Verse
“We will rejoice and delight in you, we will remember/value/exult/praise you love more than wine.” Solomon’s Song of Songs 1:4
What to do
In order to get closer to the one you love you must
1 Look for acts of love to get some idea of it.
2 Delight in those acts.
3 Praise love where you see and delight in it.
Summary of the context
The people remembering, highly valuing, exulting and praising the kings love more than wine. They see the loveliness of the ways of the king of peace, whom God loves, and this inclines them to walk in holiness. Their act of praise is a holy action prompted by the knowledge of who their Messiah was and what he would do for them. The sight and delight of his love inclined them to respond in a holy action of praise!
Not only did Solomon draw out the affection of a Gentile slave girl to want to marry him, but also Solomon drew out the affection of God’s people in His kingdom.
The people drew near their king, saw his love, delighted in him and praised his love more than wine. Solomon loved the people and the people of Jerusalem loved their newly anointed Messiah.
1 Look for acts of love to get some idea of it.
Love is communicated to the mind by the action of love being seen and delighted in.
Therefore love must be first seen by an action.
When you see love by an action you get some idea of what love is in your mind. Therefore #1 look for acts of love and watch them to get an idea of love.
These acts of love when seen and delighted in have power to draw the two closer. Acts of love when seen and delighted in have power. Acts of love when seen and delighted in have power to unite and bring about a stricter union of hearts.
In our hearts and souls is a mind. That mind has thoughts, idea and information in it. In the mind we need to have a proper idea of love in order to “love God with all our mind”. That love to God will manifest itself in our acts of love to other’s. “If you love God you will obey His commands.” God commands husbands and wives to love each other.
When God’s idea of Himself, who is Love is the same as your idea of God and Love then the two of you would be one. But our Idea of God is lesser than God’s infinite idea of Himself, yet the same in many ways. We can get a better and better idea of love that is similar to God’s idea of Himself. The better our idea of God the stricter our practical union with Him is. The stricter the union, the closer we are to God and the more power we have to draw the one we love closer to ourselves. So look for acts of love wherever you may see them. In God to Israel, in Jesus to His disciples, in Jesus to His Bride at the cross, in a husband doing the laundry, in a husband forgiving his wife, in a wife listening to her husband, in a wife delighting in the love of her husband, in one country loving another and on an on.
2 Delight in those acts of love more than wine.
The people promise to rejoice/delight and praise the couples love more than wine. First, they have some idea of the kings love to his people and his bride. And second, they have some idea of the sense of it in their hearts, for it is more delightful than wine. So love is not only known by sight but also by sense. Because love is the soul’s relish of the supreme excellency of the divine nature inclining the heart to love.
I’ve met couples that delighted in the suffering of their spouse. That delighted in revenge rather than love that forgives. Love delights in the happiness of the object of its affection. Not only is there a superlative delight in receiving love but there is a superlative and sweet flame of delight in the heart of the one doing the loving act. For love is not complete until we love.
“But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in Him”
3 Praise your spouses love!
Examples of praising your spouses love.
“Your love is more delightful than wine.” Here the superlative sweetness of your spouses love is being exulted and praised.
“Your love is more precious than diamonds or rubies.” Here the superlative value of your spouses love is being appreciated, exulted and praised.
An observation on the power of love to change and transform the heart to becoming more loving.
Seeing and delighting in transforms, elevens, enlarges the heart, inclines the heart.
The sight and sense of love has an effect in the heart. It inclines the heart to love. It inclines the heart to reciprocate the same affection.
We become more like what we love.
We are transformed to be more like Jesus who is loving when we see His holy and loving actions, delight in them and praise His love more than wine.
In doing so your heart will have a better idea of love and you will love more.
When we behold and delight in love it is the same as beholding the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ both are transforming.
“Charity/love . . . rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. …. if he sees the loveliness of the ways of holiness, this tends to incline him to walk in them. JE
Many Christians don’t grow in love because they are trying the wrong way. We get to be more loving by beholding and delighting in seeing God’s attributes in the Person and work of Jesus Christ!
2 Cor. 3:18 “And we all, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
Homework for both
Promise to rejoice and delight in each other and their love.
Promise to praise each other’s love more than wine.
Commit to looking for acts of love.
Delight in acts of love by your spouse.
Homework for women
Women, you can be specific in you praise of your husbands love.
Look your spouse in the eye and smile and say to your sweetheart,
“Your love is delightful to me.”
You picked up your clothes.
You did the laundry for me.
You work hard every week to provide for our family.
You lead and guide our family using the Scriptures.
You listen to me when I need you.
You are there for me when Im sick.
You open the door for me.
You forgive me and are not angry with me when I sin.
You are patient with me.
You are getting better and better at loving me.
You try your best to understand me.
You draw me closer by your acts of love.
You say the sweetest things.
You shepherd my heart closer to Jesus.
In all these ways I see God displaying His love to me through you and it is delightful.
Women, show your love to your husband so that he can see it, delight in you and praise your love more than wine.
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:22-24
Think of the ways in which the Bride of Christ is to love Jesus and love your husband the same way.
