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Solomon’s Song of Songs vs “All of Me”

Comparing Love Song or Wedding Songs.   “All of me” is a very popular wedding song now around the year 2018 and Solomon’s Song was a Love Song superior to all other love Songs in its ability to communicate the idea of love.
First I will give the lyrics of all of me.
Lyrics of “All of me”  The lyrics of “All of me” don’t do the song much justice.  You have to hear the music and the voice of John Legend in order to really feel the song.  Here’s a link to him singing it.  “All of me
This Song was written as a proposal to his wife, whereas the Song of Songs is 8 Chapters from courtship, to proposal to, wedding to after marriage.  Solomon’s proposal song to his wife is in Solomon’s Song of Songs 2:8-2:16.  Each proposal song has about 20 sentences and are designed to bring about a yes response by the woman for the man in each is trying to draw her to a closer more intimate relationship and commitment in marriage.
“All of me”  Lyrics
1  What would I do without your smart mouth
2  Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
3  Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down
4  What’s going on in that beautiful mind
5  I’m on your magical mystery ride
6  And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright
7  My head’s under water
8  But I’m breathing fine
9   You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind
10 ‘Cause all of me
11  Loves all of you
12  Love your curves and all your edges
13  All your perfect imperfections
14  Give your all to me
15  I’ll give my all to you
16  You’re my end and my beginning
17  Even when I lose I’m winning
18  ‘Cause I give you all, all of me
19  And you give me all, all of you
20  How many times do I have to tell you
21  Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too
22  The world is beating you down, I’m around through every move
23  You’re my…..
“All of Me” “All of Me” is the third single from and sixth track on John Legend’s album Love in the Future (2013). Legend wrote it along with Toby Gad.
“Solomon’s Song of Songs”  The best Song of 1,005 that a king of Israel, Solomon, gifted with unmeasurable wisdom wrote about 970 BC.   That’s 3,000 years ago!
I will go sentence by sentence in this love poem and make comparison to that of Solomon’s love poem “The Song of Songs”

“All of Me”

1  “What would I do without your smart mouth
2  Drawing me in, and you kicking me out”

The first two lines are used to communicate the idea that he is lost without her, the two are one and she draws him closer by her smart words coming from a heart of love and rebukes him when need be.  “What would I do without your…”   Even though he says he wouldn’t know what he would do without her smart mouth, it is her he wants, not just her smart mouth, because of what it does.  It sweetly draws he in/closer to her, and when he probably deserved it her smart mouth “kicked him out”.
My interpretation of the lyrics would need personally talking to the author John Legend, so what I write is only my opinion and not what he may or may not of meant from the words.

Lost without her.  What would I do without you.  Without her doing her part how could the two be together.  He is praising her value.  He is highly esteeming the one he loves particularly for doing her part in the relationship.  Two acts of love in the 2nd sentence may seem like opposites,  words drawing him closer and then words kicking him out.  One is saying smart words that draw him in.  The other is words that kick him out.  The first two lines help us understand how she gave herself to him for the sake of a harmonious relationship with her smart words.  She gave of herself to him which included the words she said to her were out of love and for the sake of the relationship.

“kicking me out”  I can’t say for sure but what this looks like to me is her kicking him out of her physical presence so that they could be more on the same page about something.  Physical separation will cause lovers to think things through so that when he is invited back and no longer kicked out things can be resolved, he could cool off, they could think about things, then come back and either change or work it out together.  How can two walk together unless they be in agreement?

My opinion of the first two lines

They do a great job of illustrating how a relationship takes two working together.  This is seen in the words “I don’t know what I would do…”  He needs her as much as she needs him in order for a closer relationship “drawing me in”.   Obviously she loves and trusts him otherwise she wouldn’t say words that draw him closer. Specifically he points out that he needs her smart words, which come from her “beautiful mind” as in the 4th sentence of the song.  All in all an excellent first two lines.

3  Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down
4  What’s going on in that beautiful mind

“head spinning”  “don’t know what hit me”  When love strikes and the emotions are heightened it is easy to not think straight and the emotions seem to take over.  Love when heightened has a delightful intoxicating effect.  This intoxicating effect caused got his “head spinning” and he is serious about that, literally, “no kidding”.   In my mind I would like to figure you and this love thing that going on between me and you out but “I can’t pin you down.  Whats going on in that beautiful mind.”

Notice that John Legend is speaking in the first person.  This allows us to get into his mind and heart.  He has things going on in there that are best expressed from his point of view.  Where as if we were to see the two together we really wouldn’t know what was going on unless he shared with us he feelings.

