because he immediately takes her to a more private location. “The king has taken me to his chambers”
She wants him to draw her closer. How does a man draw a woman closer. Sure she does mean physically but really she wants them both to be heart to heart as soon as possible because she loves him.
1 She must get to know him. The more she knows the better she can love.
2 Both must have the same idea of love.
3 His character must be pleasing to her.
How can running together happen if one is going one way and the other the other direction? Both must be “in agreement” Amos 3:3.
Both must be in agreement upon the goal and how to get there.
Be in agreement on the purpose of Marriage. To reflect God’s Glory.
When you love your spouse in Marriage God’s glory can be seen by other’s. When love is seen and God is glorified. When God’s love is seen on display and delighted in then God is more glorified then when His Glory is just seen.
The purpose of Marriage and life is to Glorify God and enjoy Him forever. The love song helps us to Glorify God by
1 First seeing His Love reflected in the marriage of a type of Jesus Christ and a Gentle salve girl. Seeing God’s Glory is possible by first seeing an outward action of Love for God is Love. Not only is the Essence of God, Love. We see love on display. A benevolent propensity of heart is exercised, not only in seeking to promote the happiness of the being towards whom it is exercised, but also in rejoicing in his happiness.
God loving. An act of Love. We see God doing a loving action. God manifested His Love to us in sending His Son. Want to see Love in Action. Think about God sending His Son. God manifests His Glory to us by us thinking about what God did? God did a loving action. He sent His Son. 1 John 4
b. His Son loving. An act of Love. We also get some idea of what love is by another action. by thinking about God, who sent His Son to die for His Bride.
Love has a certain feel to it. It is delightful. More delightful than wine.
So not only is Love, which is an attribute of God, something that can be known by thinking about a loving action, but also must be sensed or felt for in oder to know in the mind what love is, it must be sensed. So that you come away from being loved you say something like this “this is what love feels like!” “It is more delightful than wine.” Solomon’s Song of Songs
There is a sense of what it feels like that is subjection but is based on objective universal truths. What it feels like is better than any other feelings I get, even better than the feeling I get when I drink wine.
I know it in my mind and feel it in my heart for it is delightful. It comes with no quilt with fear of punishment. It comes with quilt of sin but no fear because the punishment was paid for by Him who Loves and proved it at the cross! When the Son of God felt the full punishment for all the sins of His Bride, He said,
“It is finished”
What is it about love that makes it better than other flames is because it’s delight is more delightful than wine? The experience of true love is a delight above all other delights. To know that Jesus loves you and manifested that infinitely deep love by paying the penalty of your sins. His Bride was supposed to suffer but instead He showed His love by suffering in her stead. It was infinitely painful for 3 hours while the Son of God in flesh felt separation from the love and delightful feeling and felt wrath and hatred and no good feelings for 3 hours. Why, for he loved her with a love that bond and united. He couldn’t live without her, so he died for her and drew her to himself for she was His. The Father gave her to Him. He couldn’t live with the idea of being separated from her because he was united to her in love by His Grace.
I may have gotten off track there for a while.
Anyway love is know 3 ways
1 By seeing it manifested, illustrated or on display. Someone is doing an act of love and we see it and partially now know it. In this part of Love a Robot could do an act of love but not have love. A hypocrite could do many outward acts of dying love and not have love. 1 Cor. 13:1-4. Knowledge of an action is the first ingredient of 3 in knowing what love is.
2 By sensing it in the heart. For love is delightful. Love is something you feel. It is the souls sense of the holiness of God. The holiness of God consists in love. First Love to Himself or His Son who is God’s idea of Himself. Included in God’s idea of Himself is that God is infinitely blessed, therefore infinitely happy and delighted in Himself. As God’s delight in Himself is in Him so it ought also to be in us. We ought to have a delight in God. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. A delight in the experience of being loved by God is a delight in God for God is love. Even if the action is done by man if it is a true act of love then the love came from God to the husband and the wife experiences God’s love through her husband/Husband.
I may tell you about a fruit from a far away land that tasted something like a grape, but was crunchy and less sour. You may have an idea somewhat similar to what is said it tasted like but until you taste it and know it’s superlative delight by experience then you really wouldn’t really know the taste. It must actually be felt. I mean if you felt and sensed all kinds of other delights, but there was one delight more delightful than all the other’s. You wouldn’t really know it until you sensed it’s better nature.
This delight in love is a delight in holiness. A delight in the manifestation of holiness by a loving action for holiness consists in love.
3 Love is know also by inclination. Or motives of the heart. Why you did or desired something. Love is inclined to choose to follow the will of God. In the heart is the mind, will and emotions. The mind we already talked about. In the mind are our thoughts or where knowledge is. Knowledge of the action gives us a partial idea of Love for love is not only an action but is something felt in the heart that is delightful in nature. The knowledge of the action is the objective truth and doesn’t change, the feeling is subject and can ebb and flow. Love includes a irreversible bent of the heart towards God.
God wanted me to do this and I want to please Him. or
This is a good thing to do so Im going to do it.
This will make her happy so Im going to do it.
Why will you do it? What are you inclined to do? Please God, do what is right. Make people happy because love delights in the happiness of the object of its affection.
Your will and inclination. What are you bent on doing? Getting better and better at pleasing God and living a holier and holier life with less and less sin or are you living for yourself and not changing your life. If you are living for yourself and not According to the Bible then your will or inclination is towards yourself with the exclusion of what pleases God. True love from God in the heart inclines the will to choose more and more often than not to pleases God. That inclination to please God leads to words or actions of love for love delights in the happiness of the Object of its affection. All true acts of love are outward manifestation of God’s delight in Himself.
