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My Journey Through the Song

It is August of 2018  and I have been saved since Feb. of 2000.  Not long after God saved my soul and I was born again through the Person and work of Jesus Christ my Savior and Bridegroom who owns me, someone told me to pick a book in the Bible and understand every verse.  To really get it.  To know all of it and apply it!

I saw the leaders of my Bible Study as wise godly men and I took their advice.  I started to read from Genesis.  I was probably 6 months saved and 28 years old.  A few months later I got to Proverbs and really fell in love with it.  I started memorizing Prov. 3 just for the joy of being able to think of truth.

I started to think, I like Genesis and Exodus was delightful as well and the psalms were great but confusing because I didn’t know much of the context.  And now in Proverbs Im really happy.  I wondered if I could find something even more delightful!

I read on to Ecclesiastes and then I read Solomon’s Song of Songs for the first time.  Anyone who has fallen in love with the greatest love Song Solomon ever wrote will generally remember the first time they read it, due to its unique nature.  It baffled me quite a bit but when I ran into certain verses that seemed to make clear sense to me, I would then memorize them and then meditate on them.  The first time I did this with what I now call universal verses, I had so much delight and joy that it was “unspeakable and full of glory!” Which was the first time I experientially understood that verse.   I memorized

My beloved is mine, and I am his” Solomon’s Song of Songs 2:16

I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.”  Solomon’s Song of Songs 7:10

It seemed like I went at least 2 months with these verses would be delightful dancing in my heart nearly every spare moment.  I would think of Jesus who died for me and then think “He is mine”  The one who died for me is mine!!  And so on and so on with greater and greater delight my meditations on these truths seemed to increase my joy and delight in God more than anteing else.  I know babes should get pure milk, but this milk seemed like it was the purest and most nourishing of all, more delightful than any other experience I had had thus far!

Husband’s and wives own each other and here I knew also that I owned Jesus and that He was mine for He gave Himself to and for me!

Universal verses and idea’s or truth’s.   A universal truth is a truth in Scripture or principle that is true in all the primary unions of  God with the Son,  The Son with His Bride,  a husband and wife,  God and Israel, the individual believer and Jesus Christ and Christ and the church.

I could not believe what was going on.  I was only saved for about 8 months and the joy I had was inexplainable!  Being a new believer I really didn’t know what was going on so I just kept doing what made me happy and not feel guilty.  Shame and guilt I did not want to feel either so whatever made me feel shameful I would do my best to not do so that I could keep that good feeling.  I really didn’t know I was grieving the Holy Spirit in me but I knew when I sinned it may have given my body pleasure or comfort but my conscience had been lit up so clearly that I felt sorrow when I thought of what I did and that I wasn’t happy or joyful when I felt sorrow.  Often I would try to do more good to get that good feeling back but that hardly ever worked.  I soon learned that when I sinned and felt guilty that I should think of Jesus, who is God’s Son, who suffered in my place.  I sinned, yes, but the punishment that I deserved for what I just did is not going to come to me so I need not fear because Jesus Christ was punished for me.   Then my joy would be back and I would do good works out of love and not do good out of fear of judgment because fear has to do with punishment, yet Jesus took that punishment for those whom the Father gave Him before the world began, His Bride.

I found that if I had sinned and felt guilty then reading the Song was not delightful.  I had now resolved to understand every verse!  For me thats a big deal.  Because when I commit to something I do it as best as possible according to God’s gifting me.  I had no clue what I had gotten myself into but I had just resolved to “understand every verse”.  That was 17 years ago.

I thought I would get a commentary.  Little did I know it then but this commentary would change my life more than any other.  I went to a seminary and looked at the books they had.  I ran across one that had words in it so sweet that I immediately sat down and prayerfully read it.  By now I would often think of a truth over and over again.  It would be something about Jesus and his relationship to and with me.

The book I got was by George Burrow called “The Song of Solomon”.  He believed the Song was an allegory of Christ’s love to the church and applied everything to the believer.  By now I wrongly understood the Song to be about literally talking about Jesus Christ’s love to the Church.

I now understand it to be about love.  A great type of Christ loving a Gentile enemy slave girl and her love to him and the love they shared.  Its about oneness in marriage.  Reflecting the glory of God in marriage.

After a year of reading the commentary I would mention the book to other’s and they would tell me its not about Christ and the church its about a man and a woman.  I would often hear that because my church used a historical literal way of interpretation and exegesis.   The book the way I understand it as Jesus and me was changing my life so much that I ignored their advice and kept understanding it as Jesus and me.