5  “I’m on your magical mystery ride
6  And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright”

Him experiencing her love is like a “magical mystery ride” 5.   Her is a comparison.  3 things are meant to be communicated in my view.

Their love relationship was like a “ride”.  Then he uses 2 adjectives to describe the type of  ride he is on under the influence of her love.

The ride was “magical”

The ride was “mysterious”

“magical”  Love when heightened is like magic.  It is not an experience that is like the normal daily activities of life.  There is something above and beyond going on as he experiences her love.  His experience of her love was beautiful or delightful in such a way as to seem removed from everyday life, magical.

The word “your” in verse 5 gives us the idea that he is singing this directly to her and she is near him.

7  “My head’s under water
8  But I’m breathing fine”

Earlier his “head” was spinning, he is “dizzy”, things are mysterious, he can’t pin her down (figuratively) and now his head is underwater.  This sure is heightened feelings!!  More feeling than normal.  In our heart we have both a mind with thoughts and a heart, will or desire that feels, chooses and is satisfied.  When the part that feels love is feeling it to a great degree then the “head spins” things aren’t understood like a “mystery ride” and feeling like your head is underwater.

Take all this into consideration with may sound bad, but its not.   For John lets her know that he will be “all right”6 and  he is “breathing fine”.


9  You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind
10 ‘Cause all of me
11  Loves all of you
“Your crazy”  If Im not mistaken this means not that she is mentally ill but he highly esteems her ability to love him and feeling he really doesn’t deserve it says, “Your crazy”.
“And Im out of my mind”  here is another summary statement about his mind.  Remember his emotions had his head under water and spinning.  What he means is he high feelings of love and the state he is in now is that of being more in his emotions which seem to cloud his ability to see or logically know whats going on in her beautiful mind.  Im out of my mind and more in my feelings.
The reason for her craziness and him being out of his mind is two fold
1  She has nothing lacking that he doest love.  He loves all of her.
2  All of him loves all of her.  Meaning he knows within himself that there is not a part of him that doesn’t love her, that doesn’t feel for her.
Because of these two things she is crazy and he is out of his mind.

12  Love your curves and all your edges
13  All your perfect imperfections

“Love your curves and all your edges.”  Everything about her he loves and is delighted with.  “Curves” is obviously physical.  “All your edges” could be boundaries she has set.  Edges.  Points at which she goes only so far.  Or physical edges of her body.  It really doesn’t matter because he is only using words to communicate a principle universal Idea that true love is happy with the other for who they are not what they could be or what we think things will be like in the future.  True love see’s “all” of the other person and accepts them for who they are and knowing who they are and seeing everything about them, thats who they are, then love loves that person.  Provided that person has been displaying their true character both the good and the bad.  Then the man can see everything and still say he still loves her and all her “perfect imperfections” because all of him loves all of her.

14  “Give your all to me
15  I’ll give my all to you”

coupleholding hands on beach

In a marriage there is mutual possession, one of the other in love.  Love Gives.  Love gives ALL without reserve.  This shows the great extent of their love for each other.

I must say that the order of these words is, how shall I say this in a gentle way.  They seem to me to be in the wrong order.  He is proposing to her and says,  “Give your all to me I’ll give my all to you.”  Almost like it sounds like he wouldn’t give his all to her unless she first actually gives her all to him.   “Give your all to me, Ill give my all to you”    Is he saying that I will only do my part in the relationship if you do yours.  I doubt it.  That would make his love to her conditional upon her loving him first.  “Give your all to me, Ill give my all to you.”  I don’t think this to be his meaning.

Yet, if I wrote it I would put the sentence around.  I’ll give my all to you, give your all to me.  This puts the man loving first,  if the man says Ill give my all to you first, then she see’s his love to her first and then is enflamed by his love to her and then would give herself freely to him.  See my point.  But trying to put the Song in the best light.  What John could have meant by “Give your all to me, Ill give my all to you.”

If John had in his mind and heart a willingness to give his all to his future wife because what man doesn’t go to his wife and propose unless he is willing and believes he can be faithful to give his all to her.  I mean he probably already had it in his heart to give his all to her.  “Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you”.   He is wanting the feelings to be mutual.  “Give your all to me, Ill give my all to you”   True love desires reciprocation of feelings.  He is at the hight of his feelings towards her and wants her feelings to be the same.  The height or rather extent of true love is a wellness to give your all to the one you love and get better and better at it.  He is already committed before he sang to her.  He is already committed with his head spinning to give his all to her.   I would love to hear the conclusion to this love Song in 40 years when the two are one and the two are giving their all to each other and haven’t given up.

