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The End of the Greatest Love Song Ever Written

This is the end, the last verse of the greatest love Song ever written.

Solomons Song of Songs 8:14

different-30s
“Hurry, my beloved,
And be like a gazelle or a young stag
On the mountains of spices.”

So how does the greatest true love story end?

 

Possible one or two sentence explanations of the ending.

  • And they lived happy then grew happier and will continue growing holier and happier every day after, for ever and ever!
  • Love desired union or oneness with the object/Object of her affection, she got it, enjoyed it more than anything else and was fully satisfied yet always desiring a stricter union.
  • After being totally one with her husband, she still yearned for even closer intimacy. Her love new no end.  Her love was everlasting!
  • A growing blessed oneness never ends in a marriage where both have the very “Flame of the LORD” in them.
  • It started with her wanting the closest intimacy as soon as possible and even after perfect oneness in marriage she still wants a stricter union and greater displays of love because experiencing his/His love is more delightful than any other experience.
  • If you are saved then you know how she is feeling at the end of the Song for our hearts yearn for the strictest and happiest union with Christ which happen when He raptures us or we die.  As we lay up our good deeds on top of the greatest mountains/trials, we yearn for the return of Christ when we can glorify Him by supremely enjoying Him forever.  A stricter and stricter blessed union forever for we are one in Christ as They are One.

 

  1. They are Separated
  2. Separated yet one
  3. Separated by a long distance
  4. Separated for a long time
  5. Separated for a long time through many ups and downs
  6. Separated for a long time through many ups and downs yet she is still producing consistent fruit/spices.
  7. Separated and all the time longing for even more nearness or a stricter oneness.
    1. Her request in this fruitful time of his absence.  “Make haste, Come away.”
    2. To come quickly,  not just come but hurry!
    3. Skillfully to make haste.
  8. Then Application for the husband, wife, believer and non believer.

 

 

