When Solomon met his first wife his holy character and love casted out all fear in her heart. She had no fear and only courage and trust. Therefore, he likened her to a fearless and powerful mare in battle.
Young’s Literal Translation
“To my joyous one in chariots of Pharaoh, I have compared thee, my friend”
I chose the YLT because it translates the Hebrew world to “friend“. Most translations say “my love” yet others say the Hebrew word is “companion” that is loved.
So, she is a fearless beloved friend and companion by Song 1:9.
Being friends as the Bible defines them is one of many solid foundations to base a marriage upon.
Friends you should be while dating. Then while dating you should get to be closer friends.
This friendship should get ever closer in marriage and will continue on into heaven where it will forever get even closer as the two get closer to Jesus Christ! For there is” no marrying in heaven.” Matthew 22:30
Leadership and friends in the beginning of a relationship.
Solomon’s “head was pure gold” Song 5:11. His leadership was flawless “pure” and precious and valuable to her like “gold”.
Though the man in dating isn’t a full leader like in marriage, he should lead in an appropriate manner as to each level of the relationship.
Meaning at the beginning they are friends and get closer.
They are brother and sister in the LORD and get closer.
They are co-heirs to the Kingdom of God and get closer.
Iron sharpening iron.
I suppose there may be more relationships but can’t think of them now.
Leadership.
A leader knows where they are, where they are planning to go and how to get there. As a leader, explain
Where are the two of you now?
1 Acquaintances, friends, Know of each other.
2 Do both agree that becoming closer friends is with the intent of it leading to dating or courtship? Or is one person not ready for any form of dating right now?
3 Are both on the same page and have the same idea of closer friends, dating, courtship etc?
4 Does one person need more convincing that the other is really saved and truly devoted to Jesus?
Where are you going? Closer friends, closer than a brother, closer brother and sister in the LORD, closer co-heirs
How are you going to get there? Spend time together serving, witnessing, in group settings, on the phone, coffee, meals, parks, praying together and for each other, overcoming mountains that separate the two of you, biblically resolving conflict, repenting and all the while keeping the Glory of God and Christ Jesus at the center of it all.
I suppose as iron sharpens iron so will two Christians spending time together sharpen one another.
Truths spoken and spiritual help in getting to know someone, in dating and in marriage is done as a friend.
Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”
A spiritual leader provides spiritual guidance mainly by example but also by speaking the truth in love, encouraging, and sometimes rebuking.
A leader also sets boundaries. Like no kissing, cuddling or front hugs or staying alone together at night. Purity of mind and body is crucial to holy dating.
My point in all this is that there should be some form of leadership going on in dating and her following. It is in dating where she gets a taste of his leadership in a more personal way for he will be her spiritual leader in marriage.
Verses so you can get a better Biblical idea of friendship
Scriptural wisdom dictates her to choose a good friend.
Proverbs 12:26 “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
A friend doesn’t cause strife or whisper for they cause separation. A true friend will feel, think, say and do things that bring the two closer.
Proverbs 16:28 “A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends.”
A friend doesn’t intentionally repeat matters that separate and they forgive.
“He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends.”
Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Closeness of a friend can get closer than the bond of a close family member.
Proverbs 18:24 “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
A friend is generous and gives and doesn’t take or be selfish.
Proverbs 19:6 “Many entreat the favor of the nobility, And every man is a friend to one who gives gifts.”
Sincerity, love and gracious words can bring about the friendship of even the people of highest authority.
Proverbs 22:11 “He who loves purity of heart And has grace on his lips, The king will be his friend.”
Wounds of a friend don’t come with deceit and can be trusted to be for good or the greater good.
Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
The counsel of a friend is delightful.
Proverbs 27:9 “Ointment and perfume delight the heart, And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.”
When times get tough a friend will not forsake you but be there for you.
Proverbs 27:10 “Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, Nor go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity”
Friends do their best to cheer up their friend.
Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”
Love to a friend has degree’s. Dying for them is the greatest display of love.
John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
Depth of knowledge shared and intentions are cause for a change into a deeper relationship if you were only a servant and intimate information was being withheld.
John 15:15 “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.”
Friendship with God is the primary foundation of a believer’s friendship with another believer.
A friend of God reads the Bible and believes it in a way that leads to obedience.
James 2:23 “And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God.”
John 15:14 “You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.”
James 4:4 “Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”
Being a beloved companion is crucial in dating as well.
Solomon’s song of songs 1:9, 1:15, 2:2, 2:10, 2:13, 4:1, 4:7, 5:2, 6:4.
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