Another reason I tend to think that he already has it in his mind to give himself to her because he has already said it earlier in the song..

9  You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind
10 ‘Cause all of me
11  Loves all of you
When he says “cause all of me loves all of you”  John is already saying that all of him loves all of her.  When all of him loves her he is willing to give himself to her already not based on what he could get from her but because of who she is, “all of you”  He doesn’t say he loves what she does for him although that is true, but here he’s says he loves her for who she is.

Trying to give John some more credit, he did reverse the wording in verse 18 and 19 in a most masterfully way.

16  “You’re my end and my beginning”

It all about her, He is expressing his feeling about her and how they relate to him. “You’re my end and my beginning”  There could be many interpretations as to this one.

When waking up and going to bed.  She could be the last thing on his mind going to bed at the end of the day and she is the first thing on his mind when he awakes at the beginning.

When planing anything he has her happiness as the end of all he does.  And she is the beginning of all his thoughts so that her happiness will result, thus her being his end.

End and beginning.  Could be another way of saying she is his all and all.  Meant to communicate that she is so precious and valuable to him and close to his heart that from beginning to end she is the one on his mind and in his heart always.

17  Even when I lose I’m winning
18  ‘Cause I give you all, all of me
19  And you give me all, all of you

This is absolutely beautiful.  This verse has been a great delight to meditate on and ask questions.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 7.21.05 PM

First of all he repeats the word “all” 4x within 2 sentences.  When he sings this there is added meaning.  When he says the first all.  I give you all, all of me.  He says Ill give you all, then pauses and says all again.  This puts great emphasis on the word all, so that the first time you think of what he is going to give her you think of all of him.  Whatever idea you get of what that means for him to give his all to her is in your head during the pause.  Then he says, all again.  I give you all..  pause  all… of me.  As if the first all isn’t enough for us to get an idea of the extent to which he will give himself to her isn’t understood by us so he has to say it again.  I will give all to you.  Okay, I will surely give all without reservation to you.  As if in our first thought of all isn’t enough. He is trying to communicate to us his heightened emotions again by telling us two that he will give all of himself to her two different ways.  I give you all is the first way he says it.  Then he says “all of me”  so that we are sure of the extent of his love reaches to all of him.  Love gives, therefore he gives all of himself to her, all of him.

And then here comes the proposal, “and you give me all, all of you.”  Love is not one direction although sometimes it feels that way.  In the worse times of some relationships only one person may keep giving but in the best of them they both give their all to each other and where they don’t they keep on learning.  Love gives.  Love gives it its all.  Not portions of themselves and not half heartedly but with all its strength.

20  How many times do I have to tell you
21  Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too

“How many times do I have to tell you.”  Apparently he had to keep telling her that she was beautiful even when she cried.  She had some insecurities about her looks sometimes.  Each time he had to reaffirm what he thought of her beauty during these times that she felt not so beautiful.  He was always there each time to comfort her when she was feeling that way.  The good thing is that he didn’t waiver in his feelings for her.  Wether she was happy or crying she was still beautiful.

22  The world is beating you down, I’m around through every move
23  You’re my….

Love is there in the good time and bad and keeps being there even when the world was beating her down.  Life can get stressful and tough but there will always be someone right there by her side “through every move”

Solomon’s Song of Songs

Solomon’s wife also had delightful and precious words to say to her husband that drew out his love to her expressed in worthy praises of not only her words but also the loveliness of her mouth.  Since “All of me”  and The Song of Songs are different in their proposal, there is still some similarities in other place in the Song of Songs that is still like “All of me”.  So what is similar about both is the fact that the woman is both smart and use their words in a loving and sweet manner.  So Solomon compliments the lips of his bride similar to how John Legend praises the smart mouth of his bride to be.

“Your lips, my bride, drip honey; Honey and milk are under your tongue,” Song of Solomon 4:11
“Your lips are like a scarlet thread, And your mouth is lovely.” Song of Solomon 4:3
 “My beloved is min and I am his”  Song of songs 2:16
“I am my beloved, and his desire is for me.”  Solomon’s Song of Songs 7:10
The bride in the Song was also beautiful in hard times.  Solomon compare her to a lily among thorns.
“Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens”  Song 2:2
“There is no flaw in you” Song 4:7






The title “All of me” is a common understanding of love.  Love gives itself to the object of its affection.

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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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