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  1. She is either physically or spiritually separated
    1. She is physically separated.  What separated them we don’t know.  The verse just starts with her wanting her husband to come quickly to her all the while enjoying the spice laden mountains she has for him.  Though in the Song they are physically separated, this verse serves as a good illustration of an outward expression of an inward spiritual reality.  Her soul still wants a stricter union even after practical oneness is achieved.  Love desires the strictest union with the objection of its affection.  Both a physical and spiritual union.  The closest possible.  And when separated the heart gets love sick and desires the object of its affection to be near and not far.  Those who have the “Flame of the LORD” in them will feel this way when their husband/Husband feels far off.  Ours sins separate us from God Is. 59:2  and then He wont hear our prayers.
  2. Separated yet one.  There is always room for our hearts to grow in the grace and the knowledge of God.  Always room for greater revelations of Christ.  Our ideas of God can grow forever.  As the husbands idea’s of God grow and the wife’s idea keep growing respectively then the husband and wife will forever grow stricter in their blessed union.  They were one positionally and not practically.  They grew to practical oneness then she desires the union to be even stricter, closer and more one with each other.
  3. He feels really far off to her.  “be like a gazelle on the spice laden mountains”  Thats a lot of mountains they are far apart, yet fully satisfied in God alone for she has not sinned in his absence due to the multiple mountains or ups and downs in life.  She made it through them all and stayed holy all the while he felt really far away.  Not that he was near but he was far, far away over many mountains.  So He needed to come from what felt like a great distance to her to being close to her.  From the context she has sinned for a really long time while he still feels far away!  She is
  4. She has been separated for a long time.  She has been on top of many mountains producing fruit.  This takes some time in life to have overcome many difficulties staying fruitful, holy and happy the whole time.  He has not been gone for a short time.  This looks like at least days of absence and maybe weeks or months.  At any rate it is a long time that she has been separated.  Although this could be one day.  She could have had multiple mountain like trials in one day like Job and stayed worshipful.  “The Lord gives the Lord takes away, blessed be the Name of the LORD!”
  5. She has been separated through many ups and downs.  The mountains represent ease going down from on top.  Difficulty going up.  She has been humbling herself and intentionally denying herself for a long time without enjoying his presence.
  6. She is separated for a long time through many ups and downs still producing fruit!  The good times she hasn’t forgotten him and the bad times she still praises.  He gives he takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.  She still loves God and other’s even when his felt joyful presence is gone for a long time.  She is fully leaning on her beloved right now in his absence.
  7. She is separated and never stopped longing/desiring closer intimacy or oneness.  Her heart felt request in this fruitful time of his absence is
    1. come away.”   Make haste.  Hurry!!  Her request and deepest desire is still.  “Let him show me his affection over and over again because his name is like perfume poured out and his love is more delightful than any other experience.”  She desires even closer longer uninterrupted holy intimacy with her beloved.   It would be the same for her to say “Hurry, make our union stricter for we are one.”  She is not talking to anyone, she is just expressing her feelings about the one she loves who is absent so that we can know how she feels when he is gone!!  They are separated by mountains.  How could he hear her?   Her beloved husband is gone and she wants God to show His Love and Grace by blessing her with the presence of her husband.  She has a desire in this fruitful time of his absence. He has been gone a long time and patience is getting pushed to the limit.  Waiting on God’s time for his return.  She is the bride.  Her spirit says “Come”.  She yearns for him, so she says make haste.  She is not where he is.  He is gone.  She wants him there with her.
    2. To come quickly,  not just come but come quickly!  This shows the intensity of her desire.  The urgency in her heart!  Even though she is older and fully mature she still doesn’t want to waist anytime getting closer!  Her hunger for his deeper love felt presence is increasing still even after their hearts were one.  As a deer pants for streams of water so her soul has panted for him for a long time and didn’t stop.  This also proves that she didn’t stop desiring God.  Had she stopped desiring God then she would have stopped desiring her husband.  The deer doesn’t want to wait around for water when it is panting.  It wants water now.  She wanted enjoyment in his presence.  The longer she can produce fruit in his absence the greater her joy will be when he does come. He has been gone a long time and she is panting for him.  Panting intensely.  Her heart is enlarged and waiting to be filled with more love, joy and comfort when he returns.  Imagine if she said, “Take your time”.  No she wants him now.  Come quickly, hurry.  Let the king take me into his chambers.
    3. 21802159_sSkillfully to make haste.  To skillfully draw near to her.  Using his unmeasurable wisdom.  Solomon had unmeasurable skill to love his wife and overcome any obstacle, like a gazelle on the mountain tops.  Come in all your glory.  Let me see your wisdom and skill in life as you return to me.  She knows him to be skillful on the mountain tops.  This is the way she wants him to return.  She wants to see him return to her displaying his skills as he comes back to be with her.  Her request is for him to hurry and make a glorious return. He has been gone a long time, he must be doing something really good for her in his absence.

bridewaiting

Let us learn from the bride and stay fruitful always yearning for the return of Christ, for we desire to be near Him always.  Be being filled with the Spirit.  Beholding the Moral Beauty and wisdom of God in Christ our Heavenly Husband.  There is no one like Him.  The virgins who had oil and were ready. Matt. 25.  The spiritual father is ready at all times.  To be fruitful and hastening his return no matter how long he is gone.  The father has learned this skill through many absences. He knows how to keep his heart humble for long periods.  Not only humble but counting all trials joy knowing that they have made him mature and complete lacking nothing.  She is a Proverbs 31 Woman, fearing the Lord and worthy of praise and honor.

Imagine the praise she has coming her way!!  She has earned and is worthy of the greatest praise ever!!!  Every time Solomon praises his wife it is after a time when she is worthy of it and is humble enough to receive it and give the glory to God.

Here she has stayed fruitful in multiple highs and lows of life all the while yearning to sense his love greater than before.  Her heart is completely and fully ready and humbled to receive the greatest honor and praise of her life!!

Suppose she would die at this moment and get her hearts desire to the fullest.  What would that praise sound like?  It would come directly from God.

Zephaniah 3:17

“The Lord your God is in your midst, A Victorious Warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.”

“Well done good and faithful servant, enter into the Joy of your Master.”  Matthewdifferent-30s

And you will stay perfectly humble, no pride at all, no selfishness, no giving yourself the credit when Christ praises you and he will forever praise you as you live in eternity loving and obeying Him without sin and the happiness and holiness gets better and better as my heart is continually enlarged to behold greater revelations of the glory and beauty of God in the face of Christ.  This is eternal life, that we may grow in our knowledge of God, that we may know Christ, love him deeper, enjoy him more as God is our all in all.  So our eternity ends the way the Song does.  We will be perfect but always wanting a stricter union to never end.  And it wont.  It will just get better and better forever and ever!  Amen.

