Some things are important in life. Some things are really important in life.
What is important for a sweet harmonious loving relationship with your spouse?
Many things are important like love, respect, good communication, forgiveness, patience etc.
In Scripture when something is important it is repeated.
It is also interesting for me to note that this verse is the most google verse of the whole poem. 1 out of 5 times someone searches for information on Solomon’s Song of Songs it has to do with this verse. 20% of the time. Other verses are often used in weddings but Solomon’s Song of Songs 2:7, 3:5 and 8:4 is searched the most often. I have done so much work on it because it is repeated 3x in the Song and I believe understanding it proper is the second best key to understand the Love Song as a whole. Which is the next most important thing to Context, Context and Context. “Authorial intent” of describing and illustrating love is also key.
Solomons Song of Songs is the best love poem Solomon wrote. It illustrates love better than 1,004 other Songs he wrote.
3 times in the Love Poem there is a warning.
“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Solomon’s Song of Songs 2:7, 3:5 and 8:4.
I have written quite extensively on this verse in a blog here “Do not arouse or awaken love“. But something I haven’t written about yet I will discuss now.
The truth is that love unites. Love has power to unite. The feelings of the woman can be easily influences by the words and action of the man and vise versa.
Love, true love has the power to unite and draw two people closer together.
The basic idea of the command is that in courtship and marriage, you are to no arouse closer intimacy wether it be their verbal words, physical appearance, visual stimuli, smells, until the proper time.
Ways of arousing love..
Verbal. Words can be said to soon. Words can be said that will draw two people closer. Some things that are felt by the woman may be reserved to be said until after marriage, because they would inappropriate to share before marriage. Good things and feelings but to soon. So the command to not “arouse or awaken love until the proper time” is appropriate to certain things being said. Saying “I Love you” to soon could be another example of verbal communication that could unite to soon.
Proposal is also a verbal way in which two people courting can be drawn to a closer level of commitment in the relationship. Song 2:10-13. Notice the timing of his proposal. It is a time of love.
“My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, come with me.
11 See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
12 Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me.”
He waited for the proper time to arouse her to be engaged. He waited for the right time. He said sweet words. He called her “my beautiful one”. He repeats what he wants of her 2x which is for her to “come away with him“. Here is an example of an appropriate time to propose. A way of using words to bring the relationship to a closer more intimate level. Engagement.
Prior to him proposing to her we can see many ways in which she appropriately aroused him to propose to her. She displayed a noble character. She spoke appropriately. She attracted him physically. He doves eyes drew him closer. She stayed holy under trials. She wanted to be near him. All these things and more aroused him to propose to her. Thus she says in Song 8:5 “Under the apple tree, I aroused you.”
Physical. Physical things can be done that will unite to soon. Touching is included in this area. Do not arouse or awaken love until the proper time. Do not touch in certain ways until the proper time. Do not kiss till the proper time. I dating a godly woman once that didn’t want me to hold her hand or touch her at all because it would excite her to much before the proper time. Obviously this includes all sex. No sexual arousal of any kind until marriage!!! No lingerie!! No inappropriate or revealing clothing until the wedding night.
Her physical appearance clearly drew him closer for he recognizes her beauty and lets her know she is attractive to him in Song 1:9 by calling her the “most beautiful of women“.
In the category of physical things that can draw two people closer you could include hugs. There is a front hug and a side hug. I have been in Christian circles were the man would never hug a woman from the front and only from the side. Jewish men are to not shake the hand of a married woman. All of this is to avoid arousing love in certain contexts.
As a non believer it was physical sex that I wanted. Arousing the woman to have sex with me was the only thing I wanted. I was selfish and pretty much everything I did was to get her to sleep with me. The only reason I would date or even talk to them was so that I could fulfill my sexual desires. I did everything I could to arouse or awaken their love before the proper time. It pains me to say this but it is true. Thank the Lord that He saved me and I am still single and haven’t even kissed a girl for 20 years.
Smells. Fragrances. Perfumes.
I cant think of anyone that wants to be close to someone who smells bad. In Song 1:12 the woman not yet engaged is wearing perfume when the king was around or near her.
“While the king was around,
my perfume spread its fragrance.” Song 1:12
Why would she do this? Why would any woman wear perfume when around someone she loved? She certainly didn’t want to push him away. She loved him and wanted to please him and attract him to herself, thus arousing him by her perfume. So we see during the courtship phase she appropriately used smells to draw him to herself.
Actions.
Things like giving flowers and gifts can arouse or awaken love. Timing these is important as well.
Spiritual beliefs and godly character should be the main attraction, for how can two walk together unless they be in agreement in these things. Truly the base and primary foundation of the most excellent lovers love for each other in the Song is the character of the other person. For she says is “name” or reputation is like “ointments poured out“. Song 1:2-3 And his loving character was “more delightful than wine”.
I have a headache right now so its hard for me to think, but for now I cant think of any reason why someone being holy or godly would arouse love before the proper time for a holy and godly person wouldn’t arouse love before the proper time. So be as holy and Christ like as possible as a single person as well as in courtship and marriage!!
Im interested in ways in which you think love can be aroused to soon. Let me know in the comments.
Other posts I did on this verse
Categories
Uncategorized