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Meditating on Love

A bunch of my unedited thoughts on love

Meditating on love is one of the most delightful, enlightening, peaceful and holy feeling.

Meditating on love is the same as knowing what love is intellectually or knowing love in the mind.

This idea, a true idea of love consists in two things.

1 The soul with it’s mind having knowledge of love. Information. Intellectually knowing something in the mind. Where your thoughts are.

This knowledge of love consists in two categories of Ojbective and Subjective truth. Objective truth being primarily a right idea of God. This idea of God is objective, meaning it doesn’t change. God is immutable and does not change. Nor would a true idea of Him change.

If you have a true idea of God’s love through union and communion in love and faith in Jesus Christ. (Which is what we will do later in this post by going through Solomon’s song of Songs 1:2 “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his lips, for your love is better than wine.”)

Your feelings, where are they.

They are attached to your idea’s. Your thoughts. The feelings attached or that come with certain and various truths in the mind will help inform us or give us what is called now as experiential knowledge of God. Consisting in both the understand of God and the sense of His love. This way love is not only fully known by just a thought in the mind.

True, joy unspeakable and peace beyond understanding that the Spirit of God communicates to our mind must and absolutely must have that feeling sensed.

It must be felt. Love, True and Holy, Pure and Peaceful beyond imagination must be felt in order to be truly and fully understood. Someone must have Spiritual understanding. The Spirit of God is love. God is love. The Spirit’s job or role is to communicate the purest and truest idea of God, the Holy Spirit who’s nature and essence is LOVE.

The love she felt in her heart for Christ Solomon has something about it that is similar to the love felt in our hearts towards Christ Jesus.

See the bride of Christ Solomon as she has feelings for him. His name/Name was pleasing like smelling holy anointments coming off a Messiah of Israel who is close enough to smell. She hears about Christ Solomon. Jedidiah, beloved son of God. Chosen and anointed by God to fulfill help fulfill God’s promises. Temple.

1 Temple. Those promises to build a temple where God could come down and dwell with man on earth. A temple that would bear God’s Name. See his Glory. Behold the Beauty of LORD. The Beauty being His Holiness. His Holiness consists in His Love. Primarily His Love to Himself. Or love to His Son. His Son being the image of the invisible God. God Eternally having and Idea of Himself or His Son Eternally was always there with an infinitely Holy feeling. LOVE.

2 Peace. Peace with God by believing in His Name as reflected in the temple sacrificial system. Basically, the character of God, the idea of the old testament gospel is understood or made known by substitutionary atonement. The innocent lamb dies in your place. The Jew was to believe that he could not work or earn his way to heaven or the kingdom of God in doing good works. But would not suffer the second death in hell forever because the Jew would know that as he put his hand on the bull before the priest killed it, the jew would know that his putting his hand on the bull before it died represented the transferring of his sin to a valuable and pure substitute. The Jew wouldn’t die. The soul that sins dies. But I sin and I am alive and not dead. How could God be true. He said that on the day that you eat of the forbidden fruit, you will die.

Adam did not feel the full punishment of God in the warning. God said Adam would die, but God was gracious and let Adam die. How could God be true to Himself? The true Substitute Jesus Christ would die in Adams place. What Adam deserved for sinning, Jesus Christ would feel. It’s as if Adam put his hand on the believe that someone (a savior, Jesus), would come and give a death blow to Satan Gen. 3.

God’s gracious and merciful and forgiving name is revealed by believing the gospel, the good news about substitutionary atonement, The believe in knowing that God would send a lamb, a substitution/Substitution (a substitution is someone standing in your place. a substitute. Some other being/Being suffering in my place, thus feeling the death I deserved. But the substitute that did nothing wrong dies.

am I ranmbling. Sorry, I do often have a plan but my mind goes off thinking and delighting in so much that I get off my main goal of this post. Lol. My main goal was to teach how to meditate on love.


God loves the Son. The Son loves the Father. Love is in the Son. Love is in the Father. The Spirit is Love.

We are spirit. The soul is spirit. Invisible. The body is physical and we can see it, touch it, smell it. The physical body is known though our physical senses.

In our spirit our idea of God is sensed by what is called the heart. The seat of our emotions. Our feelings. The heart is a faculty of the soul that’s job is to sense feelings as special grace allows truths to enter the mind.

The text. How to meditate on it to get a sweet and delightful feeling?

Did you get that?! I am going to help you get a sweet and delightful feeling!! Yep! I mean. Can you think of anything else you may want more than this? I want nothing more than to sense the sweet love of God that comes through faith and communion with Him and His son/Son. The Son being the Word of God.

The text.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his lips, for your love is better than wine.”

