Comparing Ephesians 6 and the Song of Solomon with 1 John 2:12-14
Ephesians 6:14 “Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.”
The Bride is in battle Song 1:9 and many other verses, so what is she equipped with?
Doves eyes, a mare like character, an unquenchable heart, Are of an infinite value in Christ,
1. Doves eyes are the first thing that the new believer is equipped for battle. Solomon compliments her has having these in Song 1:15 Doves eyes of Love are the first thing He equips her with Ez 36:26, this comes when the Very Flame of God entered her Song 8:6 (NASB). Included with the Doves eyes, she has the Holy Spirit in her, Remember the Spirit like of dove descended on Jesus. Jesus had doves eyes. With lazer focusing His Love on her, He shows it to her over and over again she experiences greater and greater height of Glory as she beholds the Beauty of the One she loves. Doves see only straight at the one they love, they are soul mates for life only one partner forever and eyes with no peripheral vision, they do not allow her to wander her eyes somewhere is for to long or Her lover will lovingly discipline her when her eyes are off of him. He is ravished with only one glance of her eyes his/His way. This “glance of her eyes is most precious and valuable to Him.” Song 4:9
“Doves Eyes” ever receiving light. Since her love was like a fire or flame that gives off light by which it is known so also her husband helped her understand the person and work and character of the coming Messiah as he relates to Israel so far as he knew. Light of the knowledge of the coming Messiah entered the heart of the bride. Her doves eyes were fixed by faith on the peroson and work of the coming Messiah as she saw him typified in the temple sacrificial system (substitutionary atonement was understood as the way of salvation), intercessory work of the high priest and Solomon’s love to his children by writing proverbs, and the Glory of God was seen reflected in his marriage as he loved his wife as the coming Messiah had loved Israel.
Secondly, what is she equipped with she is equipped with the character of a horse or Pharaoh’s chariots in battle. When you think of the Greatest King Ever and if He owned a horse that was in His Battle for Him, well He had the best of the best horses around. Trained specifically for battle. So she has doves eyes and the noble character of a mare harnessed to pharaohs chariots, noble, strong, steadfast, fearless in battle, swift, most obedient character, extremely valuable and precious to it’s owner. So she has two parts to her armor so far, 1. is her doves eyes 2 is she has the noble character of a mare harnessed to the chariots of Pharaoh. Not only these but she also has
- She is of an inestimable value in Christ. She is precious and valuable to Him. Like a diadem in His blood stained had. Precious jewels of Love, faith, hope and fear of the Lord bound to her heart. Beautiful, precious and admirable like jewel around her neck. Any bride of Christ would surely love to be adorned like this for her King on her wedding day at the marriage supper of the Lamb. This is what I am calling Bridegroom theology. The Song is a parable depicting a King who marries an enemy slave girl and pays her debt to set her free through union and communion and fellowship with Him in Love and Peace not enemies but two lovers loving with the most excellent love. Jems speak of value, preciousness and desirability. Remember she was not desired before. Now she is attractive. He made her beautiful. Washed in the Blood of the Lamb of God and garments of Love, faithfulness and righteousness adorn you!!
Doves eyes fixed on each other and she has the character of a mare and the value of the most precious thing you can think of and more. You are His delight, Tirzah, this is your nickname for delight. You are His Tirza. His Tizah is in you. United in death, burial and resurrection life. Your old self died when His Tirzah entered your soul. Compare Song 6:4 “Tirza” Meaning Delight. Love of Complacence in the object of its affection. She wants to see and experience his love over and over again and He delights to reveal His love to her in greater and greater degree’s of Glory thus changing her in accordance with 2 Cor. 3:18 This is how she she moved along in Her experience of the Love of God being shed abroad in her heart. She grew in Grace and Knowledge of love of God in Christ Our Lord. She grew in experiential knowledge of the Love of God and delight she has in experiencing that Love. For His Love is more delightful than wine.
These are the things our warrior bride for Christ gets when they are born again, though she gets them when she is born again, they may not be in full blossom but they are there blossoming as the foxes are being caught
The stronger her love the greater value He puts on her!! If you love is weak you will not feel as though you are a precious diadem in His hand, but more like an abandoned bride. What does the bride do when she feels abandoned, rejected and despised and not safe when He is not there? Song 3:1-4
How does she get rid of that bad feeling like she has done something wrong and is sorry for it because it hurt the one they love. And you love him/Him. You don’t want to hurt the one you love, do you? Now, out of Love and Joy and delight you have in Him, go out and sin no more. With your doves eyes focused on Him.
