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Feeling Loved

Do you want to feel loved?

Yeah, that’s the question yet my mind goes to the fact that most who want to feel loved must first love other’s more for love is self-less. But to want to feel love from God directly or through a mediator is not sinful. Wanting the feeling is okay so long as its within the bounds of Scripture and consistent with truth.

Solomons Song of songs is a love poem written so that we could get a right idea of love in the mind by feeling it in the heart. Then checking the feeling by seeing that the subject feeling is based on object truths.


Feel the Love Song.

Love poetry is supposed to arouse love in us. Bring about a holy feeling. Meaning that you not supposed to read Solomon’s song of songs like a newspaper. When you read poetry you often get this feeling of oohhhh. Or ahhhh. A good feeling. “better than wine” Song 1:2 call it delight or joy that fills the body with a degree of pleasure like wine but better.

When you read love poetry, Biblical love poetry, it will do little good if your living in sin. If living in sin then go to Song 1:6-9 or 5:2-10. These have to deal with sin. So, from experience I believe that the love Song is felt first then understood. It can be understood intellectually to bring about certain feelings based on context and the Love Poem can bring about greater understanding of what love is when the feeling is present to a sensible degree.


Remembering what each spark felt like and in what context of idea’s or objective truth.


Love is a feeling, therefore in order to get some idea of what she felt then you have to get the same feeling she had. Especially, as she thought of a type of Jesus Christ loving God’s people during his reign on earth! (Psalm 72 and 2 Sam. 7:12-16.

Basically, Psalm 72 is a summary of what that love would look like and Naamah, the Gentile slave girl would of heard this being read at Solomon’s first anointing, right before she fell in love with Israel’s 3rd Messiah, Solomon.

1 Solomon would built a temple where God would come down and dwell with man so that His Name could go out to all the nations so that they may fear Him, both Jew and Gentile.

(Solomon sent back this message to Hiram: “You know that because of the wars waged against my father David from all sides, he could not build a temple for the Name of the Lord his God until the Lord put his enemies under his feet. But now the Lord my God has given me rest on every side, and there is no adversary or disaster. 1 Kings 5:2-4)

41 As for the foreigner who does not belong to your people Israel but has come from a distant land because of your name— 42 for they will hear of your great name and your mighty hand and your outstretched arm—when they come and pray toward this temple, 43 then hear from heaven, your dwelling place. Do whatever the foreigner asks of you, so that all the peoples of the earth may know your name and fear you, as do your own people Israel, and may know that this house I have built bears your Name.1 Kings 8:41-43.

WE ARE TALKING WORLD WIDE REVIVAL HERE! During the reign of Israel’s 3rd Christ, Solomon, the king of peace! Submit to Christ, Solomon, the king of peace, God’s son, the son of David and believe in God’s Name and promises and reverently fear Him as the “Your own people Israel” and that they could get to know God and his will for them in the Scriptures and see His beauty in the temple as it bore YHWH’s Name. Believe and you will be credited righteousness by faith. Gen. 15:6. This is an old testament version of the Gospel of Jesus Christ!

“So Moses chiseled out two stone tablets like the first ones and went up Mount Sinai early in the morning, as the Lord had commanded him; and he carried the two stone tablets in his hands. Then the Lord came down in the cloud and stood there with him and proclaimed his name, the Lord. And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.Ex. 34:4-7.

Solomon’s first wife was like a temple in which God who is love dwelt. Christ, Solomon reflected the glory of God in his words and actions. So that if you beheld the Glory of God in the face of Christ, Solomon then you would be transformed from one level of glory to another. For any beholding of God’s glory is transformative to the soul 2 Cor. 3:18. Beautifying it! Glorifying it! Increasing loves height and depth in the heart, enlarging it!


As you will notice the bride of Christ, Solomon grows in her love to him from beginning to end.

She grows in her love to YHWH, His Christ, Solomon and his people as she beholds the glory of God in the face of her husband! Primarily as he keeps showing her love over and over again!


