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Bridegroom Theology, From Beginning to Never Ending growing Happiness

The Greatest Love Story EVER!!

Otherwise known as Bridegroom Theology

From Eternity past to time and Eternity Future.

 

Trinity in all Eternity past. In Eternity past the Father chose a sinful Bride for His Son to make holy and blameless. The Father gives the Son a sinful Bride and the Holy Spirit, Love.  The Son accepts the Bride and She is His. The Son puts on flesh lives a perfect life and dies for His Bride thus proving His priceless love to His Bride and their Heavenly Father.  Life married to the enemy.  Christ woo’s His bride to Himself by revealing Himself to her because He is jealous for her with a holy Jealousy, remember she is His. She falls in love with Him as His Name was revealed to her.  Bond by a Holy Jealousy and being united isn’t enough, the Bridegroom longs for a closer and more intimate relationship with His Bride and vice versa.  By the superlative strength, sweetness and durability of His Love He woo’s her closer as she behold’s His Glory.  The whole time they are physically separated the Bride yearns, expects and hastens His coming.  He comes in the clouds and they reign here on Earth together.  After 1,000 years He destroys their enemies with fire from heaven.  All are united physically, and is presented to the Bridegroom a chaste, holy, blameless, flawless and absolutely Beautiful!  The Bridegroom rejoices over His Bride after being presented to Him.  The ultimate marriage supper commences.  Bride and Bridegroom forever grow closer and closer, happier and happier ever after.  Amen and Amen

 

Trying to Communicate the Truth of the Greatest True Love Story Ever is both the most delightful mediation yet the most mind boggling!

I mean John was also, what it looks like to me as being dumbfounded when he says,

 

What is this union of Bride and Bridegroom.

A Mystery

Paul says it a “great Mystery”  Eph. 5:32, 3:4-5.  Matthew 13:11; 1 Cor. 2:7

What is a “Mystery”

A mystery in SS is something not yet revealed.  Concealed to OT believers. Hidden in the past and revealed in the New Testament.

“Marriage is a sacred reflection of the magnificent and beautiful mystery of union (and communion) between the Messiah and His church.

What was concealed in the types or SS?

The Son of God put on flesh.

This type of relationship of God with his people in and through Jesus Christ was kept secret.  There is now a nearer and dearer relationship between God and His Bride in Jesus Christ.

The Holy Ghost seems to take a peculiar delight in this, as a similitude fit to represent the strict, intimate and blessed union that is between Christ and his saints.

that glorious mystery is; “I speak concerning Christ and the church”: as much as to say, the mystery I speak of, is that blessed union that is between Christ and his church, which I spoke of before.

Ministers are not the proper husbands of the church, though their union to God’s people as Christ’s ambassadors, in several respects resembles the conjugal relation: but Christ is the true husband of the church, to whom the souls of the saints are espoused indeed, and to whom they are united as his flesh and his bones, yea and one spirit; to whom they have given themselves in an everlasting covenant, and whom alone they cleave to, love, honor, obey and trust in, as their spiritual husband; whom alone they reserve themselves for as chaste virgins.

General thoughts of the Trinity before time began

God the Father

God the Son

God the Holy Spirit.

God the Father loved God the Son

God the Son Loved, Loves and continues to love God the Father with the same Love for which the Father Loves the Son.

God the Holy Spirit is the Love Shared between the Father and the Son.

Marriage is a reflection of the Trinity

John 1:1  “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.

Chosen by God.

Where did the Bride of Jesus Christ have its genesis or beginning?

Interesting question

In the heart of God the Father the Bride always was.

In the heart of the Son the Bride always was.   Non believer where never known by the Son.  “I never knew you”  Matt. 7

Yet so that we can have somewhat of an understand of our relationship with God, Scripture uses the phrase “chosen before the world began.”  Eph. 1:4

4″ just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him.”

In the heart of God the Father there always was an idea of Himself.

That idea God has of Himself was not just the Trinity for the Son always was one with His Bride even though She didn’t have existence yet.

There is what always is was and will be in the heart and mind of God is the same.

And there is our way of conceiving of what always was is and will be in God.

So in our way of perceiving things we use language that seems to let us know that there was a time when God chose a Bride for the Son.  When in reality God had always known who he would give to the Son.  God doesn’t decide like we do for there is no succession in the mind of God.  God has no new thoughts.

What always was in the mind of God will come to be in reality.  Since the Father knew the Son and His Bride and they were one in His mind then that Bride would have to be in time.