The thing that was changing me was than my mind would think of truth and I would delight in it, I would think of Jesus and the very thoughts transformed me from “one level of glory to another” 2 Cor. 3:18

The thing was is the George Burrows and the Puritans I was reading would always say truth.  Nothing they would say about Jesus would be a lie.  What I was learning was that truth changes, it didn’t matter how you got there but the truth meditated on will change and affect your emotions.  The point is that the Puritans thought you could take out the name Solomon and put Jesus Christ there instead.  And then understand the bride to be the church or individual believer.   This method was excellent at coming to some great truths but the way to do it was not what God nor Solomon intended for the Song of Songs.  The Song is meant to be read as how Israel’s promised Messiah faithfully loved a Gentile enemy slave girl.  Solomon was promised by God to rule Israel.  At the time of the Song, people who had faith, believed Solomon to be a promised Messiah, the son of David.

So it is a marriage between a type of Christ and his bride and points to the greater marriage between the Greater Anti-type and his bride.

They would believe that the coming Messiah would be greater than Solomon because Solomon sinned and was not a substitute for sinners and would reign forever and not 40 years.

My quest to understand every verse in the first 6 years was gone about by me in quite a naive manner.  I memorized the book up to chapter 3 because anything later would cause me to sin due to the talk of breasts and a physical union at the end of chapter 4.  For the first 6 years I trusted the Puritans because of their level of holiness, I thought how could so many people be so holy and have their bible “the Song of Songs” wrong.  Many Puritans saw the Song of Songs as the churches bible!  It was preached often and was the center of many revivals.  It was the most preached on book of the Bible during revivals of love to Jesus Christ!  This is what I wanted.  I wanted more love to Jesus and the Song of Songs did it better than any other!  It illustrates love better than any other!  And if you don’t know that then you don’t know Solomon’s Song of Songs.

The path to understand.

Learning to put Solomon back into the Song.

During the time that I thought that you could just take Solomon out and put Jesus there in the Song, I believe the Spirit in me kept me thinking.  How could that be right if Jesus didn’t live at the time of Solomon.   Would the Jew know that the bridegroom in the Song was The Coming Messiah or a type of Him?  At bare minimum they would have known that he was a type of The Coming Messiah because Solomon partially fulfilled prophecies about The Coming Messiah.  So they would have seen Solomon as like The Coming Messiah but not Him.  A greater than Solomon was yet to come.

The Israelites knew that they should love the type of Christ but that their love to The Coming Christ should be greater because God’s “Name” Ex. 23:21 was in Him, YHWH.

Since I was being more and more convicted that when The Song says Solomon, it means Solomon and not God or Jesus.   I became convinced that the bridegroom in the Song was like Jesus Christ in many ways in which he loved his bride but Solomon was a type of Christ and not Jesus.  So I started to read the Puritan commentaries again, this time I put Solomons name wherever they put Jesus.   This allowed me to see if it were possible for it to still make sense and it did.  Even the superlatives that they gave Jesus like “unmeasurable wisdom”  also applied to Solomon 1 Kings 4:29.  Having a name above all other names also applied to Solomon Song 5:10.   Solomon being the most desirable king alive in Song 1:2-4 also applied to Jesus, yet Jesus Christ The Son of God and not Jedidiah, the beloved son of God is even more desirable to have as a King, Shepherd, Friend, Suitor, covenant promise keeper, Savior and Bridegroom.

Okay now after about 8 years of study I am convinced that it is Solomon loving his bride and also rejecting the Trio view.  I now had more questions than ever!!

Most commentaries don’t come to many conclusions which only leads to more confusion.  Why would I keep a bunch of ideas that people think may be true but can’t prove.  Many commentaries and books use phrases like “could be this” or “could be that”  could either be this or that or “seems like this”  or better interpreted some way but they don’t use proper hermeneutics.

I thought I was going to understand a book, every verse in the book by reading a commentary that had all the answers.  The puritans did.  But those who took it historically and literally wouldn’t come to important conclusions of absolute truth.  The Song is hard to understand and those who are “unstable and unlearned” often distort it like I had the first 6 years.

Over the years I have collected over 80 commentaries or books on the Song and have spent well over 10,000 hours just studying chapter 1, which was a mistake because I should have tried to understand it as a whole and then just skip studying certain verses that I believe any single person ought not to meditate on for any real length of time until married but only get the general idea of like Song 4:5, 4:12-5:1 and Song 7:7-8.