Homework for Husbands
Think of at least 10 loving things your wife does and list them here.
- 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
Read through this list of 100 things a husband can do for his wife and commit to doing at least one more thing today then more and more for your wife thus proving your growing love for her. You are hers. You belong to her. Give yourself to her. Make her happy and happier. Deny yourself time, money and sleep for her happiness.
Don’t forget the most important spiritual things like studying the Bible with her, praying with her, fasting, going to church, shepherding her heart closer to Jesus etc.
What loving things does the husband in the Song do in these verses
He satisfies her desires 1:4, 2:4. He is there to shepherd her 1:8, He overcomes her insecurities with sweet words and also compliments her fearless, powerful and swift pursuit of him 1:9-10, He admires her eyes1:15. He provides a luxurious resting place 1:17. Says sweet things like complimenting her beautiful moral character in the midst of trial 2:2. He is there for her when she needs him 2:6, 8:3, 8:5. He provides 2:3 and protects 2:3, 3:8, 4:8. He is ready to listen to her and gets her to be sincere when she feels safe 2:14. He gives himself to her 2:16. He is there for her wisely loving her when she doesn’t feel it 2:17. He compliments her outer beauty 4:1-7, 6:4-9, 7:1-7. He compliments her inner beauty of love 4:9-10. He praise her virginity 4:12. He lets her know he is satisfied with her 5:1, 7:5. In times where she may find it difficult to listen to him he encourages her with sweet words 5:2. He is her best friend 5:16. Even when naked he makes her feel unashamed 4:1-7, 7:6-9. He possesses the most powerful love and holy jealousy, that cant be quenched and is priceless Song 8:6-7.
Since he is so loving he is altogether lovely 5:16, His reputation is good and his name sweet 1:3
Love as Christ loved
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”
Men, think of the ways in which you Heavenly Bridegroom loves you and love you wife the same way.
1 He gave Himself to and for you so give yourself to and for your spouse.
2 “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Never ending. Faithfully, always, constantly. This speaks to the duration of your love. It is never ending.
3 He praises and rejoices over His Bride. Look at these verses and what do they tell you about God’s rejoicing over His Bride Israel?
God rejoices over Israel
King James Bible
“The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.” Zeph 3:17
Jesus praises His Bride.
The master in the parable praises and rewards his servant the same as Jesus will praise His Bride when they meet in heaven. What does the master/Master say to the servant?
His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.” Mathew 25:23
The husband praises the love and nobility of his excellent bride in Proverbs 31:28-29
“Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
29 “Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
The husband praises the wife because she is worthy of it.
“a woman who fears the Lord, she is to be praised” Prov. 31:30
Don’t hold back what your wife is worthy of, praise both her inner and outer beauty.
4 Jesus intercedes and prays for His Bride because he loves her. So pray for your wife. Ask for her concerns and pray for them.
5 Jesus gave his life for His Bride and all husbands ought to do the same.
Men,
Look to the place in the Love Song where the husband praises his bride and look for similar situations in your courtship and marriage where you could praise the one you love.
He praise her acts of love in Song 1:6, 4:7-10, 6:8-9
He praises her fearless, powerful and swift pursuit of a closer relationship with himself in Song 1:9. Therefore he praises her internal beauty and compares her to a mare in battle.
He praises her external beauties in Song 1:10, 1:15, 4:1-7, 7:1-6
Questions for men. Homework
In what ways have I given myself to my wife, so that I can keep doing them?
In what ways am I failing in giving myself to and for my wife? What can I do to change and show her my love?
What have I done today to grow my idea of love? What can I do to get a better understanding and sense of what love is? Now do it!
Memorize Solomon’s Song of Songs 8:6-7
“love is as strong as death, its jealousy is as cruel as hell fire. It is a flame above all other flames. Many waters can’t quench it and rivers cant overflow it. If someone where to give their whole household for love it would be utterly scorned.”
Love is strong, its jealousy is cruel like hell fire. It is a flame above all others, is unquenchable and priceless.
How does you seeing, delighting in and praising your spouses love show the power of love to unite and draw her closer?
What would such actions have power to do?
Would it hurt or be cruel to not do so?
How would doing so help make love unquenchable?
How much value would you put on a love that did such things?
How much value would you put on a wife that did such things? Would she be “worth more than rubies“? Proverbs 31:10
Contents of this page
Verse
What to do
General Context
Observations
Questions for Husbands, wives, courtship
Questions relating to other verses
Explain or ask how does this verse teach us what “love is…” according to Song 8:6-7?
Thank you for your response. ✨
1 Make sure that the other person feels as if being loved by you is one of the most delightful experiences. Solomon’s Song of Songs 1:2, 2:3, 4:10
2 Have a better and better reputation so that the thought of your name is sweet to your spouse. 1:3
3 Be on the same page, run together and don’t waste time getting closer to someone who is trustworthy and like Jesus Christ. 1:4 Work together on the same goal/s at the right pace, for how can two run together unless they be in agreement.
4 See, Delight and Praise Love
Lesson 5 is next week
5 Be humble and have a right view of yourself for pride separates but love and humility will unite. 1:5, 2:1
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