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It’s out of this Love the Father has for the Son that he chose a Bride.

“In love He predestined”…  Eph. 1:

In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.”

The phrase “in the beloved”  means due to your union with your beloved Heavenly Bridegroom.  The Father love the Son.  The Son is the Beloved Son.  Yet the Son as love by the Father is not alone.  The Son has a Bride and they are one.  So the Bride receives all her blessing due to her union with her Bridegroom.  So the Bride gets grace due to her marriage to the Beloved.

An Everlasting Love JE

The Father gives the Son a sinful Bride and the Holy Spirit.

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The Father gives The Bridegroom a sinful Bride to make holy.

John 17:6-7  “I have manifested Your name to the men whom You gave Me out of the world; they were Yours and You gave them to Me, and they have kept Your word. Now they have come to know that everything You have given Me is from You.”

The Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father.

 “is the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify about Me,”
The Spirit Eternally proceeded from the Father to the Son.
The Spirit is also an infinitely valuable love gift from the Bridegroom to the Bride purchased by His death on the cross.

The Son accepts the sinful Bride.

Since it is the will of the Father for the Son to have the Bride it is also Son’s will

The Bridegroom sets out to woo her back to Himself by leaving the father, putting on flesh living a perfect life and dying for His Bride, thus proving His love.

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How could the Bridegroom get His enemy bride to genuinely love Him?  The infinite difficulty of the challenge proves the infinite love, wisdom and strength of the Bridegroom.

When Christ died, He died bearing the sins of His Bride and died with Her, united to her.

“For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his.”

The Bridegroom deeply desires for His Bride to be with Him were he is.

John 17:24 “Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given Me, be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which You have given Me, for You loved Me before the foundation of the world.”

 

Life married to Satan.

You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and thefather of lies.

Made me take care of their vineyards

My own vineyard I have neglected

How do you know your father is the devil?

  1.  You believe lies. Do you believe you can get to heaven by doing good works then Satan is your Father.  The children of God know that they get to heaven because of Jesus and not anything they have done.  Eph. 2:8, Titus 3:5
  2. “Blessed are those who hear the word of God and do it”.  The children of God read the Bible with an intent to obey it and their life has less and less sin in it as they get closer to their heavenly Bridegroom, whom they love.

 Christ woo’s His bride to Himself by revealing Himself to her through 4 phases.

Born again, arousal, conception laboring in love.   It’s the arousal, conception and laboring love phases that the Song of Songs illustrates by way of analogy for us.

 

Christ woo’s His bride to Himself by revealing Himself to her for He is jealous for her.

They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”

He arouses her affections and she arouses his.  Song 1:2-2:7

The Son loved the Bride the Father gave Him with a Godly Jealousy.  She was His and He had to have her all to Himself.

This is the arousal phase of the relationship.   I get the title of this part of the relationship or union to be the arousal phase which comes from Solomon’s Song of Songs 8:5.  This arousal phase was when she aroused the affections of her husband.  Yet also in this arousal phase, the type of Jesus Christ, the bridegroom aroused the affections of the bride.

This arousal or effectual calling as theologians say is irresistible!

The Bride and Bridegroom are destined to fall in love due to their union in the eyes of God before time began.

“For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on the last day.”
James 4:8. “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” To him that hath “shall be given, and he shall have more abundance” [Matthew 13:12]. If your soul comes to God, and so you are near to him, he will come to you, and you shall be yet nearer, for “he gives more grace,” as Hebrews 4:6.

She falls in love with Him as His Name was revealed to her.

In time they unite when born again.  

Imagine your Heavenly Bridegroom, who loves you.  Even when you were born His enemy He loved you and earnestly and longing desired to be in a love relationship with us, Christians, His Bride.

To not have who belongs to Him would be the greatest cruelty to Him.  He has to have all of her mind, will and emotions.   He want to fill her mind with beautiful thoughts of Himself.  He wants her will to be in alignment with His and He wants all her love.

What belongs to Him is her.  Her mind.  Her will.  Her emotions.  After weighing the cost She gives herself to Him out of Love and not fear.

Bound by a Jealous bond.  In life the Bridegroom draw her spiritually closer by His Love.  The Bride yearns for His coming.

The Bride dies and is united physically, and she is pure, holy, blameless, flawless and absolutely beautiful!