After quite some time looking through many commentaries trying to make sense of the whole thing I had way to many questions unanswered because I want to know what the Song meant and use it properly but how could I do that with so much confusion out there on nearly every single verse!

Context was the answer, Context and more knowledge about what the whole Bible says about marriage and love.

The major context that was missing was the fact that the bride was a sunburnt Gentile enemy slave girl.  Compare 1 Kings 9:20-23 with Song 1:5-6.  The idea of being sunburnt carried a stigma with it that caused the daughters of Jerusalem to stare at them and judge them.  Why? They were enemies of God put to slave labor.  She was made to take care of the vineyards by the Israelites, her mothers sons.

Then understanding Solomon to be a type of Christ was enlightening.  A bridegroom that was so much like Jesus Christ in his love to his bride that the Puritans actually thought it was about Jesus Christ.  You could hardly tell where Solomon ended and Jesus began for the two were so much like each other in their love to their brides.

The title itself had me stumped for over a year.  Many were saying that the Song is the best ever.  Or that it was the best Solomon wrote.  But why was the Song worthy of a superlative title?  What was it about the love song that made it better than all the rest?  What type of content would be in a Love Poem that would make it superior to all the rest?  They were superlative lovers due the superlative characteristic of their love. 8:6.  She is the most beautiful woman and he is the most desirable man.  Superlatives were all over the place therefore you have a superlative love on display!!  Thus the title Song of Songs.

Fourteen years into my study I still couldn’t get over the fact that my spiritual life had changed so much even looking at the glory of God in the face of Solomon.  But it makes sense that the glory of God seen anywhere changes a person.  The glory of God reflected in the face of a type of Christ would transform the heart because any reflection is something of the Original that has power to transform when beheld with trembling and delight.

Another break thru came when I understood the key verse or verses  Song 8:5-7.  In 8:5 the bride realizes that they are one in every manner and degree and says “set me as a seal upon your heart”,  They are one!  The reason they are one is because of certain superlative characteristics of their love.  It was one of the strongest force on earth!  Was unquenchable.  Its jealousy was as severe as the grave.  It couldn’t be bought with all the riches of ones house.

These characteristics of love are illustrated through out the Love Song!  How beautiful is that!!

I had come to the conclusion that this is no ordinary marriage.  It is between a king and a servant.  A Jew and a sunburnt Gentile enemy slave needing redemption.  Two enemies who become friends.  She pursues him.  He is the most desirable husband/type of Christ alive!!

I save the best for last!!  The best thing God has taught me about the truths in the Song of Songs, is the fact that

The principle truths about union in love must be argued from the lesser christ to the Greater Jesus Christ.  Meaning what is true about the character of Solomon as a type of Jesus Christ is Greater in Jesus therefore we get a higher view of Jesus by understanding that the type of christ in the Song loved his bride but Jesus loved His Bride even more!!

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Get a sense of what it feels like to be loved by the type of Christ and know that Jesus Christ loves us even more.  His love is higher, His love is deeper, His love is wider,  His love endures forever unlike Solomon’s.

So the Love poem is profitable to teach us what love is.  What it looks like and feels like to be loved by a great type of Christ.  To teach those in marriage what love is, to correct those trying to love each other and to rebuke those who know better and to encourage those who are getting love right in their respective unions to continue doing so.

 

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Saved in 2000 at age 27. Nearly immediately I fell in love with the Song and grew very fast the first two years memorizing large portions of scripture purifying my mind the started chewing on meat to soon and struggled for 12 years and Christ has me on track like always but I just took the long way around and now I love leading others closer to Christ by seeing His love reflected in Solomons love for an enemy slave girl.

I have experienced God's love to me in the Song in ways that words can't express. There are many portion of the Word where she experiences extra ordinary outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God. If you have a burning desire for a close intimate relationship with God by experiencing His Love to you over and over again at greater and greater heights, depths, lengths and breaths then The Song of Songs is where you need to be.

I can help you with this process of Growing in the experience of God's love. As of 7-23-16 I have experienced everything prior to chapter 8. The Song of Song is progressive in experience. Meaning that if you are mature then you can experience the joys and extraordinary outpourings of God's Love shed abroad in your heart.

