The Perfect Lover and Friend!!

How would you describe the perfect lover?

If there was a man who was the best husband in the world, how would you describe him?

Jesus is obviously the perfect spiritual Husband!!  All other husband pale in comparison to Him.

Im talking about a husband so much like Jesus Christ that he loved his wife as Christ loved his Bride and gave himself up for her.

How would you describe such a husband?   What would he do?  What would he think of God?  What would he think of his bride?  What will he say to her to draw her closer to himself?   What would he do to increase the level of spiritual and physical intimacy in the marriage?  And because of who he is and what he does for you your description of you husband who is better than any other husband would go something like this….

“My beloved above all other beloved’s is glorious and majestic yet humble,
    outstanding among ten thousand.
11 His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy
    and black as a raven.
¹² His eyes are like doves by the water streams,
washed in milk, mounted like jewels.
¹³ His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume.
His lips are like lilies
    dripping with myrrh.
¹⁴ His arms are rods of gold
    set with topaz.
His heart is like polished ivory
    decorated with lapis lazuli.
¹⁵ His legs are pillars of marble
    set on bases of pure gold.
His appearance is like Lebanon,
    choice as its cedars.
¹⁶ His mouth is sweetness itself;
    he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved, this is my friend.”

I tell you what.  This is a description of a the king who was most like Jesus Christ at the time is the princess of peace’s husband, Solomon, the king of peace, Jedidiah, beloved son of God, Israel’s 3rd Messiah who was gifted with unmeasurable wisdom.

Imaging a husband who had unmeasurable wisdom and “loved God” and his wife with an unquenchable love 8:6-7.  1 Kings 4:29 and 1 Kings 3:3.

Every woman ought to be thinking “Where is he?”  or “I want to get him”  ( or let me know what you would say in the comments below.)

Every Christian ought to be thinking.  Wow that man would be a whole lot like Christ!  To see the glory of God in the face of Solomon is to see the glory of a type of Christ!

When you read this description, it is a description from his wife’s point of view as to what he was like and why he was a “beloved above all other beloved’s” 5:9.

No wonder the puritans thought the Love Song above all other’s was about Jesus and His love to his Bride and replaced Solomon for Jesus.  But no Solomon was “chief among ten thousand” other lovers, yes!  But Jesus is “Greater than Solomon” Matt. 12:42

See the glory!  See the majesty of Solomon as king of nations next to his humility as a child asking for wisdom!!  For her husband above all others was “glorious and majestic yet humble“.

Do you see the beauty of what looks like opposite characteristics in the same person?   I mean how hard would it be for a man with unmeasurable wisdom to stay humble.  How beautiful is it to see the most majestic king who would receive more honor, glory and riches than anyone else because of his “love for God” and His people over riches.

Most translations say she describes him as

Radiant and Ruddy

White and Ruddy

Clear and Ruddy

Dark and Dazzling

Fit and Strong

The point here that the bride is trying to make about her husband above all other’s is that what makes him stand out is that he is not only the best lover of all other beloved’s he is glorious, beautiful and majestic above all other’s yet at the same time he is humble!

It would be easier for a king of kings to exalt himself in his own mind than it would for the poorest man alive!  Solomon received more honor than anyone else in his lifetime!

I’m so glad that when we read this that it is flat out obvious that her husband was not a statue that had a head that was pure gold!!

So we don’t take this verse literally of course. So we take it figuratively.  “His head is purest gold” NIV, BSB, CSB, CEV, HCSB

Well, at this point you might be thinking…. “thats the translation you chose”  okay so lets look at some others.

“His head is finest gold”  ESV, NLT

“His head is as the most fine gold” KJV

She is not just describing what he literally looks like as in the rest of the verse when she talks about his hair.  “his hair was black as a raven”  His hair can literally be black as a raven.  So we take it literally but his head can’t be literally pure gold otherwise he would be dead or a statue.

So we take it figuratively to mean his headship.  Or his leadership.  His leadership in Israel was pure gold and his leadership in the marriage was pure gold.  As head of Israel he did a flawless job because God gifted him with unmeasurable wisdom.  As head of his wife he was also like pure gold, flawless and valuable.  His leadership as king in Jerusalem had nothing wrong with it from her perspective!!  His leadership in the marriage had nothing wrong with it either!!  Due to the fact that his leadership was more honorable than any other king in his lifetime this made his leadership valuable thus the use of the word “gold”.  Gold is also desirable to have.