 

Suppose she doesn’t die, then what is coming?

She is still desiring stricter union, happier, longer, deeper, wider and more intense intimacy as quickly as possible.  She hasn’t sinned so she has quite the praise coming her way.  Solomon would praise her moral character in ways far greater than in the Song thus far!!  Can you imagine that !!?  Greater praises, admiration, prizing, valuing, honoring expressing of the greatest type of Christ enjoying the holiness of his bride in her presence as her perfume spreads its fragrance.

Application

Husbands

  1. Do your best to be the example of the perfect husband.  Do whatever you possibly can to help bring your wife closer to God and yourself in love.  Clearly the bride desires to be holy and happy, pleasing her husband in all respects during the good times and bad.  Your job is to catch all the foxes that ruin your relationship from blossoming!  You must be the example in the relationship, man up!!
  2. If there is something wrong with the relationship it is first and mainly your fault.  You are the head and leader.  You know this well with football.  When the team is doing bad they first go to the coach.  They often fire the coach if the team is doing bad.  If the marriage if not so good fire the coach.  You are the coach.  But you can’t fire yourself or leave the marriage, that would be sinful, but you can repent.  Repent of all sin!!  Look to the cross for forgiveness and live a holy life.  Read you Bible daily with your wife and kids.  The reason she loves Solomon so much is because his name was like perfume poured out.  If you name is like perfume poured out, and your love is more delightful than wine and your wife is saved there shouldn’t be much wrong in the relationship.  Look, if you are reading and praying together then both of you will be growing.  Do your job and lead her spiritually by being an example of a godly husband worthy of honor and loving lead her spiritually.  What believing wife wouldn’t love listening to a man of God?
  3. Go about the city through its streets and squares and search for God.  Grow in grace and knowledge of God!  As you grow closer to God so will she.  This is her greatest desire and happiness!!  This is where she is most happy if she is saved.  The greatest happiness is in holiness.  Holiness consists in love to God.  The closer you are to God the holier you are.  The holier you are the closer to God you are, ever getting closer.
  4. Don’t waist time in your pursuit of a stricter oneness with your wife!  I know finding time may be hard nowadays but you always can give up some sleep to pray for your wife or read and memorize scripture.  Whatever, my point is that love is sacrificial.  You must give up something in order for your love to grow.  Give up watching tv.  Pray for God to give you the time.  He will give you time or you will find some.  Praise your wife when she is morally beautiful!!  Adore her noble character!  Even if you know she knows you appreciate her, say it!!  Say it with the sweetest words you can come up with!!  Praise her sincerely from the heart if she is staying faithful to God during the ups and downs of life!  Praise her today!!  Think of all the good she does and thank her now if you can.  Send her a text “Thinking of you”.   Do something more or better than you already are.   Keep going and don’t ever stop praising her as long as she can stay humble.  70% of the time Solomon speaks he is praising or adoring her physical or moral beauty!!

For the Wife

  1.  Be as excellent as possible laying spices on top of the mountains.   A spice on the mountain is what your godly husband will enjoy about you.  What will make you more attractive, adorable, valuable and loving is for you to stay obeying God and not sinning in the high times/mountains and the low times of the valleys.  If you husband doesn’t see the fruit of your Love to God in the ups and downs of life, Im sure Christ see’s and enjoys your love to Him.  Do it for God first!!  If you do not listen to your husband that is sin,  you must repent and obey your husband.  God commands it!!  Im not saying to let you husband use you, but he is your head or leader and you are his side.  Be a suitable helper!  Pursue the closest most intimate relationship with God through Christ as soon as possible!!

For the Believer

Application for the believer is much the same as it is for the wife, except for one huge infinite difference.  To get a right application from the Old testament to the new we must argue from the lesser messiah to the greater.  Matt. 12:42

Meaning here in our text she desires closer intimacy with Solomon.  There is nothing directly in the text here for believers.  This is an example of what the bride is doing.  Is this right, wrong or whatever.  There are no commands in this text for believers.  But we can use other scriptures.    This text has the bride wanting her physical husband to be near her.  In order for a proper application we ask the question.