So think of a loving action or external beauty, sense the feeling you get that is more delightful than any other experience and ask yourself when knowing the object truth and sensing something subjective are you inclined to please God or do good. Then you know what love is by definition,
For love is the “soul’s relish of the supreme excellency of the Divine nature, inclining the heart to God as the chief good.” Edwards
So I wanted to make the connection between how that when a husband loves his wife that he is glorifying God and enjoying Him. An act of true love to his wife glorifies God and is a sign that his enjoyment and delight is in God for God wanted him to display God’s love to her by loving her. Thus the attribute of God who is Love is seen and delighted in. God is glorified in His attributes on display, seen and delighted in.
In order to run the race of life and marriage both must have the same mind as to the goal in marriage and how to get there.
The goal is to Glorify God and you get to the goal by loving your spouse. So get better and better at loving each other.
Give her no reason to doubt your love for her by wooing her closer by your love and faithfulness. Don’t stop arousing her affections for you. Woo her closer. Draw her after you. Don’t stop dating after marriage. Nature and protect the relationship by drawing her ever closer to yourself. If you desire a sweet, closer and more harmonious relationship then give her no reason to question your love for her.
What are some things I have done that caused my spouse to desire to be closer to me?
What are some things that I have said or did that caused my spouse to keep at a distance? How can I make sure I either get better?
Is there something about me or my past that cause her to be afraid to get closer?
If she has trust issues, how can you help build trust in the relationship?
She wants him to woo her closer. What are the various ways in which he wooed her closer to himself in the Song?
How could I do something similar?
She wants to be with him and taken away with him and for them to run together. In what ways are you working together with your spouse?
Guys, if your woman doesn’t want to make love to you, its more than likely that you haven’t been showing her love. You haven’t been picking up after yourself or helping her around the house, remembering birthdays and anniversaries. Maybe you stopped dating her and stopped wooing her closer etc. Or you haven’t been faithful to your vows, especially to love her in the worst of times. Is this the worst of times then keep your promise, be faithful and love her by listening and doing your best to work with her in an understanding way.
Questions to answer together with the one you love
In order to run together you both must be in agreement on the most import things. The speed at which the two of you run or walk together is directly proportional to the amount of non negotiable things you are in agreement upon. The sooner you get in agreement on the fundamental and non negotiables of God, life, salvation and marriage the faster you can run together.
Do we both agree and have the same mind on the Gospel, who Jesus is, and the way of salvation?
Do we both agree on the Character of God?
Do we agree on our idea of love?
Do we agree on using Scripture as our guide?
Do we agree on our different yet Biblical roles in marriage?
Men. It is your role to lead the relationship in a manner that is consistent with Scripture. Study the Word of God together so that both of you are on the same page as to the basic fundamentals of God/Jesus, purpose of life, love, salvation, marriage and others?
In what ways to we work well together?
In what ways can we get better?
What can I do today so that we work better together to show the superlative strength of my love?
How can I run with together my spouse in a way that illustrates the priceless value of my love?
How does being in agreement on the important issues help to make the love in the relationship unquenchable?
Do all disagreements lead to separation?
The couple in the Love Song were in agreement. She wanted to be taken away with him right away and he took her right away to his chambers. Being in agreement is absolutely necessary for a harmonious relationship and getting closer to the one you love.
What things did they share that made running together possible?
They shared the same love. Song 8:6-7
They shared the same delight in love. Song 1:2, 1:4, 4:10
What does God want for people in relationships according to Phil. 2:2
be “like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.” Philippians 2:2
For in this way you both can run together. How can two run together unless they be in agreement. The speed and level of sweetness and harmony in a relationship is dependent upon being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.
If both of you are to love one another and both are to have the same mind as to what love is, how will having differing idea’s of what love is cause disharmony, disfunction, pain, disunion, walls of separation and an inability for him to speedily take her away with him?
“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” Read Phil. 2:5-8 to find out what mindset Jesus had that you should have in your relationship.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!”
In Phil. 2:3-4 in what 4 ways are we to act in our relationships that would help strengthen the bond of love?
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.“
What is the precondition in Phil. 2:1 to being able to be like minded, have the same love, be one in spirit and of one mind?
Yes, God is in control and has predetermined the speed at which you will get closer to Jesus. Jesus always does his part. Jesus always keeps his promises. Jesus will woo you closer by His love similar to how God drew Israel closer by loving them.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.“
“Think of the things that are lovely, true, noble, worthy of praise”
Dwell on the beautiful thought of a young single virgin girl on fire for holy young man who loved God and were loved by God.
Her words express the deep desire of woman on fire for her Christ.
“Take me away with you let us hurry!”
How beautiful is that!!
How lovely is that!!
How consistent with the truth of the whole matter are her emotions!! It is morally right and lovely to see a single born again woman in love with a holy man, set apart by God for special purposes, due to him being a Christ.
See the beauty and moral excellencies of the woman and man and delight in them/Them for it is a transforming thought and feeling. 1 Cor. 3:18
50 Lessons in Getting Closer to the one/One you love
3 Run Together
Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.
I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.
I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.
If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28
I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.
If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.
Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.
About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.
As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.
Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.
I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.
I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.
I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.
I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.
I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.
I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.
California at age 26.
I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.
One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.
By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.
I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."
So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.
After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.
I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.
I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.
I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.
The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.
About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.
I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.
Then this life changing advice came:
A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.
In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.
I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.
About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.
I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.
So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.
I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.
Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.
About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.
Then a mission trip to Croatia.
Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.
About 3 years saved now.
I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.
Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.
I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.
Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.
My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!
I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.
God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.