Truly this is a born-again Gentile in love with the newly anointed Christ Solomon. She gets a holy spark enflaming her heart that is felt. She feels the sweetness of it and it is better than wine. She senses her feelings for Christ Solomon, that she would like to have a closer more physical, emotional, mental and spiritual relationship with him. So, as he walks by her, she is both sensing the feeling of love to him and knowing what it would feel like to be experienced at a more intimate level. The feeling of love would be better than wine. Better than anything life can offer. Of YHWH, the psalmist says, “Your love is better than life.” The Psalmist had a love relationship with YHWH. YHWH loved the Psalmist. And the Psalmist loved God who loved him and forgave him his sins due to a sacrifice dying as a substitute, bearing the punishment for my sins. An innocent being, spotless lamb/Spotless Lamb. Dying and suffering in my place. Praise God from whom all blessing flow!!

Psalm 63:3Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.”

Gladness. Wine makes the soul glad. The heart senses gladness when wine is drank,

Psalm 104:15 “And wine which makes man’s heart glad, So that he may make his face glisten with oil, And food which sustains man’s heart.”

So, for the born again Gentile to sense the love of God in her heart as Christ Solomon kissed her over and over again. The feeling would be better than any other experience she has had thus far in life.

The feelings in the text. Love. Love to Christ Solomon in the form of desire. Desire for him/Him. She wants Him and the experience of His love over and over again because it is better. Superlatively good.

Can you see her desire for Christ Solomon. Him and her are not an item yet. So, think of them as never met before. It is his anointing as the 3rd kingly Messiah of Israel who would bring a message of peace with God. She desires kisses from him and they haven’t even met yet. The first spark of her love to him comes with and idea of him, a desire for a closer more intimate relationship with him and she knows that the feeling of being shown love over and over again by Christ Solomon in a more intimate way than anything she has experienced thus far. She loves him and desires Him. She desires Him and a closer relationship with him.

If you know what it feels like to desire Jesus Christ then you will also know both by intellectual knowledge and by past feeling what it like. She has a desire for a more physical, spiritual, mental and emotional relationship with Israel’s 3rd kingly Messiah. You have a desire for a more physical (we want to be in his physical presence and hug him/Him be off this cursed earth and be physically with Him at the Lambs supper. We want to be with him as he/He, Jesus Christ, LORD of lords rules on earth.

1 Physically, We want to be physically with Him and Lordwilling get a holy kiss from the Son on our hand or forehead or cheeks. (but not on the lips as the woman in the song).

2 Mental closeness. A deeper mental closeness comes with more knowledge of God in the mind. This more knowledge is a greater level of glory in the mind. taking it from “one level of glory to another.” 2 Cor. 3:18. We also desire mental closeness. Mental closeness is desiring to know more about Jesus in your mind. Growing in the knowledge of Him. More information or truths about him in my and delighted in brings me closer to Jesus. Thus being able to experience the love of God in Christ at a more intimate mental level.

Yet the mind (with its thoughts) is not a faculty of the heart on it’s own.

2 Emotional. A deeper level of emotional closeness is achieved when feelings about more and more intimate things are the same and mutual. first she says, “my beloved is mine and I am his.” 2:16 the giving of herself freely to him comes after her expressing her delight in him belonging to her. Yet the two aren’t practically one yet. She learns to give herself fully to him and says, I am his first. Song 6:10 “I am his and he is mine

On the same page, different roles, perfect and sweet harmony like the soul and body. Mind and body.

The mind and feelings are one.

The Father and Son are one.

Husband and wife are one.

The soul of man, being made in the image of the invisible God, reflects the oneness of the Father and Son.

Love is the feeling that comes with the thoughts.

In and with the feeling of Love, comes desire that is felt or sensed when love sparks in the heart for another being. Be it God, Jesus or spouse etc.

Depth of love would be increased if she got her wishes of multiple kisses on the lips. Depth of love her in this verse is seen in a deeper level of intimacy being desired by the single virgin. Lord willing in His Timing.

Here also she wants a deeper level of emotional closeness. Emotionally they are not on the same page yet. The same page, both having a desire express and receive love at a closer and more intimate level. She desires him. But does he desire to be more intimate with her? In a few verses later we learn that he does start to get feelings for her after she verbally expresses her feelings to him as she thinks of his name.

But at the point that he does want to kiss her in God’s timing and when she has in her heart that she also would like to have a closer more intimate relationship with him then emotionally they are closer. Him meeting her at the same deeper level of desire for each other. Their feelings for each other is mutual in this matter.

Now that deeper level of desire, if it be true and sincere, will then manifest itself in some form or fashion. The form the desire and love she had for him took in our text is her letting us know what was in her mind when she felt love for the coming king, Solomon. She wanted a closer more intimate love relationship.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his lips, for your love is better than wine.Song 1:2.

Desire is felt in unrequited love.

This feeling of love the certain desires that come with it can also include longing.

Depth of love. God put on flesh. God got closer to man by putting on flesh and walking amoung us.

Nearness of relation. Making us His Bride, His adopted children, friends not enemies etc.

Physical, emotional, spiritual, mental closeness. When a further degree of any category is achieved then something else is more. More love. A further degree of knowledge of God allows the heart to love God yet know the soul has a higher view of God. God’s love reaches to the infinitely great and high view He has of Himself or the same His Son.




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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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