Eros love is a sensible feeling that makes you desire physical intimacy with the one you love.
Eros love is a sensible feeling that makes you desire not only physical intimacy but also physical intimacy at a deeper level as well.
Eros love is a Greek word having to do with any form of physical intimacy (any form of skin on skin like holding hands, hand on shoulder, holding his arm, head leaning on beloved, kissing, caressing, making love etc.)
Philia love is brotherly love outside of family. Storge love has to do with feelings towards family members. Agape is a fuller complete love usually having to do with the lover making a sacrifice for the beloved.
Eros love can be holy or sinful. The feeling can please God or displease Him depending on the motives of your heart. Any desires for physical intimacy must not come with lust but rather a humble heart that submits to the desire being fulfilled in the proper time.
Where do we see the either lover wanting physical intimacy?
1 We see the single woman having holy eros feelings for the newly anointed king when she first thought of what it would be like to have her feelings reciprocated.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his lips, for your love is better than wine.” Song 1:2
She wants kisses. This is eros love excited in her. A holy eros love and not sinful lust is in her heart. She wants physical affection in God’s timing.
2 Next time we see eros love is not in desiring but happening when she feels loved and starts to swoon and he catches her. This is the first time they physically touch. Remember the first touch of the one you love.
“His left hand is under my head and his right arm embraces me.” Song 2:6.
Him catching her just sort of happened. But the feel of being physically held for the first time by the man she was dating must have been magical and beyond words!
Here I include the good feeling you have when being held or physically touched is eros love being felt on the receiving end. Yes, catching her is an act of love. But since the act includes physical touch then she also gets to feel what it is like to be touched by the one she loves. At this point she keeps her eros feelings in check because they aren’t married yet and does not lust or rouse love at a deeper level of fulfilment until the proper time.
Any man touching any woman is not eros love, but I consider this eros love in the love poem because they are in a dating relationship when the physical touch happens. Just my opinion.
3 The next time we see physical touch happening in the love song is after their engagement. After they have been apart for sometime and the feeling gets unbearable for her. She has to be near him. She goes and finds him and “holds him tight” until all is better. Song 3:4. I see this as her grasping his arm but could also include holding hands.
till I had brought him to my mother’s house,
to the room of the one who conceived me.” Song 3:4
All the single ladies out there can imagine themselves wanting to experientially know what this feels like. Amazing!! If you desire to hold and be held then this is eros love in the form of eros desire. When that desire is fulfilled then I called this eros love fulfilled.
4 God commands the fulfilment of eros love along with agape to have their deepest and most intimate level of fulfilment in a marriage context and not before. On their wedding night the command is to “Drink your fill of love.” Song 5:1. Which means the man should use all means necessary to help her feel loved in the bedroom. And vice versa. She should fulfil his desire to feel loved.
On their wedding night both of them desire each other. Both of them want to fulfill the eros desires of each other. Neither one wants to deprive the other. God commands married men and women to not deprive the spouse of eros love or Satan himself will come tempt the one you love to find fulfillment outside of the marriage bed.
“The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:4-5.
5 The next time we see eros love is in Song 7:7-8 when he lets her know he is going to make love to her in metaphors. “Climb” “Take hold”. You could see this as eros love promises by your beloved. She wants it and he promises to give it to her.
6 Then we see eros love desired to be fulfilled in 8:1. She wants to kiss him. She can’t wait to express her love to him. They have been apart again, and they meet in the city outside. Custom has it that it was inappropriate to have spouses kiss in public. She wishes he was a brother so she could at least give him some form of physical affection but has to wait till they are in a private location.
“If only you were to me like a brother,
who was nursed at my mother’s breasts!
Then, if I found you outside,
I would kiss you,
and no one would despise me.” Song 8:1
7 The last example of eros love in the love Song is when she feels it while leaning on him. They have had a long day or week of work and laboring in God’s kingdom and she leans on him. Oh, the feeling of being close and leaning on your beloved. Felt by both. This context is not eros love desiring to be fulfilled but being fulfilled, kind of like contentment.
Have you been using your wife to fulfill the lust of your flesh? Repent and help her feel loved, think of her first.
If you have sinned against your wife or husband the confess that sin to God and your spouse.
Ask for forgiveness. Which is the same as asking “Will you not be mad at me”.
Know that you deserve punishment from God in hell for being selfish.
Trust Jesus felt that punishment you deserved in his body and soul on the cross. Said, “It is finished”. He paid the punishment in full. This is love. Agape love to the greatest degree.
Now Jesus Christ would like a close intimate spiritual relationship with you. Repent of you sin, pride, unbelief and selfishness and draw near to God through faith in Jesus. He desires you more than you desire Him! Get closer and closer by reading your Bible and obeying. Read and obey! Simple to say, hard to do, but with Christ Jesus in your heart all things are possible.
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