Is there anything similar going on in Song 8:14 that is similar to our marriage to Christ, our union with Him in Love the “Flame of the LORD” Song 8:6?

We see the bride yearning for the return of Christ in Rev. 22:17.

Christ is greater than Solomon Matt. 12:42   Greater in Wisdom.  Christ’s Wisdom as the Son of God is greater than the wisdom Solomon had, though Solomon had unbearable wisdom 1 Kings 4:23  Christ’s Wisdom is superior to Solomon’s.   Solomon was a type of Christ who loved his wife as Christ loved the Church.  Therefore the strictest union with Solomon would be most desirable.  The bride in the Song yearned for the return of her husband, how much more so ought we to yearn for the return of the one we love and are separated from, our Lord Jesus Christ.  Keep setting your eyes on Christ who..

“having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time for salvation without reference to sin, to those who eagerly await Him.”

Do you see the words “more so”.   Our Heavenly Husband is worthy of yearning for closer intimacy more than Solomon.

Psalm 6:4  “Turn, LORD, and deliver me; save me because of Your unfailing love.”

For the non believer

You are a non believer.  You think you get to heaven by your good deeds or that your not as bad as others, your faith is in your own supposed good deeds and not the deeds of Christ to save you from hell.  You are self-righteous.  You are outside a love relationship with Christ and you love your sin.  The proof of your love for sin is that you continue in it, you have no power over sin and temptation for the Love of God the flame of the LORD is not in you. You do no yearn for intimacy with Christ like the bride of Christ does.  You are condemned to hell unless you repent and believe Christ died for you sins.  And having believed with your whole heart your life, words and actions will change to reflect that of someone who loves God and is eagerly awaiting the return of Christ..

You do not eagerly await the return of Christ because your hope of pleasure and delight is in this world and not the world to come.

You are not united to Christ for you sins have separated you from God Is. 59:2.  God is holy and you are not.  Stop sinning or you will have hell to pay for ever and ever.  It only gets worse if you don’t repent.  If you don’t look to Jesus on the cross bearing you sin and shame you will spend eternity in the lake of fire yearning for salvation and never getting it.  The pain will only get worse and you will become more and more hopeless due to you knowing that there will be no end to your just punishment.  It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of a righteously Angry God.  You are a sinner in the hands of an Angry God.

Repent and believe in the Person and work of Christ on the cross on your behalf and keep “looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be destroyed by burning, and the elements will melt with intense heat!  2 Peter 3:12

 

Other verses

She is mature and continuing in maturity and has not be shaken from living a blameless life for quite some time like Psalm 15.

Imaginary praise that Solomon may give his sinless bride.

Song 8:14

“Hurry, my beloved,
And be like a gazelle or a young stag
On the mountains of spices.”

(not Solomons Song of Songs 8:15 but an ending where she dies at the stake by the enemies of God)

Listen my beloved/Beloved here he comes,

Here he comes quickly over the spice laden mountains.

My heart pounded with anticipation of seeing his face,

He peered through the lattice and my heart skipped a beat.

I ran out to meet him and he was already at the door.

I opened to my beloved and his face shone brighter than before.

I most delightfully beheld his holy beauty as he praised

my noble character, staying humble, holding on tight and never letting go,

my perfume spread its fragrance like never before as he honored me in his presence.

How beautiful your are my love, and oh how beautiful,

I was nearly blinded by the light of your holiness.

Your robes are brilliant whiter than the whitest snow,

Your eyes like doves lovelier than I ever imagined,

Your love more precious than rubies,

Your faithfulness stretches to the highest heaven,

Your holy joy, I am speechless attempting to describe,

You know I love You,

I know you do,

You feet stand in twigs ready for the flame,

Your hand tied behind a stake for My Name,

How beautiful you are my love,

OH how beautiful,

Your holiness adorns you more beautiful than jewels,

More than jewels adorn a bride on her wedding day

As the flames beneath my feet were lit,

My Lover spoke and said to me,

Today you will be with me in Paradise.

Lord into your hands I commit my spirit.

 

Indeed, while following the way of Your judgments, O Lord, We have waited for You eagerly; Your name, even Your memory, is the desire of our souls.
1 Corinthians 1:7 awaiting eagerly the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ,
For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ

mostsublimesong View All

Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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