And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband.
But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation
Yea, the saints’ conversation with Christ in heaven, shall not only be as intimate, and their access to him as free, as of the disciples on earth; but in many respects, much more so: for in heaven, that vital union shall be perfect, which is exceeding imperfect here. While the saints are in this world, there are great remains of sin and darkness, to separate or disunite them from Christ; which shall then all be removed. This is not a time for that full acquaintance, and those glorious manifestations of love, which Christ designs for his people hereafter; which seems to be signified by Christ’s speech to Mary Magdalene, when ready to embrace him, when she met him after his resurrection; John 20:17, “Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not, for I am not yet ascended to my Father.  JE

The marriage supper commences.  Bride and Bridegroom forever grow closer and closer.

Verses about Bridegroom Theology

“For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin.”
“The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”
For the Bride of Jesus Christ, it is as if Satan, her first husband dies and she is united to her Heavenly Bridegroom.
“A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”
But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation

Other relations of Christ to believers under the notions of:

Father to a son.   Intimating Discipline and near relation.

King to subject.  To illustrate obedience out of love.

Money lender.

Owner of a vineyard and workers

Father to children.  To communicate the idea of same loving nature.

Engaged Bride and Bridegroom to illustrate being ready when he comes to get you.  Eagerly desiring him/Him.  Longing for Him.  Eagerly expecting him.

Bridegroom and Bride to illustrate a holy jealous bond due to love.

Application

  1.  Behold the beauty and glory of your Bridegroom so that you will be beautiful for him.

2 Cor. 3:18

Since you are a love gift from the Father to the Son, wouldn’t you want to be as beautiful and holy as possible for the pleasure of you Bridegroom!!  Get rid of sin in your heart!  The more sin you get rid of by beholding the beauty of your Bridegroom the more you are like Him.

  1.  Be eagerly expecting and ready for His coming.

  2.  Hasten the day.

The intimacy of the first person with the second person is but a reflection of the intimacy of the Bridegroom and His Bride.   Which is also a reflection of the intimacy of the First Person with The Second in all Eternity Past.

Firs Person is the Father.  The Second Person is the Son.

The first person is the husband the second person is the bride/Bride.

The 3rd Person in the union is the Holy Spirit, who is Love, God.

1st Person Loves the Second Person.

The 3rd person is God, God is Love.

The same Love is shared between the 1st and 2nd Person.

The will of the second/Second person/Person submits to the first person/Person.

The First Person belongs to the Second Person.

The first person belongs to the second person in the union.

The first person is one with the second.

The First Person is one with the Second.

May they be one as We are one.”  John 17

Their idea’s of each other’s is the same.

The idea the First Person has always had of Himself is the Second Person.

The First Person was always one with the Second.

Their Idea of Each Other is the same.   The idea God has of Himself is the same as the Idea the Second Person has of the First.

His idea of himself, her idea she has of him, their wills and their love for each other is the same.

The idea the second person has of herself is the same with the idea the husband has of her.

Their idea of God is the same, their idea of love is the same, their idea’s of each other are the same, their wills are in line and the same, the love they share for one another is the same love.

The BrideGroom is the exact representation of God.  The Second Person is an Image of the First.

The first person/Person is the head and the second the body/Body for the purpose of illustrating headship, leadership and submission along with the idea of both being one.  Husband and wife are one and so also is the head and body.  Or heart and arm.

Reasoning

Since the First Person always was One with The Second we need fear being separated from Jesus Christ.  “Nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ” Romans 8:

Since the Son always knew His Bride He always will love her because they always were and will continue to be one.

Mutual ownership

The First owns the Second because not only is the Second the Firsts but the Second Person gave Himself to the First.

The Second Person owns the First because the First Gave Himself to the Second in the Person and work of the 3rd Who is Love.

Bond by Love the First infinitely loves the Second.  So also the same love is toward the Bride for she is one with the Second Person.

God is Love and God Loves.

The 3rd Person communicates Himself to the first person and second by indwelling and therefore a participation of His nature is possible.  2 Pt. 1:4

Since Marriage is a reflection, the greater the reflection the closer the marriage is to the Original.  Husbands, grow in the depth of your love to your bride!  So that the infinite depth of the love of the First Person to the Second can be seen and better understood by the growing depth of Love and intimacy.

Stay united or married forever to illustrate the eternality and immutability of the First Persons love to the Second.

The infinitely strict union is better understood by understanding the sweet harmony of a perfect union in love.

 

Is the Bride the 1st Person gave the Second living in the New Jerusalem, the Holy City in Revelation.  With both Jew and Gentile believers in it.  The Bride of Christ.

Why the Marriage analogy?

Trinity, one, different roles.

Intimacy

 

 

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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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