If you are not so mature then the delights in the first chapter of the Song will satisfy your thirst for experiencing the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many Christian are living in sin because they do not know how to experience God's love and get hooked on Loving Him. It feels good to be loved and to love Him. His burden is not heavy and His yoke is light, Jesus said in Matt. 10:28

I believe God wants to use me to help beautify His Bride through the Song of Solomon.

If you see the book literally you will not understand nor grasp the Love God has for you. If you see the book and the verses in it relating to Christ's love to you then I would love to show you how to experience this Love to the fullest. I will pray for you daily and guide you every step of the way.

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I grew up going to church but was a hypocrite. I lived my life how I chose but went to church on Sunday because my family went.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 5.

About this time I was sexually abused by "Bob" a made up name. This incident changed my life for the worst. I had no clue how to deal with it.

As I got older I grew in my hatred for Bob. I didn't blame anyone of my family because I was to young to know any better. Some of what happened during the abuse was in a bathroom. So overtime I would use the bathroom and look at my private parts that night would replay in my mind. My hatred for Bob would continue to grow each time.

Now I know this only happened to me one night. I can't image the pain other's go through who have had this happen to them over and over. Even as I write this now I cry with many tears for those hurting. God love you even though you may not know it or feel it. Go to Him in your time of need.

I was a really bad teenager. I only cared about myself and not even my family. I always came first in my mind. Even at the expense of hurting others. I was growing in my hatred for God by now.

I was going to church and was learned that God was in control. I thought well, if God was in control then He must have let me be sexually abused. I didn't understand this, How could a good and loving God allow this. I hated Him for it. My hatred for Bob grew as well. I was still using the bathroom and memories kept coming back. My heart grew even harder for Bob and God. As far as I was concerned God would have nothing to do with my life so I lived even worse. I thought I would be in jail or dead and I really didn't care, I thought it could be much worse than reliving your painful past over and over again. Little did I know that God's plan later would be to use these events to give me a burning passion for the closest most intimate love relationship with Himself through Christ mainly through the love poem in the Song of Songs in the Bible.

I remember hating Bob so much that the only thing that would relieve my pain was actually thinking he would suffer forever for what he did. I grew so much in my hatred for him that I had to continue to think that he would get even worse than what I imaged before. After some time I would only be relieved of hatred for him unless I thought he would burn in a hotter and hotter hell for all the suffering he put me through.

I never told my mom or family what happened, although I think some of them knew something had happened.

I grew up quite rebellious and even went to jail at the age of 20. I was living the fast life pursuing all my sinful desires and wanting more. It never seemed to be enough. I was quite happy in my sin but I just wanted more of it.

I lived life thinking I would die at a young age, riding motorcycle and living on the edge put me in the hospital many times and I should have been dead.

California at age 26.

I moved to California for a job opportunity at the age of 27. While trying to figure out what radio stations to program in my car, I ran across a RC Sproul talking about "people who have the faith that saves and people who only say that have faith" only the people who have the faith that saves will go to heaven. I thought "I don't think I have the faith that saves because my life was so bad." I searched the scriptures to try to get this faith. I found a church and thought people there could help me get this faith that saves. All along God kept showing me how sinful I was and that I deserved punishment from Him for living my life hating Him.

One weekend I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John desperately trying to find out how to get this faith that saves. By now I knew that if you had the faith that saves that Jesus would be saving you from a life of sin. I still liked my sin and Jesus sure wasn't saving me from a life of sin, so I rightly concluded that I didn't have the faith that saves.

By the time I got to John, I saw "believe" everywhere. John 3:16 and other verses and wow the whole book was written so that you may believe. John 20:31 "these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." So at night I would pray "I believe Jesus died for me, I believe, I believe. This was just an intellectual belief. I knew that in history and the Bible that Jesus died for everyone, so I believed it. But this belief did not change my life.

I would go on night after night saying the same prayer only to wake up the next day wanting to fulfill my sinful desires. The prayer wasn't working so I started to word it different each time hoping some prayer would work. After about 2 weeks of this I was fed up with it all, nothing was happening. I still was living in my sin and wanted more of it. A Christian hates their sin and does something about it, and certainly they don't continue to make plans to sin. The prayers weren't working so I gave up. I thought to myself "God, I tried with all my might, I searched the Scriptures, went to church, read the Bible and prayed all to no avail. If Im going to be saved your going to have to do it because I tried."