Key points to all the Gospel of Peace are all in the first chapter of the Song of Songs, listen up!! Arguing from the lesser Christ, Solomon, to the greater Lover Christ we will see the Gospel of Peace on display by the king/King to whom peace belongs. This gospel of peace we not ashamed of because it is both the power of God unto salvation and sanctification!
Eph. 6:16 “In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” The bride is bettering her shield faith and assurance and cleaning her mental teeth in Chapter 2,3, and 4 of the Song)
17 “Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit,which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”
Holding strong with the word of God abiding in the good times and bad, yet sometimes stumbling the strong young woman of a bride puts on her helmet of salvation having been firmly tested through the fire and come out pure and flawless Him in you an you in Him. Chapters 5,6,7 of the Song of Songs
In chapter 8 of the Song the Bride is a fully mature bride ready for her beloved with spices on top of multiple different mountain tops for long periods of time. This is the highest level of maturity possible on earth. Song 8:14. She knows it all, she can help any believer in any situation. They have been through all the phases by experience. They are still growing and may have to put off some childish things here and there but they have it all together for long periods of time able to bear fruit in abandonment and discretion like Job. And our Savior, My God, My God why have you forsaken me. And still worshipping through multiple ups and downs without fail…. Song of Solomon 8:14 “Hurry, my beloved, And be like a gazelle or a young stag On the mountains of spices.”
1 John 2:12-14 and 1 Pt 2:2-3
12 I am writing to you, dear children,
because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.
I am writing to you, young men,
because you have overcome the evil one.
I write to you, young men,
because you are strong,
and the word of God lives in you,
and you have overcome the evil one.
13 I am writing to you, fathers,
because you know him who is from the beginning.
2 Peter 2:2-3 like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, 3 if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.
and Babes are dull of hear and also get tossed to and fro from every wave of doctrine
Heb. 5:11 “Concerning him we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. 12 For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food. 13 For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant. 14 But solid food is for the mature (like the young man or strong young man), who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil.”
Babes lack training their spiritual senses. Training. They need to learn to walk by the Spirit and not by the flesh.
Herein you have the 5 phases of Christian Growth
- Babe phase Song of Songs 1:2-1:17
- Child phase 2-3:5
- Young man 3:6-5:1
- Strong young man 5:2-8:4
- Father/Mother fully adorned 8:5-8:14
Ephesians 6 The Armor
The Armor of the Babe in Christ for a new born Christian is immediately in the battle. What are the weapons she will use for war against her spiritual enemies?
- The belt of Truth “Follow the tracks of the sheep and rest your young goats by the shepherd tents” Song 1:8-9 in the Babe Phase is. If you desire a close relationship with God through a mediator you must “follow” what others did who are more mature than you and get your doctrine right. The babes drink this up, getting the pure milk of the word of God and obeying, confessing sin like David in Psalm 51 and repenting are where you find enjoyment in God and therefore glorify Him. This is your purpose in life. To experience the Love of God over and over again to greater and greater knowledge of the Love of God as he shed it abroad in our hearts.
- The breastplate of righteousness “Dark am I, yet lovely” Song 1:5 Babe phase. The loveliness of the bride comes from the moral excellence of Christ in her. Her Love to God. 2 Cor. 5:21 His righteousness becomes ours. So it is Christ in us that He Loves, yeah not just Christ in us but us He loves us because we are one with Him. He is our Husband and Head. He loves His body, the church, his holy, happy and lovely bride!!
- The Gospel of Peace is solidified in the heart by right meditations on Chapter 1-2:17, then in 3:1 that peace gets interrupted by his absence night after night. This is her falling to the temptations the devil brings specifically to God’s children that have received the Holy Spirit, who have no fear of punishment and believe they are forgiven for His names Sake not by works lest they should boast.
Now you are a Child and are led into the wilderness for testing like Jesus was and Israel. No extra armor is put on the Child accept for the assurance of salvation and the joy that is their strength that comes with that assurance. They don’t get that crown till they have overcome the evil one. The helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit the Word of God. Then abide in Love and ask whatever you wish. Yes the devil will come by to take your joy away by getting you to believe lies.
