When should a suitor propose to a woman? Ever wonder when is the right time. I mean most men if they love the woman would not want her to say no. If he truly loves her he would want his love to her reciprocated with a positive answer to his request for her to marry him. In the most beautiful language of Song and Hebrew poetry the type of Christ irresistibly calls her closer. This section of the love Song answers the question of timing. When should a man of God propose to a godly woman? I suppose if you were to flip the tables and ask it another way. When should she say “Yes”!
A proposal is simply an offer of marriage.
A type of Jesus Christ was gifted with unmeasurable wisdom, fell in love with a born again Gentile slave girl, courted her then proposed. Their love was so strong and utterly unquenchable that the two ended up living in the sweetest most happiest harmony possible.
Solomon’s Song of Songs is a love poem written from the woman’s perspective of what it feels like to fall in love with a wise and loving type of Christ! What does it feel like to fall in love with someone who is like Jesus Christ? In her words it is “more delightful than wine” Song 1:2
The young maiden fell in true love at Solomon’s first anointing. They have the most amazing first date that has the bride passing out in his arms at a banquet hall due to the overwhelming expressions of his love to her. The Song takes a break and then we have the king coming to her house to propose. The man of her dreams is showing up to ask her hand in marriage and she is excited to see him coming.
He asks her hand in marriage in such a sweet skillful way and in the proper time that the proposal ends with her glorying in the fact that they belong to each other for she says,
“My beloved is mine and I am his” 2:16
So she says yes!
Usually we tend to barely think things out before we say them but what you say to the woman you want to marry is thought about quite a bit. What would the wisest man on earth at the time say to the one he wants to marry? Again from her perspective here is how it happens. Here is how they got engaged. She is in her mother’s house when she see’s him coming and says,
8 Listen! My beloved!
Look! Here he comes,
leaping across the mountains,
bounding over the hills.
9 My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.
Look! There he stands behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
peering through the lattice.
10 My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my love,
my beautiful one, come with me.
11 See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
12 Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me.” Solomon’s Song of Songs 2:8-13
I have already spoken about Song 2:8,9 and 10 in the “Sweetest proposal” 1,2 and 3. So here is the 4th blog post on his offer of marriage to the born again Gentile slave girl.
This post will focus on the reasons he gives as to why she should arise and go away with him.
First he shows up and she see’s the man of her dreams coming, the king is coming to her house to propose. Imagine how she feels. He looks through the lattice and peers through the window to get a glimpse of the one he loves, then he says to her,
“Arise, my love,
my beautiful one, come with me.”
Then he gives 6 reasons why she should leave her father and mother and come away with him. The 6 reasons can be viewed individually but are also understood meant to be understood taken altogether as well. See if you can recognize them individually and taken altogether.
“Arise, my love,
my beautiful one, come with me.”
11 “See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
12 Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.” Solomon’s Song of Songs 2:11-13
1 “Winter is past”
2 “Rains are over and gone”
3 “Flowers appear on the earth”
4 “Cooing of doves is heard in our land”
5 “Fig tree forms its early fruit”
6 “Blossoming vines spread their fragrance”
Taken altogether. Take all the reason together and we see him masterfully making the point that because they are getting closer and more and more in love that they should get engaged. He is pointing out that they are becoming one so now is the time for his love to be manifested to her at a deeper level by him asking her to marry him. Basically he is saying, “Since love is in the air and we are getting closer and know each other better and things are working out then lets get married.” Yet he does it in sweet poetic language that effectively calls her closer.
We know he is giving reasons why she should go with him because he says, “See”
Notice the first reason he gives as to why she should go with him.
“Arise, my love,
my beautiful one, come with me.
See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.”
The first reason she should go with him is that “the winter is past” and the second reason is that the “rains are over and gone.”
Basically, the some of the most poetic language he saying that the reason she should go with him and give herself to him is because it is the proper time. The timing is right. The winter is past, the rains are over and gone.