So I quit praying but still the Bible kept calling me so I read more. 3 Days later I was laying in a tanning bed and God convicted me really hard that I had offended Him by the life I was living. I was so scared of God, where could I run. You can't hide from God. It seemed like forever that I was under these terrors of being punished by a Holy Angry God. This lasted about 10 minutes then this is how I understood it. God let me understand that all that anger that He had for me for all my sin should come my way but He had poured that anger out on Jesus 2,000 years ago. I immediately started weeping an couldn't stop for about 20 minutes. All the sins that I could think of I confessed for that 20 minutes one after another after another, I was so sorrowful and grieved it physically hurt inside.

After I stopped crying I thought that was the weirdest thing that ever happened. I walked out of the tanning salon and stood outside and everything seemed so beautiful, the tree's, the birds, even the air seemed pleasant. Now I was really wondering what was going on.

I pondered all of this as I drove to work that day. I brought my Bible to work and was thinking what am I doing, I want to take my Bible to work so I can read it. As soon as I got to work I started reading my Bible. I couldn't believe what I was reading!! It all was so wonderful. It felt so good to just read my Bible. My client showed up and as I was training them the only thing I could think about was getting back to my Bible. I read all night and slept about 2 hours and was reading again.

I had sinful things in my apartment and I rounded everything evil up and threw it in the garbage. It was weird I was thinking but it felt good so I left it all in the garbage. I called my girlfriend to break it up and she thought I had another girl, I said no, I just think this is wrong we shouldn't be sleeping together. She didn't understand so I told her I was a Christian now and she still thought I had another girlfriend. She said "Im glad your a Christian, so am I" I thought to myself, "I have a strong conviction that sleeping together is wrong and she thought it was okay" I wondered how she could think that. Anyway we broke up.

I kept reading my bible and repenting, there was so much to repent of and I had lived a very sinful life. I was a thief for some part of my life and all the people I stole from kept coming to mind. I owed so much money. I was instantly in debt about $80,000. As I could I paid them back. As of 7-18-2016 I still owe about $25,000 but it sure is a joy to be paying them back.

The first week of being saved a car just about ran me over, they hit me but I wasn't hurt at all. The guy in the car felt so bad. I just looked at him and said "God bless you and have a great day, I am okay" smiled at him and moved on. Now I was really wondering what was going on because I normally would have cussed him out left and right and instead of cussing I blessed him. That was so weird. But again it felt good. I learned to do good by what my conscience told me was good and that it felt good. I got hooked on this feeling good by doing good and did it more often.

About two weeks after being saved I thought of Bob. I immediately prayed for him, something like "Lord help him.." then I stopped praying and said out loud "What am I doing?" I'm praying for a man that I hated my whole life, but it feels good and right, so I did it again. I stopped again midway in the prayer and started pacing around. I was trying to make sense of what was going on and couldn't figure it out. But again it made me happy to pray for him so I did. Bob would often come to mind when I went to the bathroom and each time I would pray for Him. The more I did this the less weird it got. And the greater my love grew for him.

I started memorizing large portions of scripture and this was wonderful because it felt like the words were cleaning my mind and as Proverbs 2:10 "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." I wanted more and more of this pleasantness. So I memorized even more and the joy got more and more.

Then this life changing advice came:

A friend from church told me to find a book of the Bible and really understand it. Read through the Bible and pick one and read it over and over and study it and really get it. So I started in Genesis and read through. When I got to Proverbs I really liked it so I thought that would be the book. I started by memorizing all of Proverbs chapter 3. After that I thought maybe there is a better book than Proverbs. So I read on. Then I came to Song of Solomon. I read it with quite some confusion. It wasn't as good as the other books, I didn't know why. So I bought a commentary on it. George Burrowes commentary on the Song of Solomon.

In the commentary I found that George and other saw the book as illustrating God's love to the Church. And not only illustrating it but displaying the Love of Christ better than any other book. This caught my attention big time, because I was having a burning desire for a closer relationship with God and desperately learning about His Love so that I could Love God. You see I had hated Him for so long that God used that old hard heart to spur me on in loving Him. I so much did not want to hate God anymore that I was on fire to learn to Love Him as much and as fast as possible. So here was a book that would help me do that. So I landed on the Song of Solomon. I committed to learning as much of this book as possible.