Her first spark of love happens at the first anointing of one of Israel’s promised Messiahs, Solomon, the king of peace. Solomon was a type of Jesus Christ. Click to see how Solomon was like Jesus in many ways. When we see and delight in the likeness it is very similar to seeing and delighting in Jesus Christ Himself. Only differing in degree and manner of delighting.


Thinking and delighting in the power of His/his love is transformative. For you can’t think of love power alone but have to understand loves power by seeing it in action.

See the power of God’s love to draw the soul closer to Himself and the couple through out the whole love song.

The Love Song is in the context of God using His Messiah to help draw all peoples closer to Himself, both Jew and Gentile.


See the glory of God reflected in Christ, Solomon and to know His/his love that passes understanding. It’s height, depth, breadth and length. No king higher who loved like Solomon 1kings 3:13. Christ, Solomon had great depths of love. The breadth of which spread to all nations, both Jew and Gentile and reached as far as the queen of the South. And the length of which will go on forever!


If we can see the excellencies and beauty of Christ, Solomon then we see the Glory of God, for the Glory of God consists in both His Excellency and His Beauty.

God has both moral excellencies and natural. Natural, meaning his knowledge, power etc. Anything not having to do with morality. Like is moral excellencies like holiness, love, goodness etc.

Solomon’s primary moral excellency was his holiness which primarily consisted in his love to God. Which is the same as God’s beauty. God’s beauty is His Holiness. Where we see Solomon doing a loving thing then we see him doing something morally beautiful, Solomon’s holiness. In essence and nature, the same love was at work in the heart of Christ, Solomon as was in Jesus without measure. Same love. Which is in some degree and manner a reflection of the holiness of Jesus Christ.


I suppose beholding Christ, Solomon is easier than beholding the glory of Jesus. Maybe arguing from the lesser Christ to the Greater Christ Jesus helps in this process of getting to know Jesus better? Faster? Thus, making sanctification or the beautification of the soul faster?


The power of God’s love to draw a soul closer is due to Loves

1 better taste

2 Ability to cast out fear 1 john 4:18, song 1:9 (fearless horse).

3 Zeal being intense like the fire of Sheol

4 Coming from God, being something of God and having God as it’s primary object of affection.

5 Unquenchable flame

6 Immeasurable value


God is perfect! He does only good and hates evil and those who continue in it. Those who disobey God who is sinless will be punished in hell forever for their sins. This is the bad news. We all deserve hell, just differing degree’s of unimaginable pain. Apart from Jesus Christ, we are all sinners in the hands of an angry God! He is righteously angry with us for disobeying Him. Accept the fact that He would be doing no wrong by punishing you in hell forever.

And this is love! You want to feel loved by God?

God is love. God sent His Son, Jesus Christ to live a perfect life on our behalf. God put on flesh and lived a perfect life for us. This is love, for love gives. The Father gave the Son for us. The Son lived a perfect life so that His perfect life could be credited to our account as if we lived His life here in the flesh. God then treats the believer as if they lived the life of Jesus!

Then on the cross from noon to 3 the whole world went black. God was pouring out His Wrath on Jesus who did no sin. But God saw Jesus as if He had done all our sins, the sins of His Bride. God punished the Husband and not the Bride!

This is love!! Feel it and forgive other’s. Feel it and praise God! Feel it and love other’s. Feel it and read your Bible! Feel it and understand Solomon’s song of songs better.

Psalm 63:3 “Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.”


With love comes joy, for the fruit of love is joy and peace. That joy becomes your strength to obey. For the joy that comes from the LORD is our strength.

The Spirit communicates love to our soul. Love felt upon the soul is due to the Holy Spirits indwelling there. Once love is felt then other emotions come with it, like joy and peace. Not the Bible says, “fruit” singular. Only one fruit comes from the Spirit. How that fruit of love manifests itself differently based on circumstance and dominance of certain thoughts or objective truths. It may feel good. It may provoke gladness. It may bring with it joy. It may bring with it peace if thinking of the peace we have with God. Etc.

The feeling is subjective. Subjective to the dominance of the mind. And feelings. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.


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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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