To get the full idea of it being the proper time you would have to read the whole thing and include the warning in 2:7 about the timing of arousing love. The bride charges the daughters of Jerusalem…
“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
Notice the “until it so desires”
Some things clearly give him the indication that the time is right for him to arouse her love by proposing and thus woo her closer with his sweet words. If she says yes, then he has aroused her affection toward himself. He most lovingly and wisely arouses her love with the sweetest words at the proper time.
1 During winter is not a good time to propose.
During the winter of a relationship is not a good time. During the cold times of a relationship is not a good time to ask a woman to marry you. While having legitimate fears is not a good time to propose or say yes if your the woman. And if you notice she still had some fears even after he proposed because she doesn’t immediately say yes. There are some foxes that she fears will destroy the growing intimacy between the two that need being caught.
2 This implies that a couple in courtship will have bad cold winters. Cold times are necessary but not fun. But the result if they love is other is a better understanding of each other. These times must occur and then be gone for it to be a good time to propose. Not that their relationship is perfect but they have learned how to go through difficult times that could have possibly lead to separation but have lead to a sweeter union and better understanding and more love. In simple language the couple should of had a good verbal fight or argument and have it past and gone in a way that the two are closer due to the superlative sweet flame of love in both their hearts. Winter is a harsh difficult time to get through. So the idea is that both of you have gone through some difficult times and the relationship is stronger because of it. Then this is a good indication that the time of proposing is more then likely soon.
This line of thinking is strengthened further by reading the whole proposal again.
My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my love,
my beautiful one, come with me.
11 See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
12 Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me.” Solomon’s Song of Songs
3 I just noticed something else about the timing as it relates to Song 2:8-9. He is clearly wanting to be with her and she is clearly happy when he arrived. He wants to be with her and she wants to be with him, this makes the timing of the proposal good. She seems quite excited to explain to us what it was like for her when he arrived. It’s not like she is pushing him away, and its not like he is pushing her away. Love desires closer intimacy and not further distance.
4 Even though they were apart their feelings for each other still grew strong. Notice he is coming to her house. This implies that they were physically separated. And now the king is coming to be in her presence and she was eagerly awaiting his arrival.
If your man was gone for quite a while and you didn’t miss him then this is a good indication that it’s not the time for engagement. Love is not desirous in this situation. “Do not arouse or awaken love until it desires.”
Notice the beautiful progression. Winter, rain, fruit then fragrance. Argument, talking it out, fruits of a closer union and delightful smells thereof. Im not saying that Solomon meant winter to be a metaphor for an argument. Im just using bad communication as an example just because it is so common an issue next to finances. So you have the progression of a closer relationship. Bad communication turns to talking it out, reconciliation or defining of words. With leads to both have a better understanding of love and each other which is the beauty that results and the fragrance of the vine is the blessing enjoyed by both of them due to the better understanding of each other.
“Winter is gone.” Winter could be any bad or difficult situation that is overcome by their love for each other. The idea is that any legitimate reason to not get married is gone. The metaphor of “winter” could be understood as a verbal fight or disagreement.
The metaphor of rain being over and gone is the talking it out is over. Such sweet communion and not fighting, is a precursor to the blessing that follows. The rain is what comes in bet
The metaphor of “flowers appearing” is the beauty of a stricter union of hearts that comes about by sweet communion with the one you love.
The “cooing of doves” is the desire to be closer to the one you love. The cooing of doves is one lover sweetly calling out to the other. Hear the coming king cooing, “Arise my love, my beautiful one, come away with me.”
“Flowers appear on the earth.” The result of the rain is that beauty appears on the earth. Life. Is the result of rain. Spring is my favorite time of year because my front yard is beautified. Flowers appear. The yard gets more beautiful. The idea is that beautiful things in the relationship are happening, therefore it is a good time to propose.
Another result of the rain is that “The fig tree forms it’s early fruit.”
Due to the changing seasons there is a time when “blossoming vines spread their fragrance.”
We have had some issues, we talked them out, it brought us closer together and now we can enjoy the early fruits of our union before marriage. Sweeter conversations. More knowledge of each other etc.
Application
Here we have good advice for a Father to a son or a mother to a daughter as to when they should get engaged.
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