Therefore I take the metaphor to have 3 lively illustration in it.

1  The fact that it was pure.  His leadership was pure or the finest.  So we have Solomon being a superlative leader over Israel and his wife.

2  The fact that his head was very valuable.  Gold has value.  Pure Gold has the greatest value.  The finest Gold has the greatest value.  His leadership had a greater value to it than any other leader, which is one reason why he was a husband above all other husband’s.

3  Since he leadership was flawless and valuable above all other’s this made him most desirable to have as a husband.   If you had your choice, wouldn’t you want someone who’s leadership was like purest gold or like silver or copper?   Gold leadership holds more value therefore he should be treasured all the more by his wife!!

God is the best leader and when a husband uses the Word of God to guide his marriage then his authority in the marriage would be of great value to his wife.  His head would be like pure gold.

If the husband was guided by the unmeasurable wisdom of Solomon in his marriage then the wife would value her husband all the more!!

Solomon wasn’t the perfect husband in every respect but he was be like our Perfect Husband.  This is why Solomon is a type of Christ and Jesus Christ is the Anti-type.  All husbands are supposed to be like Christ.  Solomon was the most like Christ in his lifetime.

Jesus Christ is guided by unmeasurable wisdom, motivated by infinite love and will always be faithful!!  His head is infinitely pure gold!!

Application for

Husbands

Use the word of God and Song of Solomon as your guide in your marriage!!  See how Solomon loved his wife and you should do the same!!   See how Solomon loved his wife and then see how Jesus loves you even more then love you wife as Christ loves you!

Match yourself up with Solomon and see how you compare.  He was chief among ten thousand.  So maybe your somewhere down at the bottom of the list or the middle and if you are  quite like Christ then Im sure you would be closer to the top.  But Solomon would still out husband you.   I mean unless you had unmeasurable wisdom then you could say you matched him, but no man before or after Solomon would ever be so blessed.  See how he wisely and lovingly leads her, see how he shepherds her heart, see how he woo’s her closer to himself by his love and faithfulness, see his sweet words he says, see him forgiving and overlooking her sin, see his patients, see his loves, see how he gives himself to her, see how he treasures her, see how he praises her and do the same as soon as possible!

You are royalty!!  In Christ you are of the highest royalty, you must act like it with humility.  Don’t misuse or flaunt your role over your wife, but serve her in love.  A good leader leads by example first.  You are not only most glorious in Christ you must also be humble in your marriage so that you have leadership like purest gold.

Wife

The wife is to submit to the husband.  Ephesians 5:22ff.   Eve was to submit to Adam for Adam was made first.  He is the head she is the body.  When a husband uses the Word of God as his Authority in the relationship then submission to her husband is submission to God.  Love to husband and love to God in one act.  Submit to your husband as you are to submit to your heavenly Husband.

Have no fear of listening to a husband who uses Scripture as his guide in marriage because God knows best!!  I mean do you want worldly advice on how to have a happy and holy marriage or Godly advice.  God gave us a whole book on marriage.  Eight full chapters of it.  If you husband is using the Song of Songs properly as his guide to loving you in the marriage, then how precious and valuable is that!

How many guys out there even care to look to Scripture and then do what it says?  Not very many.  If you have a husband who uses Scripture as his guide then his leadership will become more and more pure and valuable as time goes on.

The believer

Jesus Christ is your spiritual Husband, not a physical husband on earth but he is your Husband and we are the Bride.  We are united to Him.  We are one, so we should act like it.

The bride admired and valued the leadership of her husband in the Love Song, then how much more so are we to value Jesus Christ in our relationship with Him.  Do you see the more so in the above sentence.  Jesus is Greater than Solomon, therefore his headship is greater, infinitely greater!  Infinitely more worthy of honor and glory.  We don’t have an idiot for a leader we have an infinitely wise and immutable Leader who’s head is infinitely pure and valuable therefore he is worthy of our deepest love, highest treasuring and humble submission!

Admire the suitableness or fitness of Jesus Christ to be our Perfect Husband.  He perfectly qualifies, we ought not to question his leadership and Authority over us in our relationship with Him.  We ought to hurry to learn and do more from Him!  We ought not to waist any time going elsewhere for wisdom.  God has given us “everything for life and godliness” in Christ and the Scriptures.

Another piece of advice would be for you to value your Bible!  Treasure it as a great love gift from God that you don’t deserve at all!!