Beautify yourself for God/Christ and your husband!
Proverbs 1:8-9 “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
9 They are a garland to grace your head
and a chain to adorn your neck.”
Song of Songs 1:10 “Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels.”
This interpretation is an allegorical view. I have since changed my view and have a literal and historical view of this verse here. Love, giving and jewelry.
In other words, he is saying, “I have seen you reading your bible and obeying God’s commands, when I see you doing this your value shines like jewels!! Why?
Your understanding the doctrines of God and” applying them in your life, and oh how beautiful this is, it’s what makes her precious, highly valued and desirable to possess. She understood she needed to “follow”and she obeyed Song 1:7, then he compliments her swift fearless obedience in 1:9 as being like a mare in battle for Pharaoh which shows obedience, if you love you will obey, she obeyed her master. This type of character is beautiful, desirable in a wife, precious to have and valuable in degree of worth. The truths written on you mind and love and delight you have in them is precious and most valuable to be like Jewels that adorn your neck. It’s what I value most about you and it makes you very beautiful to me seeing the commands of God written on your heart and bound around your neck like jewels are very precious, valuable and desirable.
World Bible Commentary OT
The governing topic is the question, What enhances the woman’s beauty? The man and the chorus desire to adorn her with expensive ornaments of gold and silver. This sentiment is not bad, and it is born of love for her, but it substitutes a superficial embellishment for true adornments. She asserts rather that her desirability is enhanced by her fragrances of spikenard, myrrh, and henna and that her beauty is enhanced by the love of her lover. She gives off the fragrance of spikenard as she waits for him to come to her. She will have him, like her myrrh, between her breasts. He is like henna in that he adorns the beauty of her, the vineyard. The fragrance of these perfumes is like love itself; it is invisible but powerful and sweet. Her real adornment, she asserts, is the groom and the love she has for him.
Song of Songs 4:9-10
“You have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride;You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes, With a single strand of your necklace. v.10 How delightful is your love.”
Each loving glance she takes at him is like a beautiful strand on her necklace. Imagine a Solomon, husband king asking her to do something v.8 “Come with me..”and she looks to him in love and obeys. (She humbles herself before the leopards that haunt mountain tops get her. This is what makes his heart beat faster and steals his heart away to her! It her love and obedience to him that ravishes his heart. And in loving, obeying and submitting top her “own husband” she loves and obey God, for it is God who says to love and obey your husband. Ephesians 5:22-24
Listening to Solomon’s instructions, God’s word, His commands and not forsaking your mother’s teaching is likened to a “garland” that graces the head or a chain that adorns your neck. In Song 1:10 Solomon says “Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, you neck with strings of jewels.” Now yes, Solomon is talking about the Jewelry that was given to the poor slave girl to wear upon meeting Solomon. So she does have adorning jewels. These Jewels are also what makes her beautiful. In the Song her neck is beautiful with strings of jewels. Implying that her neck alone would not be beautiful by itself. It needs adornment then it’s beautiful. Her neck with Jewels adorns her like “listening and not forsaking God’s instruction” adorns the heart. The point of Song 1:11 is a promise, Solomon see’s her beautiful moral character consisting in love “Song 4:9-10” and basically says in 1:11 that “you are morally beautiful and I will make you more beautiful.”
Solomon in Song 1:10
is talking both about the cheeks and her neck. This is just a poetic way of saying the same thing. The point is that it’s her obedience to God’s commands that makes her beautiful, precious and valuable to him, therefore beautiful, so he praises her outer and inner beauty at the same time. Her outer beauty being only a reflection of the inner beauty of God. His moral excellency and holiness consisting in love to Himself.
1 Peter 3:3-4
3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
7“The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom;
And with all your acquiring, get understanding.
8 “Prize her, and she will exalt you;
She will honor you if you embrace her.
9 “She will place on your head a garland of grace;
She will present you with a crown of beauty.”
And do not forsake the teaching of your mother;
21 Bind them continually on your heart;
1 Timothy 2:9
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; Timothy 2:10 But (which becomes women professing godliness) with good works
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
29 “Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Proverbs 25:28 “Like a city that is broken into and without walls
Is a man who has no control over his spirit.
Is 5:7 7 “For the vineyard of the Lord of hosts is the house of Israel, and the men of Judah his pleasant plant”
2 Chronicles 10:4 “Your father made our yoke hard; now therefore lighten the hard service of your father and his heavy yoke which he put on us, and we will serve you.”
Ps 90:15 And the vineyard which thy right hand hath planted, and the branch that thou madest strong for thyself.