This is your phase in life, you who are becoming a young man, and you are fully equipped for winning the battles the Spirit led you here and you have 60 warriors at your side all experienced in battle, who rejoice and delight in your love for Christ, they desire to look into these things and rejoice when we repent Song 3, If there is a lie in your head then replace it with a truth, drill that truth in your mind over and over again. Another lie believed that tripped you up then find a truth in scripture that will shield you from believing that lie. You mind is being renewed. Your teeth are coming up from the washing as the Beauty of the Lord cleanses your mind and delights the heart.
The Young man has taken up the shield of faith 1000 times in this battle Song 4:4
1,ooo battles, believing no more lies. Away from me Satan! You have now overcome the evil one because in addition to the belt of Truth, the righteousness of Christ, the gospel of peace you took up “the shield of faith 1000 times, with which you extinguished all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” Ephesians 6:16 it doesn’t mean literally 1,000 what it means is that she is experienced in battle against her enemies she is not an impenetrable “wall” yet like in 8:10 but getting there.
Once the Young Man has overcome and passed the testing of his faith in the wilderness. His faith is pure and he is pure and flawless Song 4. So now his helmet is always on and will not fall into the lies of the evil one who tempts him to doubt his salvation. No more doubting. So He can now
Eph. 6:17 “Take the helmet of salvation”
Then the Strong Young Man knows how to use the abiding sword in battle, and is “among the royal chariots of God’s people” Song 8:12 by battling God’s enemy, pride by staying humble through longer periods of praises by taking up
Ephesians 6:17 “the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”
This is to have the Word of God abiding in you, you are in battle with the Word of God dwelling in you, you are able to stay humble longer, you are suffering sooner for your Husband Lord. Seeing Higher Glorious revelations of the Jesus Christ’s Love to us.
The Strong Young Man also since the Word of God is abiding they “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” Ephesians 6:18
Rev. 1:17-18 “When I saw Him, I fell at His feet like a dead man. And He placed His right hand on me, saying, “Do not be afraid; I am the first and the last, 18 and the living One; and I was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of death and of Hades.”
The fully mature spiritual Father or Mother has their mind much on the things of Eternality. “from the beginning” Him who is from the Beginning. The trinity. Their Love relationship. This eternal love greater than their sin so they don’t fear punishment from God they are so close to Him that they have to have their mind on Him who is from the Beginning. 1 John 2:13 and Rev. 1:17-18. In His presence and in a greater revelation of Himself to us like John in Rev. 1:12-16 will still cause fear of punishment. The heightened revelation still cause John whom Jesus loved and John knew it still feared the Wrath of God during a greater revelation of Himself. You could here John “Do not stare at me because I am dark” Jesus says do not be afraid you are lovely like the tent curtains of Solomon and Like Peter “Away from me for I am a sinful man”
Wherever you are, wether a Babe or a Child or a Young Man or Young Man becoming a strong Young man or a Father, you at at one level or another in union and communion with God through His Word.
Just thinking so don’t take this to serious
Christ puts the Amor on His bride by drawing you with His Love.
He equips her with doves eyes and with Love and faithfulness written on her heart. She desires only to behold His Beauty and Experience His Love and Grace over and over at greater depths, heights, lengths and breadths because His Love is more delightful than wine.
The first adornment is around her waist. or her neck in her mind is Truth but believed by the whole heart. Mind, will and emotions. The belt of Truth. Knowledge of God in the mind and desire for him in the will and delight to and love in Him by the emotions. Truth communicated to the heart and grace to the will.
The first adornment of the Bride is her fear of God, reverence for the King because of Truth in the heart and righteousness in life. The belt of Truth around the waist. Truth is in the heart.
Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.
I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.
I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.
If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28
I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.
If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.
Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.
About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.
As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.
Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.
I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.
I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.
I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.
I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.
I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.
I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.
California at age 26.
I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.
One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.
By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.
I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."
So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.
After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.
I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.
I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.
I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.
The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.
About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.
I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.
Then this life changing advice came:
A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.
In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.
I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.
About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.
I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.
So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.
I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.
Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.
About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.
Then a mission trip to Croatia.
Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.
About 3 years saved now.
I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.
Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.
I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.
Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.
My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!
I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.
God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.