There is Wisdom in Love Making
Love is wise. Every act of love is wise. Every act of wisdom is loving.
Solomon’s Song of Songs is in the section of the Bible called the wisdom literature. I used to think that they just put The Song of Songs in that section just because it was written by Solomon who go gave immeasurable wisdom to 1 Kings 4:29. But as I study the Love Poem more and more I see the wisdom Solomon had in the things he did to draw his beloved closer to himself.
She wants him to be skilled and wise like a deer on mountain tops and lovingly draw her closer to himself.
Love is not without reason therefore it is wise.
Let me confess something. “I have never made love.” In an intimate way with a woman. There are ways of showing love to my sisters in Christ because I love them. But “I have never made love.” Very sadly enough I have had sex and lusted after way to many women. I was saved at the age of 27 and have had to many sinful relationships before getting saved. I’m 51 now and have not been with a woman for 24 years. I haven’t even kissed a woman since I was a born again virgin, let alone made love to one.
So, as I thought about this what came to mind is all the men out there that I have talked who don’t know how to help their spouse feel loved during making love, which is what they are supposed to be doing. They lack wisdom in this area. So do I. I have no experiential knowledge of what it is like to make love as of April of 2025.
I believe that both Naamah and Solomon were virgins in Song 4. Sometime between Song 4:16 and 5:1 they make love for the first time. She is a garden locked up, therefore she is a virgin. Naamah was his first wife and her description of him is that he is altogether desirable in 5:9-16. So, it is highly likely that he has never made intimate love with a woman before Song 4:16.
I suppose most married people would say that they make love. Yet, if they are not Christians then whatever they are doing is not love. It is a form of love, what I call common love. But this common love is from selfish principles and is not virtuous. Unless their love extends to God and Jesus Christ you are cursed 1 Cor. 16:22.
The Song of Songs records times when love inflamed their hearts. Times when love brought them closer. The love they made brought them closer. Want wisdom on how he did it, then read,
“How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
descending from the hills of Gilead.
2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn,
coming up from the washing.
Each has its twin;
not one of them is alone.
3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;
your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil
are like the halves of a pomegranate.
4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
built with courses of stone[a];
on it hang a thousand shields,
all of them shields of warriors.
5 Your breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle
that browse among the lilies.
6 Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh
and to the hill of incense.
7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
there is no flaw in you.
8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
come with me from Lebanon.
Descend from the crest of Amana,
from the top of Senir, the summit of Hermon,
from the lions’ dens
and the mountain haunts of leopards.
9 You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.
10 How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume
more than any spice!
11 Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;
milk and honey are under your tongue.
The fragrance of your garments
is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
12 You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.
13 Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates
with choice fruits,
with henna and nard,
14 nard and saffron,
calamus and cinnamon,
with every kind of incense tree,
with myrrh and aloes
and all the finest spices.
15 You are[b] a garden fountain,
a well of flowing water
streaming down from Lebanon.
She
16 Awake, north wind,
and come, south wind!
Blow on my garden,
that its fragrance may spread everywhere.
Let my beloved come into his garden
and taste its choice fruits.
He
5 I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride;
I have gathered my myrrh with my spice.
I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey;
I have drunk my wine and my milk.
Friends
Eat, friends, and drink;
drink your fill of love.” Solomon’s Song of Songs 4-5:1
Most of us guys are dumb. Really not wise at all when it comes to love. Yet, those who do love their wives will see the beauty of the wisdom in the way Solomon loves his wife. They will see where they fail in being wise and loving and will be moved to be wise and loving in their relationships. Is there something similar that I could do?
In every act of love there is wisdom. The wisdom of Solomon on display in making love for the first time.
1 He waited til marriage to have any form of physical intimacy. She waited and was a virgin as well for she was, “a garden locked up” 4:12. Back then having sex before marriage was adultery and punishable by death, therefore staying pure before marriage was a very big deal.
2 Once she took her shirt off he sincerely adored her inner and outer beauties, and let her know it. Not flattery, but sincerity.
3 He was not selfish but included her always
4 He invited her to go with him to various emotional high points of love 4:8. This was their goal. To drink their fill of love. Not drink their fill of pleasure but their fill of love Song 5:1. To imbibe deeply of love. The goal was not for him and her to climax physically but rather emotionally.
Let me say that again. THE GOAL IS NOT FOR HIM AND HER TO CLIMAX PHYSICALLY BUT RATHER EMOTIONALLY. Certainly the command to drink your fill of love implies physical pleasure as a mean to the end of feeling loved. But, having physical pleasure in a climactic fashion as we generally understand it may not happen. Especially with virgins. What then did you disobey the command in 5:1 to imbibe deeply and “drink your fill of love?” Even when they weren’t married and she wanted physical intimacy in marriage it was because of the better sensation she got from feeling loved. She wanted the emotional high that came with being kissed by him over and over again. “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his lips, for you love is better than wine.” It is her same desire now. She has a fill of love she is supposed to drink up. He is to satisfy her fill of love. She has a deep desire to feel loved and now is his chance to be used by God to show love to her in the most intimate of ways, so that she feels loved.
Now it goes both ways, but now my focus is to help the men see it from the perspective of the woman in the Love Song. She wanted to feel loved. Also, in order for him to drink his fill of love she has to be highly satisfied for his happiness is in her satisfaction. Emotional highs that may be intended are affectionate love, peace, intense zeal or holy jealousy, delight or happiness, satisfaction, gratitude and contentment. Kinda like heaven. These are highly likely to be the various emotional mountaintop experiences they agreed to have right before making love. Can you think of one I may have missed? Let me know below.
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