Arguing from Jewels to love and faithfulness or her graces and virtues
On the surface literally Solomon is complimenting her outward physical appearance, specifically her neck and cheeks. If you leave it here then your thinking something like they are at the dinner table v. 12 and she is beautified by the jewels he gave her to wear to dinner. She was a slave needing redemption 1:5-6 so where did she get the jewelry? He gave it to her. I’m not saying she wasn’t beautiful in his eyes without them but in this context he is complimenting her cheeks with earrings and her neck with strings of jewels. At this point there is no clear mention of Solomon’s intent to compliment her inner beauty. It all looks external and physical.
Notice Solomon just doesn’t say her neck is beautiful by itself. Her neck is beautiful with jewels. The jewels make her neck beautiful. He is seeing her neck and the jewels at the same time and says “your cheeks with earrings and your neck with strings of jewels”
Yet it’s not her neck and cheeks alone that make her beautiful. It is her neck and cheeks with Jewels, implying that without them she is of no worth or value. A bride adorns herself as much as possible, not overdoing it but making herself beautiful, yet how much more lovely and worthy of praise is a woman who fears the Lord, she is more precious than jewels.
So her outward physical appearance is beautiful, precious, valuable to him thus drawing out his expressions of love to her. Therefore the question arises “Is there an inner beauty of our soul that without we are not morally beautiful”? And can a proper analogy be drawn from the text between Solomon complimenting her outward beauty and Christ complimenting the inner beauty of His Bride?
Does Jesus Christ delight in our inner beauty? Our inner beauty is holiness consisting in love to God and others. Does Jesus think that our holiness is beautiful to Him? If so how, when, what and why would He thought our holiness was beautiful to Him? Our holiness is His image in us, and there is nothing more beautiful than Jesus Christ! That love to God written on our heart is the moral beauty of our inner being that is most precious and valuable to our infinitely morally excellent and holy Bridegroom King, our Lord Jesus Christ. This is true.
What great motive we have to put of sin and put on Christ and holiness and wisdom. Solomon thought his bride was beautiful with jewels. How much more beautiful and precious is her wisdom. “Wisdom is more precious than rubies. Nothing you can desire compares with possessing wisdom” Prov.
Jewels are compared to what is most valuable about her in His eyes. Her Love and faithfulness to Himself is what is most valuable to Him. This is written on her heart. Ez. 36:26
Beautiful Cheeks are symmetrical and proportionate and harmonize with the rest of the face and body.
Cheeks have thinner skin than other area’s of the body. Thin skin allows for blood to rush to the face in times of anger, blushing and even ovulation. Her holiness of heart, holy emotions express themselves in her cheeks. There is symmetry and proportion to them just like her temples they perfectly match and express emotions. There is no disunion between her cheeks and her emotions. Sincerity of heart?
Cheeks express emotions and feelings. The way she expresses her feelings toward him is beautiful with adornments. What adorns her cheeks with beauty? The ornaments. Valuable ornaments. The purpose of an ornament is to add beauty and value to the object or person adorned. Beautiful to see adorned. By themselves, the text doesn’t say how her cheeks were to him. But to him they are beautiful with earrings. “With” is a key word here. With ornaments her cheeks are beautiful. So for now we interpret Solomon to be complimenting her cheeks and earrings. Yes, he is talking about her external appearance. But again the beautiful appearance of someone’s cheeks is dependent upon wether or not holy emotions are in the heart. The cheeks can express shame, guilt and fear. In his/His presence her expressions of her feelings toward him/Him are beautifully adorned with holiness. She has a holy love. Expressed in holy joy that holy joy is what makes her cheeks precious, valuable and desirable to behold. Her cheeks are beautiful with earrings. No fear of punishment from God, no fear of the enemies of God and no fear of man therefore no shame, no embarrassment, no red expression on the cheeks for her cheeks were morally beautiful as well as physically. ( I am also thinking here about the fact that feeling shame when convicted of sin is a good thing and a proper emotion fit for a believer.) Cheeks without some expression of emotion is like a body without a soul. The shame the soul feels expresses itself on the cheeks. Cheeks with shame are opposite to moral beauty. These unholy cheeks are not beautiful.
My argument that Solomon is complimenting her moral beauty and her physical is based on a few key truths.
- You can’t separate the horse from its character and you can’t separate cheeks from their emotional expression on them also the neck seems to be the will, stiff-necked people like Israel in the dessert. A stiff-necked people would not wear ornaments.
For the Lord had said to Moses, “Tell the Israelites, ‘You are a stiff-necked people. If I were to go with you even for a moment, I might destroy you. Now take off your ornaments and I will decide what to do with you.’”