I memorized the first chapter and would repeat it often throughout the day. I didn't know much of what I was repeating but it sure made me happier and on fire for God. I grew so fast repeating the first chapter over and over again all day, like a dozen times a day at least. It felt so good and I never found any other book that caused me to weep so much. I would often weep everyday just reading it. I was to immature to know what was going on. Even though it hurt to weep so much, I felt like my heart was being cleansed from the filth that was in it by repeating it over and over again so I did. As I read the commentary I understood more and more. What God was doing in me through the Song was greater and faster than any other portion of Scripture so I tended to stay there often. I was so excited about God that I thought it funny that other's in church weren't the same way. Some where happy but it seemed most of them didn't seem to care much about God. They would talk about work, football the weather. The only thing I wanted to talk about was Jesus and God and how can I grow closer to Him.

About this time there was a mission trip to Ireland.

I started to have convictions that I should try to find Bob and witness to him. I kept praying for him but how could he be saved if he hadn't heard the Gospel that has power unto salvation. So I asked family if they had any information. Like me before, my family hated him and thought he deserved hell. After some time I got his name but no location or phone number. Either they didn't know where he was or didn't want to tell me. I prayed some more and then started to get stronger convictions to do something about finding Bob.

So I went on the internet and typed in "his name and child molestation sex offender court" thinking that some court record would have some info leading to where I may find him" I even talked to a private eye and he couldn't help. So I googled some key words and spent hours each day looking through each page. I believed it was God's will for me to witness to Bob. I wanted him to be saved. Really bad. So much so that I thought God would save Bob if I were to witness to him. So I didn't stop searching for him. I kept my computer on each day and went page by page. It took two years to go through about 15,000 pages but I found someone who matched his name in a prison for molesting his grandchildren. I wrote the prison and he wrote back. All kinds of emotions went through my body when I saw his letter from the jail. I didn't open it right away but two hours later God gave me enough courage to face my fears again and I opened the letter. He admitted to being the one who molested me. We wrote back and forth I told him I was angry before but now I was saved and that I loved him and believed God wanted me to talk to him. He read my letters over and over again. I shared the gospel in each one.

I got mad at Bob 2x. Once he said that he love me. I got really angry with him. He didn't love me. That night it was hard to love Bob, I had to call a friend to pray for me to repent, after he prayed I felt greater love for Bob. Then I wrote him back saying "I'm sorry but you can't say that you loved me. You did not love me you lusted after me." He admitted he didn't love as he should have and admitted that it was lust and sinful. Finally some conviction. Yet I only thought he was saying that because I was being nice to him. All his family had left him and he said I was the only "friend" he had.

Wether or not it was true Bob said that he had cancer in his arm and that the help the prison gives was not enough and if he had money he could see a different doctor and get help. I sent him some money and since I was in jail before I knew what it was like to be in there without money, so I sent him money.

About 4-5 months in the economy went down, it was 2008. Work was hard. I still sent him money and I had to work harder. This was a really good lesson for me because I had to "work hard for the benefit of someone who did not deserve it." This was one of the greatest blessing ever because I realized with great certainty that Jesus was in me. This is what Jesus did. Jesus worked his whole life for me and I didn't deserve it!! Christ was in me! This was one of the best feelings ever and it put me in worship for months.

Then a mission trip to Croatia.

Each time I had to leave my business and amazing as it is I was completely okay each time. I am a self employed personal trainer and it is normally absurd to just leave and start over, but each time I had enough work within 2 weeks of coming back. This is a flat out miracle. I trusted God to provide and he did. How many people can start up a business in 2 weeks. Only with the help of God. God was teaching me early on in my walk that as long as I did what He wanted me to do then I had nothing to worry about.

About 3 years saved now.

I Taught the 4 year old's at church Sunday morning for 10 years.

Left my business 2x for mission trips and God miraculously provided when I came back.

I taught 5 x a week plus held a job.

Sunday morning to the kids.
Sunday night with the 5th graders
Friday afternoons at Good News Clubs. Sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship.
Friday Nights with the Kids teaching through Pilgrims Progress, I did this 2x
Teaching Monday afternoons at a nursing home. I taught through the Song of Songs once then John, then Romans then back to the Song again! I love the Song of Songs.
I grew up hating God for what happened to me, and now I love Him because He first loved me. My passion is for children to grow up loving God and not hating Him.

My other passion which has become ever greater is to help others see the Love of Christ to His Church in the Song of Songs!!

I would love to help you, just let me know and I will lead you and pray for you.

God demonstrates His love to us in sending His one and only Son to suffer in our place, taking our sins upon Himself so that whoever believes they get to heaven because of what He did for us will not perish but have everlasting life.

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