Be Friends!

There is a friend in the Bible that was a better friend than 10,000 other friends.  Line up a myriad of friends and this friend stood out.  Who is this friend.  

Maybe you thought Jesus.   Yes, he is the Best Friend above all other’s yeah,  Infinitely better than all the rest.  But I’m talking about the husband in Solomon’s Song of Songs.

His bride says this about him,

“My beloved is dazzling and humble,
Outstanding among ten thousand… this is my friend.”  Solomon’s Song of Songs 5:10,16

Without going into to much detail.  In this section of the love poem the bride is focused on two different key characteristics about her husband.

One, that he is her beloved.  The other is that he is her friend.   When she goes to describe her husband what comes to her mind is someone who loves her.  Therefore she calls him “My beloved”.

What also comes to mind about her husband is that he is her friend.

There are many aspects or categories of friends.  What are all the senses in which her husband is her friend?

They are close friends.  Closer friends.  Closest friend.  Our brother or sister could be a friend.   In war time when you see another person you wonder “Are they my friend or enemy?  Then you have the opposite sex that can be your friend.  Girls that can be your friend and boys that can be your friend.  Then you have a boy that dating a girl and calls her my girlfriend.  Let look in more detail about what the Bible says about friends.

1.  Friends love so they are for one another’s good and happiness.    He isn’t against her but for her.  His His desire is for her.  in the Brides words she says,  “I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.”  Song 7:10  “friendship with the world is enmity against God.”  Jesus was wrongly accused of being a “friend” of sinners.  Or in other words having a love of complacency in them.  Love of benevolence yes, but not complacency.
2.  Friends are not perverse and nor do they spread strife or slander one another because slander separates close friends. Proverbs 16:28
3. Friends talk and converse about the things they share in common that bind them together.
4.  Thing that cause separation are not intentionally repeated by friends. Proverbs 17:9
5. Friends get the privilege of their friend not taking up a reproach against them. Psalm 15:3
6. Friends forgive transgressions and sins.  They don’t stay angry with the other person. Luke 5:20
7. Their love is constant in the good and bad times for “A friend loves at all times.” Proverbs 17:17
8. Their are people who have to many friends and come to ruin but there is a friend who is closer than a brother.  Proverbs 18:24
9. If you have purity of heart and gracious speech then even the king will be your friend. Proverbs 22:11
10. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” Proverbs 27:6
11. Friends give sweet counsel to one another. Proverbs 27:9
12. Friends are equals, companions and familiar with each other. Psalm 55:13

So when your getting to know someone in dating the idea is to become a closer friend and brother or sister in the LORD.  You become a closer friend by showing love.    So what do you do when dating as it relates to you being their friend?  

• 1 Do things that make the other person happy and are for their good. 
• 2  Don’t spread strife or slander.
• 3  Have conversation about the things you share in common. 
• 4  If you know something offends them don’t do it.
• 5  Choose to not reproach them always. 
• 6  Forgive and don’t be angry. 
• 7  Let your love be constant 
• 8  Get closer as friends 
• 9  Have purity of heart, sincerity and gracious speech. 
• 10  Count it love and faithfulness if a friend rebukes you. 
• 11  Give sweet counsel on to the other. 
• 12  Consider yourselves equals, companions that are familiar with each other and share common bonds.  

So if you want to date someone your not asking them to marry you but become closer friends and in the process you may reach the point of proposal when the time is right. Or the two of you may choose to not spend time together anymore but still be friends.   You should also use this time of dating to be a brother or sister in the Lord, but I will Lord willing go into more detail on that later.   Let me know some ways you became closer friends in dating. Love is strong enough to draw to people closer as friends. If you can’t be closer friends outside of marriage in dating then it will be worse in marriage.