You can’t have a beautiful horse in battle unless the character of the horse is excellent. Characteristics of a horse that make it beautiful in battle for her king are that she is swift, powerful, fearless, valuable and obedient “like a mare harnessed to pharaohs chariot in battle” Song 1:9. Meaning that what Solomon is complimenting her outward appearance but you have to ask yourself why is that mare praiseworthy? What are the excellencies of pharaohs horses that were used in battle? Solomon is complimenting her virtues and holy character qualities in metaphoric language.
- Turning the head is compare to a turning to God Exodus 33:5 For the Lord had said to Moses, “Tell the Israelites, ‘You are a stiff-necked people. If I were to go with you even for a moment, I might destroy you. Now take off your ornaments and I will decide what to do with you.’” In complimenting her neck in Song 1:10 there is a compliment to her moral inner character turning toward God and away from sin. Her neck is adorned with the right bent toward God. His will is hers, He commands 1:8 she obeys and he compliments it in 1:9-10. He compliments her obedience. She wanted instruction on where he shepherds his flock and where to find rest from hard labor. He gave her motivation and instruction in 1:8 then she obeys and he compliments her expression of love by comparing the manifestations of it to a fearless mare, holy cheeks and a will full of delight in holiness or delight in God.
- Being stiff-necked is compared to resisting the Holy Spirit
Acts 7:51 “You stiff-necked people! Your hearts and ears are still uncircumcised. You are just like your ancestors: You always resist the Holy Spirit!
- Love delights in the holiness and happiness of the object of its affection. Holy love delights in holiness above all. The beauty of the soul is more important than the beauty of the physical body. Solomon is praising her noble character constant with what Proverbs 31:28-10 says. A woman who fears the Lord is worthy of praise. Solomon sang sweet praises of character, holy emotions and holy will in Song 1:9-10.
- This praising of the bride to be is not flattery for many reasons
- Sincere praise is not flattery. Viewed as Solomon praising her character will not make it flattery since Solomon is praising her noble character in accordance with Prov. 31-28-30 then this is not flattery but sincere praise. And she is worthy of it and it is proper and holy for the husband to praise her noble godly character.
- The Solomon in the Song would not flatter because of his superlative godly character. The Solomon portrayed in the Song of Songs is a beloved above all others Song 5:9 So the Song is before Solomon worshipped other gods and slept with other women. His name is like perfume poured out. Song 1:3 He is the chief among ten thousand other husbands. Song 5:10 The Solomon in the Song of Songs is superlative in holy character and possessed unmeasurable wisdom 1 Kings 4:29
- A flattering sex hungry Solomon who sinned in the Song would not sync with the title of the Song of Songs. The Song is a love song. To flatter is not love but to praise a humble wife is what a husband ought to do. The lover’s possess the love of God Song 8:6 which is compared to a flame, the very Flame of the Lord. Since they possess God’s love then they possess a holy love for one another for God’s love is holy.
- If you see Solomon as flattering then your in good company with others who see the Song as a trio. Solomon trying to woo her away with flattery from her true shepherd lover. But this view leads to way to many problems and dancing around then text to fit the trio view rather than let the text speak for itself.
- Maybe Solomon flattered her in the beginning and later repented and became a lover above all lovers Song 5:9-10. This couldn’t be true either because Solomon continues the so called flattering on into chapters 6:4-9 and 7:1-7 as well.
She is not deformed, ugly, undone or full of flaws. Her cheeks are not beautiful with allergies or some face muscle defect. Her cheeks are beautiful with ornaments. A glorious joy is a beautiful joy. A joy inexpressible and full of glory. A holy joy is a beautified joy. An unholy joy is tainted with evil. Her beautiful cheeks were morally excellent and holy. No flaw in them for they were adorned with something precious and valuable to him. What is more precious than rubies? Wisdom, him in her is what beautifies her cheeks. Apart from union with Solomon.
Plumper cheeks are a sign of health. Is there a spiritual health that the cheeks are being compared to? according to a study out of England. “Women are effectively advertising their general fertility with their faces,” said Miriam Law Smith, Ph.D., the lead researcher, adding that fertile women display fuller lips, plumper cheeks, brighter eyes, and smoother skin.
Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.
I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.
I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.
If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28
I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.
If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.
Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.
About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.
As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.
Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.
I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.
I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.
I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.
I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.
I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.
I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.
California at age 26.
I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.
One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.
By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.
I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."
So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.
After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.
I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.
I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.
I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.
The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.
About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.
I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.
Then this life changing advice came:
A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.
In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.
I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.
About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.
I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.
So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.
I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.
Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.
About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.
Then a mission trip to Croatia.
Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.
About 3 years saved now.
I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.
Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.
I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.
Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.
My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!
I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.
God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.